"Help me Obi Wan Belding, you're my last hope" and get a T-shirt: Screech related

So for the Dopers who are well off and charitable and just couldn’t get enough of SAVED BY THE BELL, here’s the chance to show your colors by getting your very own signed T-shirt for Screech and helping him save his house at the same time (handwritten vulgarities $5 extra). Full story.

I don’t understand the legal ramifications of this, but something about a “land contract” rather than a conventional mortgage has caused the actor to face foreclosure on a house he bought in Wisconsin unless he coughs up $250K in the next 40 days. He was on Howard Stern hawking these T shirts ($15 for a signed “I helped save Screech’s house” shirt and $20 for one with an expletive directed at a NYC financial counsellor he’s mad at). Weird.

Let’s see: Gary Coleman and Drew Barrymore’s mom hawked stuff on e-Bay, there’s supposedly an escort service that deals exclusively in faded celebrities, Leif Garrett will come DJ your party for about $3,000… which of these is the most pitiful, I wonder.

Maybe Mario Lopez can hook him up with a “Screeching Parrots” show on Animal Planet or Howard Stern can find $250K in the sofa cushion or Tobey Maguire will buy a few shirts as Christmas presents as thanks for performing Diamond on the SNL “Actor’s Studio” parody. (Doesn’t he get residuals or something? That show’s on everyday.)

Really more MPSIMS, but since it’s celebrity related I’ll put it in Cafe.