“Aardvaark, Aaron A. Aardvaark, Abe…”
I alphabetized the list, was gonna print it out, but realized I only had about ten reams of paper, won’t even get to “B”. Or not to “B”?..
Maybe they could get Garfunkel and Oates to do “Save the Rich”.
They could get a lineup of Republican Party bigwigs to do their “sit”, “roll over”, “beg”, etc routines in a literal performance-art sense.
Ted Cruz would look great jumping through a hoop!
Another flourish – a stage-magic act where you put a GOP apparatchiks sporting NeverTrump t-shirts and signs and, presto-chango, when the puff of smoke clears they’re all staring into space wearing made-in-China Trumpware and MAGA caps.
I fully expect the Bible he has to borrow for the oath will burst into flames when he touches it - no pyrotechnics required!!
Now, Universe, I know I haven’t been a very good pantheist. But if you could just give me this one sign…
Opening Act: Ted Nugent. Followed by The Beach Boy, with Mike Huckabee sitting in on bass. Several of the Rockettes dancing to an ABBA medley. Ted Nugent’s Greatest Hits, with special guest stars Kid Rock and Pat Boone. Special video presentation, Ted Nugent and surprise guest Sarah Palin bow-hunt, clean and dress a liberal. Encore will be demanded by audience, entire cast and crew sing “This Land Is My Land, This Land Is My Land” by Wood E. Guthry.
Trump: “Uh…what do you call that act?!”
Performer: “The Aristocrats!”
Try the Russian Bolshoi Ballet. I’m sure they would be happy to celebrate with their friend.
The Tabernacle is down one singer already: “I could never throw roses to Hitler.”
I read an article that Nickelback would be performing at the inauguration, but alas, it was a fake news story. For a few seconds I had a good laugh, though, before I found out it was fake.
Well, all I can say is Hallelujah!
That’ll be an extremely short set.
College marching band from Illinois to perform at Trump inaugural parade.
Olivet Nazarene University is theologically grounded in the Wesleyan tradition. Of course :smack:! I never thought of Trump as a Wesleyan but now, with this revelation, the scales have fallen from my eyes.
I want them to read Charlie Sheen’s latest tweet as the prayer at the inauguration.
*Dear God;
Trump next, please!
Trump next, please!
Trump next, please!
Trump next, please!
Trump next, please!
Trump next, please!
*
Kanye will sing a special new version of Gold Digger dedicated to Melania, this one ending with “Wait, I am saying that, but… that’s okay!”
The guy who played Puck on Glee and recently got arrested for possession of child porn might be available.
It would had shown that Donald wanted all to get used to torture…
Any artist would serve but certainly a spirited rendition of Hit The Road, Jack (And Don’t You Come Back No More) directed at the former President would make a suitable addition to the festive occasion.
Bite my ass, aldi.
That is…the most marvelous thing I have ever seen. I want that playing on an endless loop during my funeral service.