Years ago you all helped me with my son. I am asking your help again. His father has not contacted him since 1996 ad he has had no male role models. He has two sisters who are both on their own.
My 24 year old son makes $94,000 a year in a business he runs out of one store. He puts all the money back into it.
I am a single mother who is unemployed, going back to school and rented out three rooms in her house to strangers to pay for her to survive. I have struggled alone for 22 years to keep this house and raise them. I feel he is old enough now to get a place of his own or at least pay for himself.
He feels he should not have to pay $10 a night to sleep here, watch tv, and shower…
We have a deal.
A) If you believe that he should pay me, he will pay me for what he owes me.
B) If you feel that I should support him while he builds his business then I will let him stay.
I am trying to reason with him and help him learn what responsibility is. He does not think he should even do chores around the house.
He wanted me to add this.
IN his words
I am a 24 year old recent graduate of a phlebotomy program and working on my nursing degree. I make $94000 gross income on a side business I started two years ago reselling electronics that I fixed to have some extra money while I was going to college and now I’m acquiring a $100000 business loan to further my venture. My mother feels as though i am irresponsible and “sucking off her”. I feel that I should not have to pay rent if my landlord is uncouth and have no problem moving out. Now I don’t want any of you to look at this as “oh it’s just a spoiled kid” I have repeatedly told her I have no problem paying rent but would greatly appreciate it if she could support me until I have 2-3 stores as I have one I’m supporting myself on at the moment. There are many details I have left out because I was told that the thread I was posting on doesn’t allow for many characters. Please help us decide!
I know far too many people who put themselves through college, working full time and living on their own, with no parental help, to have any sympathy for someone who doesn’t want to.
If you’re living with a parent rent-free, you’re not supporting yourself. Pay your mom rent and do some of the household chores, or pay someone else rent and do all the household chores, your choice.
IMHO (shouldn’t that be the forum for this?), paying rent seems reasonable (and helping keep the house clean seems absolutely mandatory), BUT the mother’s attitude of “teaching her son a lesson” is unhelpful. I can see why a 20-something man who is obviously responsible, focused, and energetic enough to run a business, etc. would bristle with resentment were his mother to enter into anything with the goal of “teaching him something.” In his mind, the time for all that has passed, and he’s (mostly) right.
I’d say make it a serious, businesslike transaction (rental contract and all) with a monthly, rather than a daily, rate.
This is her son! How are all of you doing on this beautiful Tuesday morning?
Hi SeaDragon,
That’s all well and good that you know people that do those 3 things without parental help. Now my scenario is much different on the other hand, I put roughly $5000 monthly back in my business and am responsible for 2 employees and 2 contracted employees. To be frank and not to insult I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for a solution to a mother and son issue in which I think she is in a position to help and provide flexibility so I can further a business so I can in turn provide the security she deserves in her later years.
Wah wah. Your mother isn’t asking that much from you. It’s not going to break your bank to pay a nominal fee for your upkeep. If you can’t be arsed to at least do house chores, at least throw her a few bucks to pay for the food you eat and the toliet paper you use. She shouldn’t even have to ask you.
There’s always a bigger mountain to climb. After you’ve expanded your business as far as it will go, you’ll want to save up for a wife and family. Then you’ll have your eye on a house, another car, and private school tuition. College. Which is all well and good, but these are your dreams. Not your mother’s. So you shouldn’t be riding on her back to fulfill them.
Man up, and do the right thing by paying your mother rent. You should contribute to the utility bills, and food bills, as well. You’re a grown man. Act like one!
Ten bucks a night, so $300 a month. Given that shared space was going for $200-$300/month back when I was in school 15 years ago, I rather doubt the son is going to move out and find a better deal.
It’s honestly not a “wah wah” scenario. I understand where my mother is coming from but she just doesn’t know how to express it and this thread was the first sane thing she suggested so I agreed. Although I agree with that there is always a bigger mountain to climb, but in the words of Marvin Gaye, there aint no mountain high enough. I actually have a stringent business budget that accounts for my immediate and necessary expenses.
For the sake of repeating myself, I have no problem paying her I just would like the flexibility as you said to give her as much money as I can which I already have been doing.
I started paying my parents ‘board’ money whilst I was still in higher education. It was much less than market rents, but designed to help cover food/power/gas, etc.
Not only do I think you should be paying your way, you should also be contributing to household chores. That’s what any decent human being would do, if they were living in someone else’s house. Geez, when I have house guests stay for a couple of weeks, they will do their share of the dishes, laundry, etc.
To add to the details that I left out. I originally started this business with her because her knowledge and skill based was firmly planted in the things I needde to start up, but the whole money scenario went sour once again. Mostly because myself I admit. Since I started up the business I bought her a phone and a plan along with my employees and have been paying that monthly along with giving her as much money as I could.
Are you planning on ignoring all the responses that you weren’t waiting for? Paying rent is the right thing to do here. You’re 24, start acting like an adult.
Yeah, do this. Paying your mother rent is the second best option, but then she’s still in the unfortunate position of having to live with you- and on this messageboard we are not allowed to wish harm on another poster, so I can’t vote for that option.
Move out.
To the mother, you have a responsibility for supporting your children until they reach adulthood (generally regarded as 18). Past that, it’s up to you. If you want to charge him rent, that’s your right. Heck, if you want to throw him out unconditionally, that’s your right, too.
Rent and food surely qualify as “immediate and necessary expenses”.
It’s confusing trying to work out whether it is the mother or son replying, and given the topic under discussion, you’re not doing yourself any favours by “using mommy’s account”.
