My Smith, your stuttering problem appears to be getting worse. But I think we can put a positive spin on it!
Winston Smith: Words so worthwhile, they bear repeating.
or possibly
Winston Smith is speaking. Are YOU listening?
As for the rest of the firm’s activities: well, it gets daily more difficult to put a positive spin on torture, poisoning and genetic experimentation. Fortunately, our media blitz is bearing positive results: we now rank ahead of noted pharmaceutical companies in the “Trust” category, although we still languish behind the U.S. government. Now, we COULD improve our image- but it would be simpler, not to say cheaper, just to slander everyone else’s. Therefore, I’d like to file a request to our Blackmail, Fraud and Extortion department to create a few scandals in the US government and a few well-chosen corporations. True, revealing what we know will cost us blackmail funds in the short term- but you can’t buy that kind of publicity!
Meanwhile, propoganda (uh- public information) continues to work well in the Consolidated Regional Offices (Japan, Brazil, so on, so forth). We have won the hearts of the Brazilians by promising to find a cheaper source of meat than cattle ranches, thus checking the spread of deforestation. Soylent Green sales are up in all major markets. The Japanese, meanwhile, have heard of our giant-robot industry, and are naturally fascinated. Perhaps a few training videos could be sent to keep them distracted while we take over their industrial facilities?
Finally, internal propoganda. Unfortunately, loyalty to the company and the person of Winston Smith is down nearly 83%! What with the constant flow of double-, triple-, quadruple- and sextuple-agents back and forth between our organisation and the recent not-for-profit interest group set up to oppose us, many of our agents have no idea who they work for any more! While there are some productive individuals who continue to raise the bar for “spreading the goodtime vibes” as widely and ferociously as possible (remember our branding, people!), others have defected, pretended to defect, or really-defected-and-then-pretended.
Normally I’d address this problem through a little yoga, some teambuilding exercises, and a series of madatory “intensive nervous system response” sessions with the “employee comfort co-ordinators” in our “special” suites. However, that doesn’t seem to be working this time- possibly because the comfort co-ordinators are unwilling to- uh- “co-ordinate” their own comfort levels. Suggestions from those few staff who still remain loyal?