I’m a receptionist and on my desk there are 15 “IN” Folders with each individual cube farm worker’s name on them, for faxes etc. Every day he messes them up, pushes them on the floor, my desk etc. I’ve HAD IT and revenge will be mine. He shares a medium sized office with our dispatcher and I wanna get him.
What can I do? The more ideas the better. He has his own desk with computer and phone, but not much more.
He’s very fun and easy going. I usually get in an hour or so before he does, so it will have to be relatively quick and easy to set up.
A joke my dad used to play on his coworkers was to leave a note for them saying either Mr. Bayer or Mr. Lyon called and would like his call returned, then leave the number for the zoo. That way, the conversation would go like this:
Hi, I’d like to talk to Mr. Bayer please?
Mr. Bear?
Yeah, Mr. Bayer. Is he in?
Umm. He can’t talk right now. He’s eating.
Change the autocorrect settings (Tools->Autocorrect options) to replace ‘the’ with ‘Im a dickhead’ or something appropriate. Most people don’t know about autocorrect and he will think his PC has a virus.
If he is running Windows, start up his computer and get to the desktop. Make sure no programs are opened on the start bar, then hit the Print Screen button to take a screen capture of his desktop. Next, open Paint and paste the screen capture. Save the file in the same directory where all of the desktop background images are stored, then close paint and go back to the desktop. Now, right-click on the desktop, go to Arrange Icons -> Auto Arrange, and make sure that it is not checked. Using the mouse, drag across every icon on the desktop to highlight them all. Grabbing the lowest icon by its lowest corner, left-click and drag all of the icons upward until they are all the way off the screen. Now move the mouse over the start bar until the up/down arrow icon appears on the pointer, click and hold and drag down to hide the start bar completely. The desktop should be totally blank without any icons or the start bar. Finally, right click on the desktop and select Properties, then change the background to the previously saved screen capture image file you made.
This makes it look totally normal, but clicking on the “icons” now obviously does nothing. I’ve done this several times to people and I have never seen them figure it out yet.
But why are you going the semi-unprofessional route of pranking him over this?
Instead, you should demand that he not mess them up, or if he does, that he pickes them up and cleans up the mess. Everyone else in the office manages to do that. Even kindergartners learn to clean up the mess they make.
Next time this happens, as he starts to leave, say (in a loud, stern voice) “Get back here and clean up the mess you made!” And repeat it, in increasingly louder tones, until he does so. Or until the rest of the workers, or a manager who can order him to do so comes out to see what the noise is about. Stress that everyone else can pick up their messages without messing up everything.
Another option is for you to stop cleaning up his messes. When he messes up everyones folders, leave them that way. When the next employee is annoyed that the message folders are all messed up, tell that that x did it, and if they don’t like it, they should go complain to him (or his boss). But as long as you continue to clean up his messes after him, why should he bother to change?
Note that you are the one who is allowing this childish behavior to continue.
You’re right, I am allowing this to continue. This office is full of easy going, fun loving people who all genuinely like eachother and we all get along very well.
I would rather have fun, let the silliness continue than work in an office where no one can have fun.
I didn’t clean up the mess of folders yesterday, he came back and put them back, as he does every time he does something to them. He only does it because he knows it bugs me.
If you don’t wanna contribute, don’t come back into the thread.
Ill Logik
I took your advice. Man, he was confused. He made me a paper crown this morning and put Prank Queen on it. LOL
I did this to my sister and her husband, except I used a note to call L.C. DeCau, at the local dairy distributor.
Instead of changing the desktop on his PC, you could create a .wav file of three minutes of silence and make it his Start Windows sound.
What can you superglue to his desk?
The fact that he’s messing with your folders bothers me. Can you loosen whatever holds the files so that it falls apart when he touches it? You know, I’d get indignant if somebody just walked up and broke my filing rack.
You have to clean up his crap, then it will be arranged as you see fit. I suggest arranging the folders alphabetically by how they smell.
Perhaps placing the four legs of his desk on top of four smaller filing cabinets. Or better yet using the files he keeps dropping. Theyre on the floor anyway, might as well use them to keep his desk sitting off kilter.
Soaking the files in something flammable smelling might work too. Don’t set them on fire, just get them ready.
Subtle pranks are fun, but sometimes the outlandish is better.
Look, in the OP you presented this as an actual office problem to be dealt with. Apparently it’s not a problem at all, because your office is so easy-going and fun and carefree and prank-friendly, and in fact you just wanted to play a prank for the sake of playing a prank. Should have said so.
Collect all the punched-out paper bits from the office hole punchers. While he’s out, head for his desk. Put your confetti in a nice pile in the center drawer. Stretch a rubber band across the drawer, just behind the pile; attach it with paper clips or strong tape if necessary. In the middle of the band, place an index card, folded or cut to just the right size. Wind the card in the rubber band like a propeller (make sure you wind the correct way), and carefully shut the drawer. Then, wait for him to open it and unleash the blizzard!
Or, more simply, get some of those firecrackerish things that consist of two bits of string with a charge in the middle. You pull the strings apart, and the cracker goes off with a very loud BANG. Attach one or more of those to the inside of a desk drawer, attached nice and firmly so that they will detonate when opened.
I was going to say the same thing as Ill Logik, but here’s another, simpler computer thing. Put a piece of Scotch tape on the underside of his mouse, so the ball won’t roll. I don’t know if this will work with an optical mouse, but I’d assume it will at least make it not work quite properly.
If he takes sugar in his coffee, swap it for caustic soda*
You could adjust his chair tilt / height every day.
Fax him poems from the boss on company paper.
Fill in his P45 (Don’t know US version, it means you’re fired).
Phone from the company, put yourself on hold and transfer it to him many, many times a day (assuming it says ‘external call’ on his phone, and no *69 option).
Unplug his lamp / monitor - if he’s in a cubicle you could get to his sockets from another cubicle while he’s at his desk.
Leave condoms in his bin and grease up his desk a bit (butter would do).
Superglue something/someone/anything to his desk (ooh! some coins, or toast perhaps).
That’s good, but it might be better if it’s not so obvious. What I used to do at one of my old jobs was change the autocorrect function in subtle ways so that it wasn’t immediately noticeable. For instance, I’d remove the autocorrect function that changes “teh” to “the”, then add a function to change “the” to “teh”.
What words does this guy type on a regular basis? When I worked for a long-distance phone company, a lot of our documents used the abbreviation “cust” for “customer”. I once adjusted the autocorrect settings to change “cust” to “cunt”. It went unnoticed until the word “cunt” showed up about five times in an inter-office memo.
Can you get his keys? When I worked in motorcycles, we used to hide peoples bikes on a weekly basis. The best time was when we took the forklift and put a manager’s bike on top of the building. The sight of him pacing the parking lot with his bike a few yards overhead, demanding that we tell him where his bike was, was priceless.
Does your office use pagers? Our office used to have a few dead spots where pager reception fades out, so I once paged somebody with Hey, this is (Big Boss’s name). What in the fu%~##( &&id you do with#`^% They kept their cool… mostly.
&&id you do with#`^% They kept their cool… mostly.