Help me make a Wal-Mart bingo card

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My wife and I are always amazed when we take the ocasional trip to our local Wal-Mart where we see the most amazing sights that one can only see at a Wal-Mart and often on every visit.
We decided it would be fun to make a bingo game for our Wal-Mart visits not unlike those travel bingo games. Instead of numbers in the squares there are observations that once observed can be checked off.
American bingo consists of 75 numbers so I’m trying to get 75 observations.

-Customer driving wrong way down a one-way parking aisle.
-McDonald’s bag someone dumped in the parking lot.
-Customer missing some front teeth.
-Employee missing some front teeth.
-A language other than English being spoken.
-Parent yelling out loud for their kid(s).
-Kid yelling out loud for their parent.
-Aisle that is impassable with a shopping cart.
-Customer walking with a limp.
-Greeter over the age of 70.

more…

2

I knew this list would come in handy.

May I present The Wal-Mart Game. :smiley:

3

Discarded diaper in parking lot
A broken item or spill
Dead fish
Dragon lady nails over the two-inch mark

4

Someone whose ass is wider than their shopping cart.

Wall-eye at the Wal-mart.

Hairy-chin Grandma.

5

Anyone speaking English (double points!)
Seeing someone dump stuff out of a cart and taking the cart.
Mullets

6

-Woman with more than 3 kids under 5.

-clothes sporting a rebel flag.

-fashions >10 years out of date.

-cart containing pork rinds, dukes of hazard merchandise, or chewing tobacco (extra if all three are present).

7

#3 car flags & assorted Dale Ernhardt memorabilia
Fe-mullets!

8

-Seeing walking stereotypes, such as a barefoot pregnant woman wearing coveralls, accompanied by her bearded, red-haired, wife-beater-wearing husband. Getting out of a pickup truck with confederate flag bumper stickers.

I have actually seen this.

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[ul]
[li]Used tissue or napkin left in shopping cart.[/li][li]Soft drink cup left in shopping cart.[/li][li]Shopping list left in shopping cart.[/li][li]Skid marks in or on public toilet.[/li][li]Bathroom out of toilet paper.[/li][li]Bathroom out of paper towels.[/li][li]Bathroom out of soap.[/li][li]Bathroom closed for maintenance.[/li][li]Desperate mother taking child into opposite-gender bathroom.[/li][li]Frozen food left in candy stand next to register.[/li][li]Security alert goes off for innocent customer.[/li][li]Security alert goes off for customer who walks on out of door.[/li][/ul]

10

Large person with unwashed once-white t-shirt on, drinking out of a 2L bottle of Mtn. Dew.

(saw it sadly twice, not the same person, though one was drinking Sprite)

11

Cart with a “gimpy” wheel
Car taking up more than one parking space
Car parked in handicapped space w/ no sticker, tag, or what have you
Zombie cashier
In that vein, the exact opposite: way too cheerful cashier
More than five people wildly rummaging through the $5 DVD bin
Someone having much more than ten items in the ten items or less lane
Very hairy man wearing a wifebeater

12
  • Family weight over 1000 lbs. (Could be 3 heavy people, or 12 skinny ones)
  • Person standing next to identically dressed mannequin. (Bonus for matching headgear)
  • Children riding bicycle/other toy in store. (Bonus if they crash)
  • Purchase of more than 250 lbs. of dog food. (Bonus if all “Ol’ Roy” brand)
  • Mob scene, e.g. last $29.98 DVD player at xmas. (Bonus if someone is knocked down)

Note that in Bingo, the center square is ‘free’. I nominate ‘Moron’ as the label for the center square, as that’s something found somewhere at every Wal-mart, every day.

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I think the center square should be an icon of Sam Walton spinning in his grave.

VCNJ~

14

Hey, I see those just going to work. And I don’t work at a Wal-Mart.
For my entry (applicable to Super Wal-Marts only):

More than three pieces of fruit or vegetables on the floor around the bin. 1 bonus point if you see someone pick it up off the floor and put it back.

