Help me! The car won't start!

I put the keys in the ignition, turned…nothing… no noise. Silence.
Dead battery?

So I hook up the other car, (yes I know how to properly Boost a car!) And wait some time.

Still nothing.
Try the portable battery charger.

still nothing…

Suggestions?
I havea bad feeling that is sparkplugs, but I am not sure.

Please give me some suggestions to help me out.

Thanks!

Can you turn your parking lights on? If there is absolutely no sign of power, I’d suspect a dirty or corroded batter connector. It’s not spark plugs, it’s definitely something in the primary electrical system. If you can turn your lights on but still get no clicking and the engine won’t crank, it may be a starter problem. Try hitting it (not TOO hard) with a hammer a couple times; it might have a dead spot in it, and this sometimes helps.

It’s not your sparkplugs.

You get nothing at all when you turn the key? Do the lights on the dash come on when you turn it to the run position? Do they dim when you turn it to start, like it’s even trying to do something?

What is the make, model, and year?

Unless every one of your sparkplugs is completely shot to hell, you would still hear the starter turning. Also, spark plugs are some of the easiest and cheapest parts to replace in a car, so I’m not sure why you fear dead spark plugs.

Since absolutely nothing is happening it is likely either an ignition component or a starter component.

Show me a car that wouldn’t crank even with all the spark plugs removed and I’ll eat it. Except the oil rings. Those things are nasty.

Of course, it would help to know the make, model and year, too.

Define “nothing.”

Seriously, in a case like this, certain details are critical. By nothing, do you mean absolutely nothing? No instrument cluster warning lights? If that’s the case, I would also expect that none of the exterior lights work, either–in fact, nothing electrical. If this is what you have, and it doesn’t change with a booster battery, there’s a major open circuit (like having the battery disconnected), most likely related to a battery cable or its connections.

Now, if your headlights are bright, the battery is not dead nor disconnected. In this case, I would expect that the instrument cluster warning lights come on when the key is turned to the “on” position. Some of those lights are usually also on when the key is turned to the “start” position. If this is what you have, it sounds like a problem in the starting system. It could be in the ignition switch, the clutch start switch (if a manual transmission) or neutral safety switch (if an automatic transmission), or the starter. Testing is required to sort out which.

If it is an automatic, make sure it is in park or neutral, try both of those positions, and wiggle the shift lever a bit to see if that might get it to crank and start.

A precise, complete description of what does and doesn’t happen will help us to close in on the problem.

Ok, so we charged up the battery a bit and got nothing. Left, came back, hooked up the charger and for some reason we got power. So, the dash lights are on, but dim and the emergency lights are dim as well. Still no starter noises.
Its a 92’ GMC Safari.
Thanks for all the replies so far.

VROOOMMMMM,
Thats right ladies and gentlemen, we have ignition. All it needed was power, time, and a few swift kicks. Thanks for the help regardless.
Still not sure why it wasn’t charging up before. Any thoughts?

How old is the battery? You should get another one, either that or you left something on all night, like the door open light.