Fucking Billy Fucking Graham, Jr. Con artist and pus bucket had a kid and he’s as big a huckster as Trump is. His ads appear on the local news half-hour, asking people to call his prayer hotline, which I’m guessing you’ll be gouged for $$$ for someone to spout some god gibberish for you. Just fuck you, asshole.
I vaguely remember hearing about these; this wasn’t a thing when I graduated from high school, which - despite the very rural, very church-going nature of the people in that county - doesn’t surprise me much since I see that these services can also be called “Baccalaureate Mass,” which is just too darn close to papal activities. (Disclosure: I haven’t received any notice of excommunication, so I guess I’m still technically Catholic.)
I can’t remember if it was here or another site, but I once saw that shitass referred to as “Billy Graham’s brat.” Perfect if you have to talk about him in polite company! And yes, I’m sure those fine folks will pray with you right after you hand over your credit card.
Is this the original Billy Graham’s grandson?
I very rarely have mayo in the house. I just don’t use it much. I think it comes from my strong childhood hatred of that vile glop Miracle Whip and not realizing until I was an adult that mayo isn’t the same thing.
I’ve always hated Miracle Whip, at least once I was exposed to it.
I was more fortunate in the sense that we never had MW in the house as I was growing up. My first time trying it, I was either a teen or in my 20s. I assumed it was another brand of mayo (the opposite of you I guess) and was in for a nasty surprise. I honestly thought it had gone bad or something.
MW: Mayo’s demon-posessed illicit bastard child. Recognized by all, reviled by decent company, and beloved of the unmentionable set.
Which makes sense because it was first created in the Great Depression as a cheaper alternative to mayonnaise. (Not a joke, that is its origin.) Also, it’s considered a “salad dressing” but who would put it on a salad?! (It is also supposed to be a great topping for fruit, WTF.)
Basically, they took mayo and mixed it with cheap salad dressing and a bunch of spices, so the end result had a more unique taste and could be manufactured for far less money. At least, that was the original incarnation, I assume they use a more efficient process today.
I think the main thing that turns me off is the corn syrup that’s added. I have never in my life tasted mayo and thought, this would be so much better with corn syrup.
That sounds like something I may have posted. Well, he’s still an annoying hairdo.
So you never got a comic book with your breakfast?
Time for the initial fruitcake report (ref posts upthread starting about #51). …
Based on last week’s posts, from my own go-to outfit I ordered the basic 1#14oz cake for $42.40 with tax & shipping from: Collin Street Bakery.
On @Ellecram’s recommendation I bought these folks’ basic 2#4oz cake for $55.90 w tax and shipping from Monastery Fruitcake.
On a per oz. basis the Collin street is 42.40/30 = $1.41/oz. and the Holy Cross Abbey is 55.90/36 = $1.55/oz. So not quite 10% more expensive which I consider an immaterial difference. A typical responsible, not gluttonous, serving is ~1.5 oz, so they’re both about $2/serving.
Visually the Collin street is more professionally manufactured looking, while the Abbey is more home-made artisanal looking. The Collin’s top is completely covered with a solid layer of neatly arranged pecan halves & some fruit scattered about, while most of the top of the more irregularly shaped Abbey is exposed cake with some fruit and even fewer nuts scattered in a very random manner.
Once cut into, the cross section clearly shows both are loaded with both fruit and nuts, with the cake serving as glue to hold the real goodies together. They’re equally rich in goodies.
Flavor wise they are both wonderfully rich and delicious. If you like one, you’ll almost certainly like the other. I’d describe the Collin’s taste as “NUTS with fruit and tasty moist sweet cake”. Conversely the Abbey is BOOZY damp almost unctuous SWEET CAKE with FRUIT and nuts. The Abbey gets some extra points for its luxurious mouthfeel. The Collin is more rustic and nutty-crunchy.
It would be easy to eat way too much of either at a sitting. Which you prefer is probably a matter of whether your idea of fruitcake is especially boozy and fruity versus more nutty and fruity.
I will have no problem finishing both of them in fewer days than my pancreas and waistline would prefer.
Cheers! It’s never too late to get yourself the seasonal gift you deserve.
My next effort once these are mostly eaten is to get the 6-cake 6# sampler recommended by @Tamerlane inpost #108 for an 8-way comparison.
I enjoyed your fruitcake reviews! I am imagining the monks at the Abbey just pouring on the booze during the baking season lol.
Shit, I have really been missing out.
I was visiting Montmartre Last week and was riding the Little White train that travels around Montmartre, up and down the hillside with a recorded audio. It is like the little trains that often are at zoos in the U.S. for kids to ride around in. I was in the first car behine the engine and it was very lous. I thought to myself i am sure they vet these trains to be sure they are safe! AS we were coning downhill to a t intersection, the engine turned right and the cars did not. I was shouting Oh! Oh! for the few seconds befroe we slammed into the railing between the sidewalk and the street, crushing someone’s bicycle and the railing in the process. I speak very little French and they spoke very little english and it was quite the adventure. the other failies who had been on the tour opted to go somewhere else but I wasnt to go back to Sacre Couer so they had to send another little tain to pick me ap around the corner. I am sure the owner of the bicycle was in for a shock when they came back for thier bike.
I am fine, I had a few bruises and some aches. The two kids behind me both hit thier faces on the seat backs which could have crazed thieor teeth. I hope the parents get them checked out soon.
I was at a potluck and there was this beautiful salad of chopped fresh veggies in layers topped with what I though was maybe sour cream or whipped cream cheese. I got a healthy spoonful and it Miracle whip.
Thanks for the encouragement! I just placed an order with Collin Street, because they ship internationally and Monastery doesn’t. Funny thing is that they wouldn’t send a pecan pie or a pumpkin cake to me, only a fruitcake. Probably because it won’t go bad! 
I Need A New Therapist- Again!
Having navigated all the hassles of finding a new therapist, I found one I was happy with. I asked all the questions I should have asked- except one. My last several therapists have charged roughly $60 per session. The initial session with this therapist was $180. My mistake, I should have thought to ask about the cost. I have been trying to get information on how much subsequent sessions would cost, hoping that the intake session cost had some fees bundled in. Regular sessions are from $165-180. I cannot afford that once a week. I cancelled all upcoming sessions. Back to square one.
One of the bits of literature included in the Collin Street tin includes storage suggestions:
Fruitcake shelf life:
Counter top - 2 to 3 months (unopened at room temperature)
Fridge - 3 to 6 months (in a sealed container)
Freezer - 6 to 12 months (in a sealed container)
The cake comes enclosed in heat-sealed shrinkwrap clear plastic inside the tin inside the outer shipping box. So yeah, it could take a slow boat to and back from China before being air-shipped to you and still be within shelf life. 
Though they do encourage you to eat the whole thing right away for a peak experience. 
I found one I was happy with, but then my workplace switched their provider, and I have to start from scratch. Technically, I shouldn’t have to, and they’d pay for the sessions with the old provider, except there is literally no way to schedule them anymore.
I would need therapy to help deal with my sticker shock about the price. Weekly? Wow.
If you like mayonnaise, you’ll love this …
…possibly.