15

– Aisles being blocked by pallets.
– Aisles being blocked by rope, but no work is being done to it.

16

  • female senior citizens carrying small, unwashed foo-foo dogs

  • children yelling “Diddy” instead of “Daddy”

  • the remains of a soda spill in the middle of an aisle that have turned black from foot traffic

  • (at a Super Wal-Mart) people encouraging their children to “graze” in the produce section

  • hearing someone in electronics giving a wildly inaccurate product description

  • women wearing pants several sizes too small and thong (or no) underwear, resulting in front and back wedgies

  • women wearing shorts cut so high up that you can see things hanging out of the front and the back

  • a sign posted over the condoms stating that prices have been “rolled back”

  • a man standing anywhere in the automotive department declaring “damn if I know” (bonus if it’s an employee)

  • spilled paint in the paint section

  • assorted drink vending machines featuring large pictures of NASCAR drivers

17

Obese woman using one of the store’s motorized wheelchairs.

Someone using the automotive checkout for more than 10 non-auto related purchases.

Baby wearing only a diaper.

Teen in stereo section cranking the rap music to 120 Decibels or beyond.

Someone pushing their cart down the middle of a parking isle, causing a pile-up of cars behind her.

One of the demo TVs on, but with horrible reception.

One of the demo computers displaying an error message.

18

Open bag of diapers in the baby section.

Person with a glazed expression sniffing all the candles in the candle aisle.

Person in the air freshenir aisle spritzing every. single. can into the air to see
what it smells like. Bonus points if it’s the candle-sniffer.

Huddled mass of at least 3 women, 3 carts, and 12 kids holding a coffee klatsch in the middle of the aisle.

Grimy-faced child eating lunch off the free sample trays.

Demo car stereo playing “Sweet Home Alabama.”

Pickup truck with rebel flag/naked lady mudflaps/peeing Calvin sticker/“Been loadin’, Bin Laden” sticker. Bonus if all four.

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You get 5 points if there is ANYONE working in the book section.

You get 3 points if you can get help from some one who works there -from the time you decide to look for someone- unless you see any two other bingo items before your task is completed.

7 Points if ALL of your items have the propper Price Tag/Sticker on the shelf it rests on.

10 points if you ask for an item- and the first person you ask goes STRAIGHT to the item and hands one of said item to you.

Ok… this might be the Bonus round… but still your gonna need something on your side to help you with these.

20

For the fashion section; score 1 point if you see anyone wearing:

  • Stirrup pants
  • Sweater or shirt with shoulder pads
  • Pyjama top or bottom
  • Any clothes with an obvious spaghetti stain
  • A hat advertising John Deere, Massey-Ferguson, or NASCAR
  • A heavy metal concert T-shirt; one additional point if it’s a hair metal band, like Poison or Ratt. Score another additional point if it’s for any band for a concert that happened over 15 years ago. Score one more point if it’s stained or torn.
  • A sweatshirt with applique beads
  • A sweatshirt airbrushed with any of the following: Horses, wolves, eagles, dolphins, dogs, cats, or the American flag.
  • Blue jeans and high heels at the same time (must be open toed high heels.)
  • A child wearing camouflage
  • A man wearing both a camouflage top AND bottom. 2 points if the man obviously wouldn’t be allowed into any army on the face of the earth.
  • A mullet AND a wifebeater (either alone is too common to score a point)
  • A little boy with no shirt on
  • A little boy with no shirt on and a father with no shirt on scores 10 points
  • Tight black jeans
  • A halter top and tight pants where the woman’s gut clearly sticks out more than two inches in horizontal bulge from the edge of the top
  • A shirt that has anything to do with bow hunting
  • Anything displaying the Stars and Bars
  • 10 extra points if you see someone wearing both Old Glory and the Stars and Bars at the same time