I’ve seen a couple of people doing this on the Board, and I like reading the critiques. I started to wonder about my own.
I update it just about once a year, and so it’s getting a little dated at this point.
The difference between most people asking for help and me is that I’m not looking for anyone to date, which I say specifically in my profile. But once I moved here, it seemed like a fun way to possibly meet some people to hang out with. There aren’t enough platonic meeting sites, other than say, Meetup.
I’ve actually met a few friends here this way, but they’re few and far between. 99% of the responses I get to my profile are either polyamorous couples or men who conveniently don’t notice the part where I mention I’m married and monogamous. But the 1% are worth giving it a whirl every now and then.
Here’s the profile. I’m getting tired of it, but I do like the responses I get to people who answer my question about the hottest president of all time. A lot of people like the really beardy, post-Lincoln guys.
Well since you aren’t trying to really get a date - and probably 95%+ are on that site - not much to rate. You gave decent info. I’ve met friends off there, but it was sort of like - ok - we can’t date, but you might be cool to hang out with.
Didn’t get a chance to read in detail, but my one suggestion would be to swap the 1st and 2nd pic. It isn’t that glasses aren’t cool - it’s that you can see your full face much clearer in the second one.
I think using OKCupid to meet platonic friends will result in a lot of people being disappointed that you’re not wanting to date or hook up.
If you’re looking for friends I’d suggest looking for groups or get-togethers in your area that involve things you like. For instance, there may be a tabletop gaming group that meets at a game store, a cooking class at a community college, or people that hang out at a bar watching sports.
If you want to get rid of the polyamorous couples, only one change is necessary: change “bisexual” to “straight”. And really, if you’re married and in a monogamous relationship, the “sexuality” section isn’t particularly relevant for you.
I agree that if you’re looking for platonic friends, a dating site (no matter if they say it’s good for that) isn’t the best place to do it. You’re going to get people looking for dates because that’s what the vast majority of people are on there for. Not sure what the solution is, though.
I think looking for platonic friends on a dating site is inherently going to confuse or annoy people.
I like your profile, but wouldn’t know what to make of its presence.
I rolled a 1 on your Height and Body Type disbelieve will save.
HOLY CRAP! How do you fit in normal buildings you Amazon Goddess!
I agree with the above. If you are into LARPing you might find some like minded folks. The problem with getting into the nerd groups is many men will try and snag the errant female regardless of marriage status.
I’m Bisexual. I’m married and monogamous and very much in love. I don’t really feel like messing that up. But … I’m looking for Guys and girls who like bi girls. Did I mention that I’m bisexual?
Anyone ever tell you that you send mixed messages or toss in details that are misleading or inappropriate?
You sound like a really cool chick. Wish I lived nearer to you.
I have a profile and it clearly says over and over I’m just looking for friends. Nearly every day some guy wants to know if I like my feet tickled or if I’m in to three-ways.
Not that kind of friend, guys!
They clearly do not pay as much attention to the profile as the photo… and I guess I must look like the type who gets her toes sucked.
It’s a dating site. I’ve really never heard of it being used for friendships.
My experience with dating online is that 80% of the guys don’t bother to read long profiles. They will just message you.
I agree. Furthermore, I’m not sure what you are hoping to agree by having us critique it. Do you want to know how to present yourself so as to attract more or cooler friends? Sorry, but it sounds a bit odd to me. I totally believe you are happily married, but this is coming across as if you really liked and miss the attention part of dating.
Wow, some of you are really uptight here. Either that or I didn’t really make clear what I was actually going for here. I’ll try to explain.
You keep saying that OKCupid is no place to look for friends, and it’s inappropriate for me to mislead all those poor guys who can’t be bothered to read my profile. I haven’t found this to be true. I’ve been on OKCupid for almost ten years and while it’s uncommon for people to be looking only for friends, it’s definitely not unheard of. I respond to some ads like mine, I’ve met a few people. I’ve met a good number of online friends, too. OKCupid has those tests and questions and it’s more community-like than a dating site like say, E-Harmony. I would not be on E-Harmony looking for friends, that’s for sure. Someone who eventually became one of my best friends in Atlanta responded to my ad, saying I seemed cool and he invited me and my husband to a game night that he holds once a month. Sounded good. We’ve been going to these game nights for almost three years now. I made a joke to that friend to never tell anyone how we met, though. Another girl once responded to my ad and we hit it off and went to one of those girly “BYOB and paint” classes. That was a blast and I would never have thought to go to one, nor would I have ever thought to have looked into a “Get Drunk and Paint Classes” meetup or Reddit link. It works decently for me. I wouldn’t keep doing it if I had consistently terrible results.
I guess I did mention that I get a lot of responses from men who didn’t read or ignored parts of my profile. That may have been interpreted as me lamenting this, asking The Dope “Help! I get too many men looking for dates with this ad! how can I make it more clear I only want friends?” Truth is, I understand that many men don’t actually read the profiles and it’s just part of the package to deal with these responses without complaint. No biggie. If a guy is disappointed that I didn’t answer his ad or is annoyed that I was misleading, that happens. It’s a dating site, this happens all the time. It probably happens even more to people who don’t read the profiles.
If it were possible, I would have listed my sexuality as “asexual.” They don’t allow you to leave it blank, and they have no “asexual” choice. Although, that is one good suggestion- I should change “Who I’m looking for” from “boys and girls who like bi girls” to “everyone.” It’s probably less confusing that way. So thanks for that suggestion.
Also, I’m reluctant to change it to “straight” because the gay women are much better at reading the profiles. One girl prefaced her message to me with “I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD THAT YOU ARE ONLY LOOKING FOR FRIENDS.” This made me laugh and I wrote back. I feared if I put “straight”, gay women wouldn’t find my profile in their searches anymore.
As to what I was going for/hoping for by posting it here and having people critique it, I had two objectives- one is that those jokes I put in there are almost a year old and have gotten stale to me. I hoped that if some people here read it, they may comment on some of it and it might spark a conversation and act as a springboard for me to write new stuff with new topics. Dopers are funny, smart and creative usually, so I thought it’d be a good place to test it out. The question about the hottest presidents was a lot of fun to start conversations online, but I need something new now.
The other objective was that I was hoping someone from the Dope might see the profile and like it, want to interact more. I love online friends almost as much as real friends. I was hoping to make a few more, that’s all, and pointing people to my profile was a way- I’d hoped- to introduce myself a little.
I guess this went down like a lead balloon. I hope explaining this made things a little clearer, though.
Sorry, but it sounds a bit odd to me. I totally believe you are happily married, but this is coming across as if you really liked and miss the attention part of dating.