Help me look like a James Bond character

Cafe Society
1

I got invited to a friend’s birthday party December 15. His wife wants to rent a posh party space and have everybody come as characters from James Bond movies, and have her husband dress up as JB himself.

I have no fashion sense, as my daily wear is T shirt and jeans. My own suit doesn’t look distinguished enough for a superspy environment. I’m going to look at the used clothing stores for a tux, but what other props/pieces of attire should I look for? I’m a pretty big guy, but a couple other guests already want to be Jaws. I was thinking I could get a bowler hat and be Oddjob from Goldfinger, but I’d have to figure out how to look Asian.

Anyhoo, here’s a pic of me for reference. The dog’s not coming.

2

Are you tall? You could get some fake teeth, paint them silver and go as Jaws.
Or get a suit and paint a toy gun gold and go as Scaramanga.

3

With some adjustment to your facial hair you could go as Topol’s character in For Your Eyes Only. Just a casual suit and a bag of pistachio nuts needed. He’s about two thirds down this page .

4

With some black hair dye and a haircut you could be Hugo Drax.

http://www.007.info/FFImages/MRVillainHugoDrax.jpg
Maybe you can find some rinse in rinse out dye, perhaps.

5

Well, you’ll need a wig, a shave, a boob job, a small weapon and a revealing outfit.

Also wothwhile are an icy facade, a willingness to sleep with Mr. Bond then try to kill him.

Then you have the choice of dying, or really joining his side.

6

Just carry a lighter and call yourself Felix.

7

If you dye your hair and beard black, and carry a fancy cane, you could go as Valentin Zukofsky, played by Robbie Coltrane in Goldeneye and The World is not Enough (he only has a beard in the latter).

8

Trim the goatee and go as Aristotle Kristatos.

9

Alternatively, you could get a toy white cat and go as Blofeld, Max von Sydow or Jan Werich version.

10

That’s an idea. Shoe polish could work for the hair.

Valentin Dmitrovich Zukovsky

11

Or do the dye and go as General Leonid Pushkin, head of the KGB in The Living Daylights.

If you don’t mind going clean-shaven, there’s Sheriff J.W. Pepper.

12

You could get several toy cats and go as Pussy Galore.

13

Do you have any gold paint?

14

Yeah, and my picture would get put on the Internets with the caption NEVER GETS LAID.

15

Heh, if this gets to be too annoying, I could just paint my finger gold and let that be it.

16

…or, you could rent a furry white costume with pointed ears and go as the cat.

17

Instead of stressing out over being someone specific why not just go as the archetype of the Bond Villain. Rent a stylish tux, get a distinctive feature or two, and just run with it. You could use a fez, monocle, eyepatch (not at the same time as the monocle presumably), carry your cigar for making dramatic pointing, if you don’t mind trimming your beard a little you’re well on your way to evil facial hair, etc. If anyone presses you say it’s from the new film that’s coming up. :slight_smile:

18

Or if you can get your hands on an orange coverall, you can be any one of an infinite number of generic henchmen from the Roger Moore era.

19

I was going to suggest going as Blofeld’s cat…

20

Or rent a tux, shave your face, practice ridiculous facial expressions, and go as the doomed Admiral Chuck Farrell from Goldeneye (key line: “Xenia, I can’t breathe!”).

You and your wife could be the life of the party if she bears any resemblance to Famke Janssen. :wink: