I happen to be a person who is not especially fond of children, and I never have been. I never wanted them, ever. But I also don’t really like them much. Some I like more than others, some I care very much about, but generally…not my favorite version of human being.
This morning I had what felt very much like an epiphany regarding this attitude and where it might come from. Thinking about the 3 other people in my life that also do not care for children very much, I found that my epiphany was holding true for them, as well.
So now let me ask a larger audience- thinking about people you know who don’t much like kids: did they have a particularly tough childhood socially? In other words, is it fair to say of these adults that they didn’t much like kids when they were kids themselves, and kids didn’t much like them, either? Because that was certainly my own experience. Yes, I had a friend or two, but overall I was very much an outsider, ostracized by the larger group for an ever-expanding list of reasons:my height, my brain, my weight, whatever. I had a particularly rough time. Kids were not very nice to me. I preferred older people, who thought I was great.
And now here I am, a middle-aged woman, and I have never liked kids as an adult, either. The 3 other people I thought of who don’t like kids had the same experience as I did as kids.
Have I hit on something here?
(This is distinct from not wanting to have children, by the way. I think lots of people decide they don’t want to raise kids because of extreme dysfunction in their family dynamics that leaves its mark, I qualify here as well. But often such people have relatively satisfying and successful connections with other children, and therefore don’t actually dislike kids in any way.)
I had kind of a rough childhood and had a relatively small group of friends. But I don’t know if I would necessarily draw a correlation.
Most of my crowd consists of folks who are similarly child-free, but as far as I know their childhoods weren’t too bad. In fact, the one who had the absolutely worst childhood is the one with the most kids.
You may very well be onto something… I was a social outcast as a kid, too, and I just don’t care for them to this day. There are some individual kids that I can tolerate, and even enjoy on occasion… but as a rule, I’d rather not, thank you.
Yep, my experience mirrors yours, Stoid. Of course, I didn’t like adults much when I was a kid either. Still don’t. But they’re usually better than kids, anyway.
I’m not a fan of kids, although I can’t say I dislike them.
I had an okay childhood with no major traumas. I was never a social outcast and like other kids fine when I was one. However, I don’t idealize my childhood. It wasn’t the best time of my life. I don’t think of it as “a time of innocence.” It was more a time of ignorance and fewer responsibilities. It was fun and all, but I like being an adult better.
I don’t like kids much. I’m only 20, but I have a hard time remembering exactly what it was like to be a little kid. If I ever have a kid, it will be adoption and not of a baby. Some kids are okay, but some are pretty horrible. I like my little cousins and some of my friends’ little siblings or nephews/nieces.
I had a good childhood. I got made fun of like everyone else, but I had a lot of good friends. I was just a tall girl with glasses and gap teeth. So of course other kids would make fun of me. It sucked, but I always had friends to back me up.
I’ve never liked kids, even when I was one. The repetitious jokes, the giggling, and the endless war for popularity . . . I’d just shake my head and go back to my book.
Wow. That sounds almost like a mirror image of my own childhood. Ostricised by other kids, pegged as a geek, nerd, a brainer, whatever. Mercilessly teased by my height (5’5" presently) or my (lack of) social status or whatever else the kids could pick up on. The few friends I did have were largely cut from the same cloth. And no, I’m not particularly fond of kids. I can so see myself becoming the crotchety Get Of My Lawn old man. Hell, I look at most kids right now and can’t help thinking to myself, “I couldn’t have been that much of a dick.” Though I probably was, if maybe in different ways. (I had emotional issues and lashed out frequently in my pre-teen years, projecting a lot of my own problems and insecurities on others)
You’ve described my situation pretty well, too. I got a rough time from other kids and never learned to like them much when I was a kid. I liked adults better; they would at least talk to me. I like being an adult much better.
My childhood wasn’t delightful, but that was more about family dynamics than anything going on with my peers, with whom I generally got along pretty well. I don’t dislike kids, but I’m not particularly kidcentric either. (I don’t really get “I love kids” any more than I get “I love people” or “I love dogs” or “I love [any way generic group],” but that’s just me. Any group, there’s gonna be some members I like and some members I don’t, I’m not gonna generalize about it.)
It could be hormones. I had friends as a child, but was considered ugly. I never liked kids, til i had one. Then the hormones kick in, and now I think they are great.
Another miserable, friendless childhood checking in. I never wanted to have kids, either, only I thought it was primarily because I didn’t want to re-experience those years through my children’s eyes.
However, I can’t say I shared your dislike of children in general. I’ve got a major playful streak, and as an adult have enjoyed interacting with kids in various work settings; helping the Children’s Librarian was especially fun.
Now that I’m a parent, though, I’m back to looking at them a little askance - particularly the ones who shove my kids at PlayLand.
I didn’t really like kids, as a group, when I was a kid. I had friends but taken as a whole kids kind of annoyed and perplexed me. (I don’t know how I would rate my childhood socially; it wasn’t great but I recognize now that a lot of my problems were of my own making, or were well within my power to fix or at least ameliorate. It certainly wasn’t as bad as some peoples stories I have heard.)
Now that I am older I generally feel the same way, I have trouble relating to kids as a species.
Not my own son, my nieces and nephews, and some of my son’s friends however.