I have been meditating off and on for about five years now… I say off and on because I need to take a break every once in a while. Jokes. Aaaanyway, I never really have figured out if I am doing it right. I have read sooo much literature on meditation… sit up straight, sit in your favorite chair, relax, concentrate on breathing, think about your spine, think of the end of your nose, concentrate on the middle part of your forehead, ask for Kundalini, think of your head as a lotus flower, envision sitting on a beach, ask specific questions, imagine a cloud enveloping you, clear your head completely… AHHHH ENOUGH!! I feel like I am being coached in golf again. Do all this stuff! RELAX DAMMIT! Okay, so what do you guys do?
Question: When I do meditate (I try to clear my head completely), and when it seems to be “working,” I sometimes feel as if I am sitting up and laying down really quickly over and over. I sometimes feel like I am growing very rapidly, and when this happens my body feels very curved and strange. What do you make of this? Obivously I can’t explain it very well because there are not words (that I know) that can explain this feeling.
There was one time in meditation, I was using a program called Brainwave Generator, when I came to a white strip of light. I sat on the edge and thought about what it was for a while, and then I jumped in. White light surrounded me, I thought I was being born… weird… Then I felt this rush of pure ecstacy throughout my entire body, it scared the shit out of me at the time, so I had to stop. Then I read later about Kundalini and thought I had missed out on something… I have NEVER successfully had the feeling come back.
Also, I have always had this ability to produce a feeling in my hips (similar to the feeling in the previous paragraph but not nearly as strong) that quickly spreads all over my body. It feels as if I were very young again and really excited about something, like Christmas is tomorrow… weeee. I have tried to work this feeling out like it was a muscle in hopes that it would eventually grow stronger, and in some ways it has. I can keep it long enough to where I almost orgasm… fun, but I will keep myself from going all the way… seems like I shouldn’t abuse a “gift.” I don’t know what to make of it though. I can sometimes share the gift too… I have one friend that I can make really hyper when I provoke the feeling around her. It’s kind of amusing. I’ve never told her about it because I have tried to tell other people and they just stare blankly. They think I am crazy. Also, I don’t want to lose the connection with her, so I keep my mouth shut.
You might think I am crazy, too… I have almost given up on meditating because there is no one around here that likes to talk about this sort of thing. Then I remembered Straight Dope, HIZZAH!! So I am hoping for some guidance. I hope someone out there is caring enough to lead me a bit and maybe try to answer some of these (silly?) questions. If you would like to talk about it over email, that would be cool, too.