Help the US military more effective wager psychological warfare: pick the music

The scenario: One of Osama bin Laden’s most trusted henchmen is holed up in an Afghanistan cave and won’t come out. The US military, believing he has valuable information, doesn’t want to kill him–not just yet.

As a trusted (and highly paid) Pentagon consultant, you’ve been asked to design a psychological warfare operation that will drive the SOB out of the cave and begging to be taken prisoner.

Your job: pick the music line-up that will weaken his resistance, play with his mind, and ultimately break him. Real albums or no, the choice is yours.
Carnac’s Magic Pix (I suck but will give it a whirl):

  1. Debbie Boone “You Light Up My Life”
  2. “American Idol Goes Disco, Volume 5”
  3. Kenny G and Michael Bolton: Duets
  4. Anything by KC and the Sunshine Band
  5. The Monkeys Unplugged
    Your turn. :stuck_out_tongue:

Help the US military more effectively wage psychological warfare: pick the music


That’d have me surrendering in seconds.
Although it’s great fun, I suspect the Beach Boys Pet Sounds would be pretty unbearable on the seventy-second consecutive hearing.

And maybe specially prepared looped tapes, to take you through the classic crooner gear-change modulations, over and over and over again.

Anything by Don “No Soul” Simmons. Yup, that’d do it.

It’s A Small World
After Aaaalll,
It’s A Small World
After Aaaalll,
It’s A Small World
After Aaaalll,
It’s a Small, Small world…

“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
and they’re like, it’s better than yours
hell right, it’s better than yours
I could teach you, but I’d have to charge.”

I actually liked this song the first time I heard it. It’s good in small doses. But I think it would become a very dangerous psychological weapon after the fiftieth straight replay.

Also, “Chopsticks.”

Believe by Cher.

Re-read the OP - he said the military doesn’t want to kill him yet.


This is the song that never ends…
It just goes on and on, my friend…

You might as well break out the “big guns”, the Bee Gee’s “Shadow Dancing” on repeat should be VERY effective.


Today’s Billboard Top 40 Tracks.

“Drops of Jupiter” by Train.

The 97th time he hears those guys babble about fried chicken and soy lattes, he’ll be compelled to run out of the cave with an axe and smash the speakers to bits.

Just be ready with a tazer or something and you’re all set.


Put on a rotation of Khanate’s Things Viral, Merzbow’s 1930, Ulver’s Nattens Madrigal, Earth’s Earth 2 and Anaal Nathrakh’s The Codex Necro. Most people wouldn’t even make it through one cycle.

[nitpick]Shadow Dancing was done by Andy Gibb, not the Bee Gee’s. Although I think they did do some backing vocals on it. [/nitpick] And, doggone it, why do so many people have it in for the Bee Gees? They’ve done some wonderful music.

Wonderful music? You have a career is PsyOps, my friend. :wink:

Two words: Wayne Newton

Wait, hold the press: William Shatner

Celine Dion, My Heart Will Go On (My Voice Sinks Boats)

Joy Division if you want to give him nightmares. (Now don’t get me wrong, I like Joy Division, but I can’t count the number of times I’ve had nightmares related to their songs.)

Otherwise, I’ve got a CD of Pat Boone singing heavy metal classics…

Surrendering? Psshaw. I’d be slitting my throat after I slit both my wrists before she even gets to “will”! And why don’t we have a damn pukey smiley yet??? :mad:

My secondary picks (although completely unnecessary with GorillaMan’s pick above):

Bananaphone, Raffi
Achy Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Sucksass
Party All the Time, Eddie “Shoulda Stuck to Acting/Obscene Comedy” Murphy

Not likely. You have to get people to believe what you want them to, after all, and I seem to be failing miserably here. :wink:

And I never said all their music was wonderful, but they have put out some very good stuff. I like it.