Rights must be earned. Just about all of your posts that I’ve read sound like they’re written by a very young teenager, with little consideration for others.
First, if you’re pulling in Cs, you’re an AVERAGE student at best. A GOOD student only brings home As and Bs. I might allow a C in PE, art, or music, and still call a student a good student, but everything else should be As and Bs, unless you’re taking AP courses and you’re outclassed. Generally, a student brings home Cs because he’s lazy. Ds and Fs are pretty much inexcusable, unless the student has an unaddressed learning disability.
Did you pay for all of these things directly? Or did Mom buy these things, and you are assuming that your paycheck is making the difference?
In the real world, if you rent, your landlord WILL tell you to keep the place clean if you’re not doing so. Doesn’t matter how old you are. Even if you own your own home free and clear, the Health Department WILL get after you if it’s too messy. If you don’t clean stuff up, you’ll get evicted if you rent, or the city will send in a cleaning crew and stick you with the bill if you own your home.
As for the CDs…aren’t you the guy who bragged about blasting your sound system in your car? Do you do that at home? Has your mom asked you to keep down the noise, and you don’t? IF that’s happened, then she’s justified, in my opinion, in throwing out your CDs, because you’re not respecting HER rights to an enjoyable home. Also, I know that you download stuff off of Kazaa. She’s perfectly justified in pitching out CDs of pirated music. It’s illegal, and you have no right to have illegal stuff in her home. For that matter, you don’t have a right to have illegal stuff in your own home, either. But since it’s HER home, she can face legal penalties for having pirated music in her home. Also, if these CDs are inappropriate for your younger brother to listen to, she has a responsibility to keep them out of his hands. If these CDs are legitimate copies, but are filled with lyrics calling women bitches and hos, or filled with foul language, the two of you need to talk about what’s acceptable in her home.
IF your CDs are legitimate copies of PG or PG-13 material, then no, she shouldn’t be throwing them out. And she shouldn’t be borrowing your VCR without your permission, either…assuming it’s really your VCR, and not the family VCR that you habitually keep in your room.
What sort of stuff is being taken down off of your walls? Is it obscene or extremely objectionable? If you’re hanging porn on your walls, in front of your little brother, then you’re doing wrong.
The sleeping in late/letting brother sleep early/having friends over/curfew all come under the heading of respecting others’ rights. You seem to think that you should be able to do what YOU want, without regarding what others need or want. Have your friends come over late at night and kicked up a lot of noise? Do they make a habit of this? Is it hard to get them to go home (or at least out of the house) before 9 or 10 PM? If life is so hard at your house, why don’t you go visit your friends?
Why should your brother move in with your other brother? You MIGHT be able to convince your mom to let you have the smaller of the two bedrooms for yourself. Maybe. If you are trustworthy in other ways. Same goes for a lock on the door. If you’ve EVER been in legal trouble, or if you’ve EVER done any drugs or drinking, then you don’t get a lock on the door.
As for the computer…did your mother or parents want all that stuff on the computer? For my first real computer, my husband loaded all sorts of utilities in it, and then was amazed that I wasn’t really grateful. I didn’t really want or need all that stuff on my computer, and I had a devil of a time cleaning it out. Did you put all that stuff on the computer for other people, or for you? Let’s be honest here. And again, since you’re using Kazaa, you’ve put spyware on that computer. Kazaa won’t work if you delete the spyware. Why should you have priority? Just because you want it? Let the younger kids do their thing earlier in the evening, and then you get your turn. It might be a real good idea to make out a schedule and write it down so everyone will know that they have x amount of time, and can plan their activities on the computer.
You and your mom need to sit down and talk to each other. Right now, I bet that you’re either yelling at each other or giving each other the silent treatment. You might write up a list of stuff that you want, in order of priority. However, she might have different priorities than you do. You’ll have to negotiate. For instance, you MIGHT get a room of your own, with maybe a locking cabinet, IF you bring your grades up AND you keep that room spotless. She should be agreeable to not pitching your belongings in the trash IF they are kept neatly stowed away, and they’re legitimate recordings that are not X rated. You might ask for exclusive rights to the computer between 9 and 11 PM every night, and your brothers will have to do their computing earlier in the evening, for example. I don’t guarantee that you’ll get everything you want, but having stuff written down makes a big difference.
