This is why Karana created football. During the holidays, there’s pretty much always a game on, or one that just ended, or one about to start.
I do something similar to this,but I add a small twist.
One way to get out of looking like you’re obviously annoyed at the way the conversation is going is to switch the topic, but keep the same emotion that’s been going on (outrage, or enthusiasm, or whatever.) That way, people don’t feel like they’ve been pushed aside or chided for their views, and everyone feels at least a little included in a shared emotion. You don’t get the satisfaction of telling the other person how much you disagree, but you do get to avoid listening to total bilge all evening. And, usually, everyone feels at least a little better about everyone else by the time people are packing up to go home.
Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.
Insane Relative (IR): Can you believe that people actually voted to legalize gay marriage!? What is this country coming to?!
You: Well, I’ll tell you what really makes me angry–have you seen the way small businesses have been run out by giant megacorps? What happens to all those guys who used to have their own hardware stores, or groceries, or shoe places? Now they have to work for someone else?! (This will work only if you honestly believe that what you’ve mentioned is a problem, and you think that others at the table would empathize at least a little. It would also work if you think your comment will spark a lively, but ultimately harmless, debate. All the “itchin’ for a fight” energy that gets worked up by the IR gets channeled into something that doesn’t totally drive you batty.)
Or, you could say,
Hey, when I think of things going wrong in America–I see tons of them right here, outside my window. Look at this terrible way we’re turning all our fields into buildings all the time! It used to be that I could walk past wildflowers when I went around the block, feel a cool summer breeze on my face–now it’s all asphalt and honking cars and exhaust fumes!
Ultimately, yes, you’ve changed the topic. But you’ve changed it in such a way that the overall theme–discontent with how things are going and a longing for our notion of the way things used to be–is preserved.
Here’s another example:
IR: I just love it when I know that, because of me, someone’s left off their evil ways of atheism or false religion and accepted Christ as their savior! Doesn’t that just warm your heart?
You: Yeah, I love knowing when I’ve done someone a good turn, or when I see someone else doing something good and charitable. I think that maybe some little bit of good got added to the world. Why, just the other day, when I was starting to wonder what was to become of all of us, I saw the nicest thing…(add quick, heartwarming anecdote. Make it cute, if at all possible. If you want, you could make it an anecdote about some obviously non-Christian person doing something genuinely good, or you could make it an anecdote about someone defending a victim of religious intolerance. Though, when I think of it, I have trouble thinking of how you’d make a story about fending off prejudice or bigotry cute.)
I think you get the idea.
This technique won’t work for all situations. Anyone who’s hell-bent on preaching isn’t going to be dissuaded by a little redirection. But when it works, it works well. Chances are your relatives are as sensitive about the differences they have with you as you are. Like you, all they want, usually, is a peaceful holiday that’s as happy as possible, so they’ll be more than content to latch onto something you say that they can agree with.
Hmm. I was going to say Nog but I’ve got some Ativan at home too. I don’t see my blood relatives over the holidays, but one of the friends I eat with doesn’t hide her espousement of the pro-choice cause. Maybe she assumes all women feel that way, but I have to just brace myself and usually sidle out of the room.