[QUOTE=Sarahfeena]
I saw that. Two people mentioned they thought they get treated differently because they are women (one of those people was you). No one admitted treating posters differently because of their sex.
[/QUOTE]
Not to treating people differently based on gender, but I - a card carrying feminist - am ashamed to admit that I was SHOCKED to discover the well-spoken, logical wring and kimstu were both women. Their Great Debates posts flow in a well ordered, well researched manner. There posts are generally very well thought out. There gossip and pit posts don’t read as girly. Not that I treat either of them differently.
Quiddity, on the other hand, has never struck me as anything other than female. And for someone self proclaiming how difficult it is to be smart, I’ve never percieved her as anything above the mean around here. 'Course, this place skews smart.
WhyNot, I am shaking my head in amazement that you think your posting style is similar to QG’s. Amazement. I actually find your posts to be reasonable and reasoned. Polite and good-humored. Not condescending at all.
[QUOTE=Zsofia]
These two statements when put together do not compute, man. When I read the thread title about “do you remember who you argue with here?”, the punctuality thread is exactly what came to mind.
[/QUOTE]
Well, for me, it wasn’t so much what she said in that thread as the relentless posting again and again and again and again and again and again with eyerolls and more eyerolls. It was the cumulative effect, on top of other threads that I had kinda forgotten about until this thread.
In other words, she just kept digging, but I can’t point to any specific post.
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] WhyNot, I am shaking my head in amazement that you think your posting style is similar to QG’s. Amazement. I actually find your posts to be reasonable and reasoned. Polite and good-humored. Not condescending at all.
YMMV, but I don’t see it.
[/QUOTE]
Well of course YOU wouldn’t see it, Sarahfeena! :rolleyes:
(Was that condescending enough? And you know it was a joke, right? Does admitting it was a joke negate the condescension? )
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Eek! Oh dear, suddenly I feel like An Authority!
I admit, I’ve had my heart in my throat for the last few days as this pustule’s been building pressure. See, in my own eyes, I’m totally guilty of everything QG’s getting slammed for. …snip…
[/QUOTE]
This is a good example of “tone” then. I genuinely like you. I enjoy your posts when I run across them in threads where our interest interact. I will accept as ‘Gospel’ your own self-appraisal except I do not “get” a condescending tone from your posts. In fact I get more of a “Earth-Mother”* tone.
If everything you posted is basically correct, then **QC ** should be capable of being a good poster. I have some hope she might talk to you and Lib off-dope and find a way to “tone” herself down a bit.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Well of course YOU wouldn’t see it, Sarahfeena! :rolleyes:
(Was that condescending enough? And you know it was a joke, right? Does admitting it was a joke negate the condescension? )
[/QUOTE]
See, that’s the thing…I can tell when you’re joking!
What I meant to say was “…it’s not a place for you to vent your frustrations that no one has ever understood you because you are so damn smart.”
[/quote]
Wrong again. What they didn’t understand was the same material that I had read. Period. That’s it. In those words.
Some people’s. Not all people’s. Plenty of people don’t think that at all.
[QUOTE=Hamadryad]
You know, QG, in all honesty, here’s what I recommend.
Make a post in here which reads:
Quote:
I’m not a particularly nice person online. Period.
Then make a note of the URL of that post and every time anyone gives you static about your “tone” from that point on, refer them to that post. If you really DON’T care about the opinions folks on here have of you or your perceived attitude, that’s all the defense you need.
Not kiddin’.
[/QUOTE]
That’s kinda cute. Except I very often am nice. I very often post posts to help folks. However I did used to use the sig ‘We will run out of pearls long before we run out of swine’.
[QUOTE=Giraffe]
Quiddity Glomfuster makes me sad. I do believe her sometimes sanctimonious tone is caused by a lack of awareness of how she is perceived rather than a desire to demean. I get the vibe that, perhaps because she was picked on when she was younger, she instinctively reacts to criticism by curling into a figurative ball and automatically dismissing the negative reactions as those of irrational bullies who are putting her down to cover up for their own insecurities.
[/QUOTE]
Meh, not really. I long ago learned that I have both fans and detractors; the latter don’t bother me because the former make up for them in spades.
But I don’t feel a ‘victim’ at all. I don’t suffer fools gladly. People don’t like that in a person. I don’t care. I’m a very happy human, actually, and I feel very blessed, because whatever troubles I’ve had are nothing in comparison with ones I’ve read and heard about here and elsewhere.
Thanks, Lib.
[QUOTE=Lemur866]
And this is why so many people are annoyed with her…she claims she wants “niceness”, but she doesn’t appeal for niceness in a nice way, she does it in a mean way.
[/quote]
Niceness worked on only a few people. The rest ridiculed me. So I spoke in a way I figured they’d understand; ‘snark’
Tell me, exactly, how you would discuss with a Rubystreak in such a way to persuade her that saying ‘fuck your mother’ (who, by the way, died some years ago of breast cancer) is not a decent way to address someone. How, exactly, is it that I, who generally stick to remarks about people’s ability to comprehend, am so much more hideous than people who call people cunts and bitches ad infinitum and who descend to character assassination?
