We live on a busy street where the cars get backed up during rush hour. It is not unusual to see people doing a bit of spring cleaning while they wait. Ashtrays are dumped, fast food bags and assorted other trash are tossed onto my lawn.
This weekend I cleaned up my flower beds. Among the candy wrappers and cigarette butts I found a wad of paper receipts. Looking them over, I discovered that they contained the litterbug’s address. My first thought was to stuff them into an envelope with a sarcastic note along the lines of, “I’m returning your papers to you, as I’m sure you would never be so rude as to intentionally leave them in my rose bushes.”
Then I noticed that, attached to the larger receipt, was a credit card slip with his card number, expiration date, and signature. Now, I would never actually do anything illegal with such information. But it occurs to me that it might be fun to scare him a little. I could include in my note a reminder that a less honest person than myself could have a lot of fun with another person’s credit card. Or I could have someone send an anonymous postcard from somewhere fun (Vegas?) telling him that his littered receipts had come in handy and thanking him for a great weekend.
I know there are some evil minds on this board (and I mean that in a good way. ) Anyone got any ideas?
I would simply mail it to him with a letter saying that his methods of garbage disposal was not only rude, illegal and inconsiderate, but that you (or anyone else walking by) could be in Vegas having fun at his expense because of it.
*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, one week, 12 hours, 18 minutes and 7 seconds.
7620 cigarettes not smoked, saving $952.56.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 5 days, 11 hours, 0 minutes.
You’ve got his name and credit card number and want to avoid illegalities hmmm <where’s my evil grin smiley>
For starters, post his address on the board and ask us to send evil, sordid postcards to his address.
Second, get his email address and start signing him up for spam like mad
Third, start mailing the trash people leave at your house to him.
then start mail his company’s finance guy the stuff he left, with an insulting note about claiming bogus expenses and how dumb his boss is for falling for it. Then make sure it actually goes to his boss.
Oh, and get his phone number and put up a personal ad in the back pages of your local weekly…
Hmm, cc-ing the police. I wonder if they would actually ticket him?
I’ve already scared off most of the dogwalkers who don’t scoop. When we first moved in I regularly called out, as they started to walk away, “I would appreciate it if you would clean up after your dog.” Most would look all huffy-“I was going to”, while frantically searching themselves for something to pick it up with. (I try to temper the crazy neighbor image by once in a while thanking the people who do scoop. Just in case I’m painting too scary a picture of myself here.)
Barbarian, I don’t want to match obnoxious behavior with obnoxious behavior, as tempting as that might be. I just want to scare him a little, make him think a bit about the possible consequences of his actions.
Not to be the party pooper here, but I would take caution on the scares about his credit card. What’s to stop him from making some outrageous purchase and claiming that you did it, having “threatened” him, evidence of which he would have in writing?
Forget about using your name if you send him a letter. In this day and age, this slob could probably come after you for any hiccup in his credit history because of your “perceived” threat to use his card. If ya follow.
However, messing with his mind anonymously, is too rich of a gem to pass up. You can mail him a post card from where ever ( Vegas is really good) by sending a stamped postcard in an envelope in care of the postmaster in Vegas (or where ever) with a sticky note on it stating that you would like the postcard mailed from there.
I do this every year at Xmas from places like Christmas or Hell Michigan.
I’m sure some of the out of town in more exotic locales dopers would be more than willing to send a blank postcard from their area to help you out. I’d offer one, but Michigan is not exotic or exciting.
Or you could get really drunk and call him on the phone ( using the blocker for *69, whatever the code is) and pretend you are at in Hawaii and that his act of littering and finding his credit card stuff inspired you to take 10 of your friends on an all expenses paid trip to Hilo.
Or, if you can do a decent veddy british accent, pretend you are from Scotland Yard and say that a serial killer has used your credit card number found in the garbage…
No wait! Send a postcard from hollywood, stating that you are funding your independant movie production on his credit card alone. Call it, " Coyote Ugly, Part Two: the Reckoning"
Take the trash that you cleaned up and dump it in his front yard. Make sure he’s home so that when he comes out to object, you can note that you found it and are just returning it (making him look for evidence to the contrary).
This would probably be most effective if you were to throuw it out your car window.
[short story]I was sitting in a fast food restaurant eating and facing the exit lane for the drive-thru. This guy pulls up after getting his stuff, and starts tossing garbage out the window…salt packets, bags, fry container, napkins…half the stuff he just got. It’s bad enough to throw this stuff out, but he was doing each piece individually. I started to get up to run out and pick up each piece and throw them back in his window with the statement that he dropped these and I’m returning them, but he drove away before I got to him. [/story]
I know this really isn’t funny, because I go thru the same thing living between a Junior high and a Senior high school, I get all kinds of things in my yard.
I actually called one kids parents to let them know that I had their childs report card. I watched the kid ditch it in my rose bush and new by the grades that it was one that a kid wouldn’t want the parents to see.
I wouldn’t have done anything except for it was one of those days when that was the last straw. He came by the next day after school and thanked me for “finding” it. Then I felt kinda bad for getting him in trouble.
But I really wanted to let you know that the op kinda made me giggle because I instantly thought of Alices’ Resturant. One of my all time favorite movies.
As far as I’m concerned, if he’s gonna dump his trash, including his credit card number, on your lawn, it is now in the public domain. Share it freely. Post a big sign on your lawn with the trash hanging in a bag. Write on the sign something like, “If your name is Joe Schmoe, MasterCard # 1234 567 891 2345, expiration date 9/01, come get this garbage you left on my lawn.”
What about using the CC to hire a barbershop quartet to come to his door and sing a song.
::short harmonica note in the key of C::
“ba ba ba bum
Well hello there Mr John Doe,
You’re really a schmoe
And I’m telling you, you have no cla-a-ass
I’ve got your credit card here
so sit down and have a beer
You’re broke and it will be your la-a-ast.”
