OkCupid: A Journey

Inspired by:

The curious bitter fruits of online dating
Women; what do you think when a guy says you’re pretty?
eHarmony rejects non-Christians–cite?
Long Term Relationship Problem

*Today I begin a voyage into the great unknown: Online dating websites. I’ve certainly used online dating before, but it’s always been through typical social networking sites like Myspace or Facebook. Being a scientist (with a PhD in Social Networking, of course) I feel it’s crucial to share my work with an august peer-reviewed internet forum: The Straight Dope Message Board. *

April 6th, 2010 - 9:32 AM
I create my OkCupid account and upload two pictures from my Myspace. Pleased with myself, I read responses to Curtis’ thread while I wait for the inevitable outpouring of desperate women eager to connect with me online.

April 6th, 2010 - 9:34 AM
I feel like I’ve been waiting for hours and I check back with my OkCupid account. Aha! I’ve received two instant messages from attractive women on the website. Feeling particularly smug, I check out both of their profiles before responding (got to make sure they’re not simply using FGASs, you see). Tsk. They both joined yesterday and haven’t filled out anything on their profiles. I have a feeling that they are fake profiles. I ignore their instant messages. I continue reading posts on the SDMB while I continue to wait, undeterred.

April 6th, 2010 - 9:37 AM
Still nothing on OkCupid. I’m wondering if perhaps this internet dating thing isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Maybe the site is bugged and the women aren’t seeing my profile? Aha! I realize I haven’t filled out any of the surveys. I answer such deep questions as “Do you space out or daydream a lot?” OkCupid asks me how my ideal match would respond to such questions. After about 10 or so questions OkCupid is yelling at me for answering “irrelevant” for each question. I become frustrated.

April 6th, 2010 - 9:52 AM
I begin typing this post on the SDMB.

What are all of your experiences with OkCupid?

You need to fill out LOTS OF surveys before you get a lot of OkCupid action. Instead of some kind of universal matchmaker algorithm to match people up, OkCupid looks at which surveys you chose to answer as well as the answers you gave.

April 6th, 2010 - 10:51 AM
I return to my computer and see that OkCupid is yelling at me for not having contacted anyone. Grumbling incoherently, I begin sending out messages.

April 6th, 2010 - 11:30 AM
I take some personality test on OkCupid. My result? “The Last Man on Earth.” That’s a good thing, right? Right?

Some of the “what would your ideal partner respond” answers are more relevant than others. For example, whether they approve of sex before marriage, etc.- that’s not irrelevant! It’s nice to be able to weed out certain mindsets.

That being said, the match questions were more of a I’m-bored-time-waster than anything else. I responded to people mostly through pictures and profile quirkiness as opposed to, “OKC says we’re a 90% match!”

All of the dates I had through OKC were decidedly hum-drum- mostly self-proclaimed nerds lacking vim and vigor.

ETA: I took that goddamn test and got “Genghis Kunt”. It’s flattering to nobody. :stuck_out_tongue:

A good friend convinced me to sign up there to take the Are You A Slut test or something like that. It was fun, we laughed.

At first glance, it appeared that the entire site was skewed way too young for me, I was 35 at the time. Then I took a few ‘tests’ and answered a good chunk of their endless questions and started getting forgettable emails. The barely-literate type where the matching percentage thingy is >40% and it’s obvious they hadn’t bothered to read my profile at all.

After having a profile there for maybe six weeks, I realized I could search for “matches” and narrow it by geography and age. Found a few decent profiles, had a couple of message exchanges and met my (now) husband.

And we lived happily ever after.

The End.


April 6th, 2010 - 1:50 PM
Checking my email, I’m told that a peer has reviewed my (now officially) peer-reviewed study of online dating. It’s an Oriental female from somewhere called Vancouver. I’ve never heard of it but judging by her pictures it’s somewhere in northern Taiwan. She tells me that she likes things that most people hate and that she finds it easy to get along with people who’ve received the same test score I have.

I assume this is some sort of Canadian (Canada? Isn’t that an American territory?) mating ritual.

According to OkCupid, she is 35% my enemy. She must be a communist. This warrants further study.

Dated one girl for a few weeks and met two friends-with-benefits. No current long-term relationships have formed from it, but I must say I’m satisfied. It takes a lot of work though. My response rate is about 20% or so I’d say, and I had to fill out a lot of surveys and answer a shit-ton of questions.

By surveys do you guys mean tests?


April 6th, 2010 - 4:58 PM
OkCupid has accepted me into the tribe. I have been declared a Libertarian Rodney Dangerfield Rat.

I’ve never seen a site where a guy could actually just wait on the women to find him. No matter how many surveys and stuff I filled out, I’ve always had to do a little bit of searching on my own.

The only time I’ve had people actually contact me was using a social networking site that had a Secret Admirers application. If you told the app you liked someone, they would be told that someone likes them, and given a chance to of 9 people who they might actually be interested in. Only if both sides wind up picking each other will you be told anything. Occasionally some of the women who had picked me would actually contact me.

It seems that women on these sites get enough requests on their own that they rarely actively seek anyone.

Oh, yeah, Asian girls that want you to marry them and take them out of their poor lives in their country are the exception, as are girls who just want you to look at their webcam.

That post of mine was sarcastic. She looks like she lives in upper-middle class Canada.

The only way you can sit back and wait for responses is if you’re a girl. When I was on OkCupid and active, I’d get several responses a day.

Lots of cute geeky guys on OkCupid in my experience. Mention D&D and reading on your profile and they flock like bees to honey.

I honestly kept forgetting that OKCupid was a dating site. I signed up for the tests, and then I got all these messages from boys that were like “omg, you’re so cute.”

So I played along, and even dated a couple guys from there…but I dunno, I think I’ve decided it’s not for me. (I met my current boyfriend somewhere else.) A lot of the profiles I’ve found on there have been a bit eyebrow-raising, and I’ve gotten some creepers. Also frustrating were the guys who clearly hadn’t read my profile before messaging me. No, I do not do one-night stands. No, I am not looking for the love of my life. This is clearly reflected on my profile. Go away, please.

Maybe I’m not suited for dating sites. On social networking sites I just mass-add girls and one in ten will message me and start chatting me up. Can’t do that here!

I shall not be deterred, however. It’s only been one day.

I live in Vancouver. Want me to drop by and meet her for you?

April 6th, 2010 - 6:57 PM
Someone offered to investigate the Thai communist. I suspect this is an attempt to spark what they call, in internet parlance, a “three-way.” Warrants further study.

My great grandmother married a real life goat from northern Georgia to get out of that hell hole. Just sayin.

:smiley: I’ll keep that in mind.

I’ve messaged a lot of people and nearly all of them looked at my page but virtually no responses. I can’t stack up to the OkCupid studs, apparently. :stuck_out_tongue:

I take it that you are unaware that a Canadian could be living in the USA and still live in Vancouver, the older Vancouver?