Help me tease a 13 year old boy for Christmas

Our family is doing gag or joke gifts for Christmas this year. I drew my 13 year old nephew. Due to my busy schedule and more importantly my lack of creativity, I find myself in a desperate way in this 25th hour.

My leading idea is to do a ‘How To Date For Dummies’ book as he is starting to show an interest in girls. I’m trying to think back on all of the funny things about teen dating and am only remembering the difficulties. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Other candidates would be his braces wearing, his love of sweets or his love of video games.

Original ideas, stolen ideas and links are all welcome.

I don’t have any suggestions, but I think you should reconsider the “Dating for Dummies” idea. That could be a bit cruel to give a boy that age.

Oh, I don’t know. If he expressed an interest and he will be with close family it shouldn’t be a problem. Isn’t that the point of joke gifting? Maybe the OP could shed some light on the family dynamics.

Dating for Dummies might be a little harsh for a 13 year old.

Thinking back on successful teasing gifts – a used oil filter, a roll of bubble wrap (that one kind of backfired. Every one in the extended family but the giver LOVEs popping bubble wrap), the latest greatest Little Kid toy (I got a Lite-bright last year ;)), the latest greatest cheap Big Kid doodad, underwear, 3 walnuts one orange and a lump of (licorce) coal, old people candy (circus peanuts, anyone?), fuzzy socks, a black-light flocked unicorn poster and markers, any toddler toy, or a box of brightly colored toothpicks.

Do you know the kid at all? If he’s geeky, a Windows for Dummies or if he’s athletic, a <favorite sport> for Dummies would work. If he is articulate and bookish, perhaps a Jeff Foxworthy-ish book. If he hunts, maybe a Vegetarian Recipe of the Day calendar.

Joke gifts are hard. The gift must vaguely reflect a slightly skewed version of reality without hitting too close to home.

Like several others, I think, at best, Dating for Dummies will end up being rather awkward.

Buy the book, and if you’re artsy, fashion some sort of syringe (not real of course) and tell him it’s for “cootie” shots.

This is more of what I was thinking about.

To be a bit more clear, I need to make this gift (I don’t even know if there is a dating for dummies book). Yes, I know him fairly well. I wish it were as easy as buying a white elephant gift. I need to craft this gift to him specifically. It’s kind of an honor in this family to be the most embarrassed by your gift. I was thinking more of a list of things (like cooties) that the “book” would warn/prepare him for. But if that’s still a no-go, like I said I’m open to other ideas.

Find someone who is willing to give you the case for a popular video game. Put an Andes mint or similar thin chocolate in it. Do the box-in-a-box-in-a-box wrapping thing.

Oh, yes, get the book. Unless he’s a very easily embarrassed boy, he’ll get it and like it.

Tenth post and no one has suggested a prostitute? What has the world come to?

Make a very crude worst-case scenario sort of book, maybe a few pages long about Little “insert name” and his adventures in courting.

…perhaps with some protection (based purely on the maturity of said child and openness of parents.)

I was just about to suggest a bottle of hand lotion and a roll of toilet paper…

You mean a knife?

A stuffed Dora the Explorer doll inside an otherwise empty PS3 box

Hannah Montana CD

Subscription to Playboy

Not that kind of protection…

… use my gun.
[sup]rimshot[/sup]

Ooh, I like those suggestions!

Whatever you do, don’t do what these people did and give him an XBox360 box full of clothes. That’s just downright cruel.

ETA: Wow, I missed this:

Really. Do not do this. There is a prohibition on cruel and unusual punishment in our Constitution for a reason. Watch the above video - the kid ends up in tears. You’d have to be extremely sadistic to get pleasure out of that.

Yeah, that’s more “torture” than it is “tease”.

Stick with the Playboy. Or Japanese tentacle porn videos (no! I’m kidding about that one too)

How about a Playboy with big black bars across the good bits, you can tell him his mom checked over the gift first?

NO gifts inside video game boxes. Even if he knows it’s a gag it’s kinda mean all the same.

If you’re still going with the dating thing, how about a series of boxes inside boxes with things like cologne, disposable razor, perhaps a book on, I’m going to call it 'dating manners" for lack of a better phrase; stuff like that…all wrapped individually and tied together with string so you pull one box out at a time…