Help with online dating profile

OKCupid has really excellent algorithms. Yes, it makes sense to skip the questions where you really could not give a rat’s ass but keep in mind that some interests aren’t going to be reciprocal, and your answer may screen out folks to whom answer B is quite important whereas your answer is C. The main thing is to answer large quantities of the questions if you want to benefit from their math.

The people I’ve known who complain that OKCupid is no better than (say) or some such site are nearly always people who’ve only answered 85 or 125 or 12 questions. At which point, hey, they might as well be on sure enough, they aren’t using the place.

And then, yes, you also get to read folks’ responses including theirs comments on their own answers (at least if your own answers are public).

I have answered around 480 of them (after trimming off the fat of fluff questions), and a large number with comments, so I should be good. It is a little depressing to see the relatively scarce number of like minded people in my area, whereas if I search DC I get many pages of 99% matches. I guess it is a combination of a smaller population density and me not fitting in as well with the rest of Virginia.

I think it reads pretty well, and also filters well. By which I mean, many women won’t read past your first paragraph, but the ones who don’t wouldn’t be a good fit for you. I do think you should reconsider the song. It is a very fine sieve. If musical taste matters greatly to you, and you only want women who would like that, then leave it. But the song is rather “in your face” and will make a lot of people click past you. So, is that what you want? Or is anyone who’s gotten that far down the page maybe worth a date? Many women will start it playing in the background while they read, and it doesn’t create an open relaxing ambiance.

Its unclear whether the six-year-old you reference is yours. If you are going to include the child in your pictures, I recommend identifying the relationship early on.

Overall it comes across as honest, open, fun and intellectual.

Serious suggestion: For your self-summary, cut everything except the first paragraph. Everything else is covered by example elsewhere in your profile - nerd hobbies, rugby, romantic approach to life, etc. (And ffs, don’t explain the fakken joke the line after! )

It would be great stuff to talk about on a date, but it’s just boring waffle on the profile.

Otherwise, pics are great, generally looking pretty good!

Well wow. I logged into your profile from my account and you and I are a 99% match also!! I have answered 1,518 questions. Sorry I am taken or I would hit you up! :wink:

p.s. I like the 9-photo photo. It’s cool, don’t get rid of it!

p.s.s. Echoing what someone else said above, you should have no problem getting dates.

p.s.s.s. However… I do have male friends with stats like yours who have a hard time meeting acceptable women in non-major-urban areas… DC definitely has a lot more of what you’re looking for. Newport News… not so much. Hey I work only a block from the DC NASA building, transfer here!

I like your edits.

TruCelt, removed the song link. It worked better when there were a bunch of earlier songs that would be perfect for playing in the background while reading it. They have since been edited away. Before editing, it was clear I did not have any kids. Added a note to that effect on the picture. Reordered pictures so the foam is not in the top three, and therefore doesn’t pop up on mouse over. That way you only get it with the caption.

Jaguars!, I am seriously considering that. That might be the way to go.

Green Cymbeline, I got excited when I saw the visit by a 99er who lived in Virginia. I only realized it was a doper helping me after I looked at your profile. I may have to decide on priorities, as dating does not look like it will be easy here. Unfortunately DC with NASA means a crappy desk job, and my current job is my dream job.

even sven, I took advice from everyone, but it is the more general advice you gave me that helped the most. I had to kill a few darlings, but having the proper mindset made it easier.

The eggshell bit was just a metaphor; the suggestion is to have a specific question in your profile. For example, at one time I asked “who’s your favorite muppet?” The answer isn’t hugely important (you know, unless it’s Elmo), but if someone wants to contact you it gives them something obvious to get the ball rolling.[sup]*[/sup] There should be something, anything, to get a conversation started.

  • Another metaphor.


I’m not gay,come get me now

Coming a bit late to this party (I usually don’t spend time on my personal laptop during the week, so this is my first chance to log into OKCupid), but if I may crash it: what I see this morning looks/sounds great! The text is good, the pictures are good (another vote for keeping the 9-shot photo), and if you didn’t live 130 miles away…well, I still wouldn’t write to you because I’m not at all athletic. :wink:

I will say, though, that I disagree with even sven’s otherwise excellent advice in one area:

I would definitely mention not having a TV! Not having a TV means there are a lot of pop culture references you might not share with someone; also, television is a primary form of entertainment/relaxation for some people. Not having that in common isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker, but I think it’s worth mentioning up front. The key is to do so without insulting those who enjoy watching television (even if you honestly think less of us). There’s even a place right in the template for it. A quick “I don’t have any favorite shows; I don’t own a TV” would do it.

Just my $0.02.
(P.S. If you see that a user named nom_de_cupid viewed your profile, that’s me. :))

You have probably made all the changes to your profile you needed to make by now, because your profile looks fabulous. But why are you limiting yourself to women only up to the age of 44? What about us older women? By the way, you and I are a 96% match. :wink: