Help me procrastinate, please.

You may have heard about the big storm in NE a week ago last Thursday. My yard is a disaster because, having recently moved here, I had a large pile of boxes and other “stuff” piled in back for “The Dump Guy” to come pick up. There’s no trash service here so you either have take it to the “transfer station” yourself (and that sooooooooo ain’t gonna happen) or hire “The Dump Guy” to do it for you. He was supposed to come last Friday but then Thursday night, a huge storm with driving rain and wind gusts up to 70 mph hit. So now my 1/2 acre yard is littered with soggy cardboard, packing peanuts, bubble wrap, assorted pieces of styrofoam, etc. Being as last weekend was still rainy and nasty and I don’t get home until after dark during the week, I’ve been able to put off cleaning up. I even tried to hire a neighbor kid to do it but no dice. (Feh. Kids these days.) Today it’s sunny and almost 50 and I can’t come up with any more excuses. And I think the neighbors are getting annoyed. I saw them gathering with torches and pitchforks last night. Although honestly I don’t know why they should be annoyed - it’s mostly contained by five foot cedar fence. Sure, a couple pieces of cardboard and a few packing peanuts have blown into the front yard but what’s that between neighbors?

Any suggestions on how to procrastinate further? You know, I really don’t think that I have the appropriate footwear for this kind of work. Maybe I could go shopping for some…

I’ll help you procrastinate when I get up the gumption to do something…anything…

www.stumbleupon.com

Good, you can help me procrastinate on my taxes. I really don’t know why I am, I’m going to get a huge chunk of money.

I know what you need to do. Back in a tick…

Well, I’ve found appropriate footwear so that’s out…

Sounds like you could have a hazardous materials situation there. Better call the Authorities and have them check it out.

There’s an idea!

I think I probably need sustenance before tackling such an immense project. Hmmm, what should I eat first…

Look! Shiny!

This and this will absorb your interest in doing anything else. That, and the cute animals will melt your mind. Either way, helps the process of procrastination.

Well, I’ve been fed and watered and am appropriately dressed and shod. I have looked at the cute animals in Bayesian’s link (although that Bishon in the link at the bottom looks plain evil) and can’t think of anything else to delay the yard work from hell. To top it off, all the neighbors are out working industriously in their yards and shooting evil looks over at mine.

Sigh.