My parents are having some financial difficulties right now, and every time I hear about them, it makes me physically ill. My brother just told me that they made an accounting error and overdrew their checking account by a not-insignificant amount. The two of us can bail them out of this problem without difficulty, so that in itself isn’t a big deal, but they’re also heavily in debt, and we can’t really come up with that money.
I know it’s not as big a deal as my mind keeps making it out to be. Their business makes respectable money; my mom has a good paying job, and it’s not like they’re about to starve to death. In fact, they’re talking about replacing their cable modem and cable TV service with DSL and DISH, so they aren’t even having to get rid of their luxuries yet.
It’s funny; we were very poor when I was growing up, and I don’t feel like I was particularly deprived. It’s not like this is the first time they’ve weathered tough times. It’s just that whenever I hear they’re worried about something like this, I get sick to my stomach and can’t stop thinking about it.
Writing this out helps, but if anyone has some “This, too, shall pass,” words of wisdom, I’d love to hear it. You guys were great help a few years ago when my mom was in a near-fatal car accident.
This too shall pass DeadlyAccurate. My wife and I were in a similar predicament a few years back. We were fortunate enough to bail my mother out of some serious financial problems. She was living on a fixed income and we found that fixed bills she had over the years had gone up, and under my moms radar. We quickly called the institutions she was owning money to, and zeroed her out on all of those bills. Spoke with several managers and made sure the direct deposit they were going to take monthly was with-in her means. I still keep an eye on them from time to time. But the best thing we did was to make sure we (my wife and I ) were listed as parties who could make changes to her various accounts.
You are not alone, but a sit down with the folks may be warrented. Do you and your siblings have a good enough relationship with your folks to do this?
When our parents age, it can be difficult to accept certain things that were never a factor before. And when our parents (the people who raised us) are having difficulty it can be hard to deal with.
Your parents *refuse *to operate fiscally sound. Nothing you do will change this fact. They will pull your two down with them as they go down with the ship.
On the other hand, maybe they are in worst straits, financially, that they are letting you guys know. They probably need more help than you know if they keep getting into trouble. Don’t let their pride interfere with you giving them the help they need to maintain their lifestyle. They last thing you want is to have them move in with you when their business goes belly up.
Well, if you want more random opinions, then I would say that if you’re really that worried about it, sit down with them and do an accounting of their income, their expenses, and get them to cut back on their spending if the two don’t meet. How much do they have saved for retirement? Or are they at a negative net worth? If it’s the latter, seeing how both are approaching old age soon given that they have an adult child, it is really, really about time to speak with a financial adivsor immediately.