For the umpty-zillionth time, it’s not being ‘mean’ as being ‘mean enough to go for the throat’ mean that I dislike. It’s hitting people below the belt that I protest. And you’re not going to tell me that anything I’ve said is worse than what people said to Liberal when they were trashing him.
[QUOTE=Lemur866]
So…what exactly does QG want here on the Dope?
[/QUOTE]
What Quiddity was looking for when she landed here was threads like this: Triskadecamus got me to thinking about faith - Great Debates - Straight Dope Message Board
She found some very funny Pit threads, some great cooking threads, and a bunch of really interesting threads from scientists and mathmaticians and people with expertise in fields I know just a bit or nothing about, which is wonderful.
I also found that, while some people are funny and irreverent in the Pit, others are heartless. I witnessed a couple Pittings of people that I thought were way, way, way over the top and I said so in so many words. I don’t like it when people are that nasty to one another. A certain amount of grumpiness/narstiness is tolerable but people piled on and really said some rotten things about the Pittees and I defended them. And yes, I said some people were behaving like jackals. Hardly that bad a remark.
[QUOTE=faithfool ]
Or, that’s how I feel about it. The only time I ever pitted anyone, even he (who I no longer feel any animosity towards – if you’re reading along mssmith, I have gotten to where I don’t quite take everything so much to heart, so thank you) told me something important with “growing a thicker skin.” Very smart that, and although I’m sure I must’ve grasped that concept before, he drove it home in a way that encouraged me to accept my own over-sensitivity. And, voila’!, it’s now much better for me concerning that.
[/QUOTE]
Yep. Life’s quite pleasant when you don’t let the opinions of strangers disturb your equilibrium.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Quiddity Glomfuster, I like you a lot. I read most of your posts, I think, in the tone in which they were intended. I “get” you, I think, because you’re so much like me. I could have written that history as an autobiography. I don’t personally have a problem understanding your intentions. And I’m really shocked that so many people do. But this thread makes it indisputable that you’re not communicating clearly with a lot of people. You can indeed choose to tell them to fuck off and know that at least one poster - me - will continue to “get” you. But if that’s the case, then why post on the board - you could just email me. If I was the one getting this feedback, I’d try to be less defensive and more receptive to suggestions and try to change my posting style so that more readers “got” me - because I like the high feeling I get when people “get” me. The highlight of my pathetic day is someone saying, “I agree with WhyNot, and furthermore…”. But of course that’s entirely your decision.
[/QUOTE]
Thanks, WhyNot. I read your posts and enjoy them, as well. There are actually other posters who also ‘get’ me, which says to me that I’m not hopelessly obscure.
As to the rest, that’s ok. My aim in life is not to be ‘got’ by masses of people; it won’t happen. What’s gratifying for me? If I post some bit of information for someone that helps them. If I go hunt up a reference or a resource for someone and that’s useful to them. That’s pretty cool. If I can do something that’s useful to you - that’s wonderful. You don’t need to like me or even like me for it. Beyond that, I like learning from the people here who have expertise I don’t and laughing when there’s silliness. I’m not out to win a popularity contest.
There is an old saying that tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell so well that they look forward to the ride.
I’m direct, loud, chatty, opinionated and a general pain in the ass. What is chafing my hide right now is the sheer number of typos on my employers website.
I don’t often pay attention to the random pixels that are posting, however, some do shine a bit brighter than others. There are several pixels in this thread where I have scrolled up/back to see who it was that was speaking. There is quite a bit of wisdom in this thread, hell, even the bible has some good sayings in it (please don’t ask for a cite). I’ve been especially impressed by Giraffe (damnit, is that mod-ass-kissing?), Jodi, Cervaise and as always, WhyNot.
You see, I have this theory. You can tell better someones character not when things are going their way, but when things aren’t. It is called grace under pressure. It is how diamonds are made. It cuts away the facade and shows true character.
I’m with WhyNot. I’m as guilty as Bundy on some of the charges against you. Why is it that you are being singled out? Heck, I’m a lying cheating whore with a drug addict husband, child molesting father and convicted felon brother, a pornographer for a sister in law, I profit from evil (gambling), the list continues. There is a reason. It isn’t because anyone is intimidated. It’s hard to get intimidated by a pixel after all. I don’t know what you do, how old you are, how much education you have, what kind of house you live in, car you drive, if you have any titles of distinction, what kind of job you do, how big your tits/penis may be, what size clothing you wear, what kind of purse/wallet you carry. What on earth could I possibly be intimidated by? (If it’s smarts think again.)
So let’s move past the whole intimidation thing. It isn’t flying any better than the “I’m a woman and my behavior would be ok if I was a man.” thing. When we separate the wheat from the chaff. We pretty much come down to “What you are saying isn’t meaning what you think you are saying.” Otherwise, this thread wouldn’t exist.
