There’s all the difference in the world between giving it another try after she’s turned you down for a date a few times, and continuing to press on in a physically somewhat intimate interaction (passionate kissing or more) when your partner’s passion is MIA.
You know what? When I was dating, I had the same difficulties. There’s no Magic 8-Ball for telling the difference between a “Sorry, I’m busy that day” that means they’re really busy but would like to see you another time, and the “Sorry, I’m busy that day” that’s a polite ‘fuck off’.
But (a) that’s not what I’m talking about (see my response to Velocity), and (b) if you guess wrong in your scenario, the consequences are pretty minimal.
Having never been autistic, I don’t know if autistic people are clueless about when their partner in a somewhat physically intimate encounter is sharing their passion in the heat of the moment. Autistic people have to learn a lot of basic stuff about personal interactions that’s second nature to most people. But I’d think that because of that, you’d just take it for granted that anyone writing generally about personal interactions probably isn’t writing something that applies to you, but rather has a target audience of the 99% of the population that isn’t autistic.
Huh, it really is <2%? For some reason I thought it’d be a lot higher than that. Maybe it’s just the circles I run in that make it seem higher. My bad, carry on.
According to the CDC, the incidence of autism spectrum disorder is 1 in 59 persons in the U.S., so closer to 2% than the 1% I implied, but still under 2%.
I’m glad that you are an expert at communication and body language, but some of us - who aren’t even autistic - do find it extremely ambiguous and confusing.
I’ve even had a girlfriend tell me she didn’t like something but also didn’t want to tell me to stop, and I found that VERY confusing. If the girl refuses to communicate, how can I identify and correct the problem? Can we at least agree that women have a responsibility to make their wishes known in an unambiguous manner?
Three things stand out to me about this.[ol][li]That’s a lot of people![]Only 8 were alleged to be consensual?![]“may have happened a long time ago”?[/ol]Let’s stick to the consensual ones for now. It’s a shorter list. The details about Intel CEO Brian Krzanich are very thin. In fact about half the articles I’m finding are questioning the decisions, with at least one industry-focused op-ed piece flat out calling it a cover for deeper problems in Intel. [/li]
Enjoy,
Steven
Does that mean Krzanich was railroaded or did he do something wrong? I don’t know. I really don’t care all that much. But the shotgun approach that some companies seem to be taking, combined with HR policies designed to defend against the merest hint of litigation are almost certainly causing some unjust results. Overall I’ll tolerate these because the previous system was worse, much much worse, but like the actor whose remarks inspired this thread, I find myself cavailing a bit.
If both sides agree it was consensual and not coerced, then I don’t see how you can connect it with #metoo. Nonfraternization policies have existed for a long time before #metoo started. #metoo is about how men have been getting away with a lack of consent for a long time.
Thanks for adjudicating this BigT. Please pass on your notes to the Washington Post, the New York Times, and other publications because they’re still writing stories about Krzanich’s resignation with the #metoo hashtag.
Sarcasm aside, this indicates exactly the issue that Cavill and other thoughtful and respectful, yet powerful and high-profile, men are having. Rightly or wrongly, even a consensual relationship can blow up in your face.
That having been said, the fact remains only 8/417 =~ 2% of the alleged cases of high profile misconduct were said to be consensual versus 98% which were not. And of those 2% there’s a decent chance(>50%) they weren’t fired. Krzanich seems to be the outlier of the outliers, which lends credence to the idea that it was internal politics rather than justice for sexual misconduct which forced him out. So on balance, #metoo is still much more of a force that helps the arc of the universe bend towards justice than towards injustice. Cavill and others like him will simply have to live with a bit more uncertainty in their lives than they once did. To which, I again say, the answer is to use your words and get better at reading your partner’s signals. It’s what you should have been doing in the first place.