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] WhyNot, I am shaking my head in amazement that you think your posting style is similar to QG’s. Amazement. I actually find your posts to be reasonable and reasoned. Polite and good-humored. Not condescending at all.
YMMV, but I don’t see it.
[/QUOTE]
Ditto. I know Quiddity Glomfuster and you, Senator WhyNot, are no Quiddity Glomfuster.
[QUOTE=Auntbeast]
We pretty much come down to “What you are saying isn’t meaning what you think you are saying.”
[/QUOTE]
Well, some people get what I say. That suits me fine. Frankly, I haven’t the slightest idea why anybody cares what I say at all, however. As you said, you don’t know me. I am, I repeat, pixels on a screen. I’m nothing to you so why do these words matter? Read them. Ignore them if you don’t like them.
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster]
I ‘complained about it’ in a thread about how things that are supposed to be great in others’ eyes are not. Just like the people who were ‘complaining about’ being too attractive. :rolleyes:
I don’t say, nor do I think, that I’m ‘smarter than the rest of you’. If you must be all snarky, at least try to find something I actually said to snark about.
[/QUOTE]
I wasn’t responding to something you said. That’s why I quoted Starving Artist’s post when I composed mine. I was addressing what **Starving Artist ** posted.
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster]
Frankly, I haven’t the slightest idea why anybody cares what I say at all, however.
[/QUOTE]
For the most part, you are like the woman at the movie theater with the giant hairdo. No one really cares how you do your hair so long as it isn’t obscuring the view of Colin Firth’s ass.
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster]
Wrong again. What they didn’t understand was the same material that I had read. Period. That’s it. In those words.
[/QUOTE]
You realize that I was paraphrasing you, to give you an idea of what people might take out of that post, don’t you? Maybe not. The point is that you say over and over in that post that you have to change how you act around people, or just avoid them altogether, because of your superior intelligence. Here are some quotes from that post:
As far as people not understanding the same material you had read…it doesn’t really say anything about that in that post. Do you not remember the stuff you write at all? Do you not review it when questioned? Or do you just think that the rest of us can’t read, so you can make stuff up about what it said, and we wouldn’t notice?
What about the gender thread that Crotalus and I both have asked you about? Do you not realize that you told a blatant lie about what was said in that thread? Or, if you think it wasn’t a lie, please please do us the favor of linking to a specific post in that thread that supports your claim.
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster]
Well, some people get what I say. That suits me fine. Frankly, I haven’t the slightest idea why anybody cares what I say at all, however. As you said, you don’t know me. I am, I repeat, pixels on a screen. I’m nothing to you so why do these words matter? Read them. Ignore them if you don’t like them.
[/QUOTE]
I’m pretty much only noticing these pixels because while you are saying one thing, you are actually doing another. And as a general rule for humans, it’s not a Good Thing. Words, thoughts, deeds combine to actually make us who we are. Your words and deeds are not accurately (according to you, who should know) expressing your thoughts.
A cat can have kittens in the oven, but that don’t make 'em biscuits.
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster]
For instance?
[/QUOTE]
Regretfully, I must decline your invitation to become mired in a pointless item-by-item debate. I am, as a rule, disinterested in perfecting my pig-wrestling skills. I’ve told you what I think; now, you can take it or leave it. You have, apparently, chosen to leave it, despite the number of people who have (to my gratified surprise) chosen to single out and second my comments. Thanks, y’all.
Though, for the record, I did spend a few minutes browsing through the various train wrecks you’ve precipitated, and I am entirely unamazed to find not a single instance where you have made an untarnished retraction of any comment or offered an apology for any fucking thing at all, despite ample opportunity and, indeed, obligation.
Far as I’m concerned, this is done. Enjoy your clusterfuck. Which I’m sure you will.
There is not a human living or dead who has been universally liked
[/QUOTE]
Not true. Everybody loves The Fonz.
As for my 2 cents, my only beef with you is how you joined my team in my ill-fated Jackal thread and then proceeded to demolish all the progress I had made
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster]
Well, some people get what I say.
[/QUOTE]
isn’t it a leap to a conclusion to assume that your detractors don’t “get” what you say? I generally will at least allow for the possability that ‘maybe I wasn’t clear’. even if (especially when) I thought I was. the presumption that some one merely doesn’t ‘get’ you is, well audacious/arrogant, especially in this crowd.
[QUOTE=Auntbeast]
I’m pretty much only noticing these pixels because while you are saying one thing, you are actually doing another. And as a general rule for humans, it’s not a Good Thing. Words, thoughts, deeds combine to actually make us who we are. Your words and deeds are not accurately (according to you, who should know) expressing your thoughts.
[/QUOTE]
Also, I think tone is something that is contagious, especially on a board like the Dope. One snarky comment leads to more snarky comments, and a thread can be derailed extremely quickly. That’s a problem, especially for someone who claims not to want to be vicious.
)
