to be fair though, that portion of the OP wasn’t really addressed or even acknowledged by most posters, furthermore, we already acknowledged that 2 people (one of them being you) brought up that they thought THEY were judged by gender, not that other people acknowledged that.
At that in some threads, especially ones where gender is pertinent your response MIGHT be different. Threads dealing with sexuality, sex, gender differences, etc. where a single post or an unfamiliar poster may have an unclear gender themselves but raise a gender specific question that has a response that varies based on gender. There are plenty of legitimate (not snarky holier-than-thou-woman) reasons to alter a post based on the gender of the poster, which is probably what the OP was addressing.
I appreciate your kind words, but I promise, I’m only as good as the company that I’m blessed to hang around with. I just like to take help, for myself, wherever I can get it. The few people that make up my real life circle, may not know me as well as someone online. By the same token, my bestest friends here, probably don’t understand everything pertinent to my life either. However, I really, honestly don’t care where useful imput comes from. If it does my heart and mind good, that’s all I need to consider. And QG, you do have much to offer and probably do plenty of folks that admire you. However, please just keep on the back burner that lots of Dopers wish to see you recognized for your best. Or at least as ‘meh’ as it gets for whenever a bad day or too long traffic comes calling.
I just think the more people who wish to be perceived as supportive/suggestive/full of coveted advice/whatever, constantly should persue their voice being heard as, mainly in my humble opinion, kind. Because almost any hard-headed puppy would wander off to take a bath if you call them for it in the same tone as that when yelling “TREAT!” Cover your words as a treat and the rest will follow.
Now I’m off to the Tyler-ish area for my dad’s surgery tomorrow. Will all my pitizen pals send some positive vibes that way? Thanks. ~Kemi
QG, maybe I’m hopelessly frivolous, but I feel that if you’re such a lightning rod that you can generate five good pages in the Pit in one afternoon, you should probably stick around. And FWIW, though I’ve witnessed the side to your personality that people are complaining about here, I’m not one of those who think you have nothing to offer. I’m usually interested in what you have to say, in fact.
We know the you that you present here. You are completely 100% in charge of that. You may have the most annoying manner of jiggling your knee IRL that people have to overlook, or you might have the sweetest smile that makes them excuse a host of transgressions – we don’t know the IRL you at all. We know the you that you choose to present in this written forum, and we are all of us, without exception, smart enough to have a pretty good grip on who that person is. And the consensus seems to be that that person is a bitch. That’s on YOU, not us, because “bitch” is how you choose to present yourself.
As far as your repeated claims not to care about our opinions is concerned: The best evidence of what a load of horseshit that is, is the repetition with which you post to attempt to defend yourself. If you truly didn’t care what we thought, you wouldn’t bother, or at least not bother so often or for so long. 52 post in one thread in 23 hours does not demonstrate a lack of care in others’ opinions.
I have read threads where I’ve disagreed with Quiddity, but I’ve never felt insulted because of it. In fact, if she states something I disagree with, it is often in a tone that makes me consider the other perspective. There needs to be more of that. I kind of see her as a voice of reason among a large group of stubborn people. I think she is a target because she posts a lot, which many see as being opinionated. I see that as having more free time than me. I’m not surprised to see her as a pit topic, but I am surprised to see this many people in agreement with the OP.
I don’t expect people on this board to “love” me as the OP has said (odd choice of words, there) but I do want to be “credible”. I agree with what IvoryTower said, go back and check yourself, two or three times if the issue is serious. Measure twice, cut once and all that.
Do you not want to appear credible?
Also, regarding Frank’s post above, trying to back up a statement with non-supporting data just blows my mind. Do you not see that you were incorrect?
you missed it. if people don’t ‘get’ you, please consider it isn’t 'cause they aren’t as smart as you, but maybe you weren’t as clear as you thought you were. If their reaction to your words is unexpected, you may consider assuming you weren’t clearly communicating.
Charger, that is an interesting point, but the frequent posting is not the problem, I am the only poster on the entire board that posts at a higher rate than QG. I am obviously opinionated, I openly admit to this and say so. I think the difference is, **QG ** rarely shows any signs of ever changing her mind. She feel she is always right and will defend this to the point of absurdity at times. Additionally, we still go back to the real heart of pitting. She posts with a tone that comes across as smug and condescending. I think I tend to avoid this as a direct example of someone who posts a lot and is very opinionated.
You know, if I have to pit WhyNot for giving the Quidster an out in that gender thread I’ll hate myself forever. Ms. Not got me to pay up because of he thread about her premature daughter. If she gave the Quid-weasel and excuse to interpret that thread as in agreement I’d be sad.
Of course, the Quid-weasel said that posters said they post differently when they know the gender of the person they respond to. Not what Ms. Not said at all. That would make Qiddity the only person to claim that in the thread. Not exactly overwhelming evidence.
So this is an example of what I think people are talking about. I’m not talking about the truth of this statement. It doesn’t really matter, really, since it’s just your opinion. But it didn’t need to be said. . . and it certainly didn’t need to be said in such a tactless manner. So it comes across as very condescending.
In order to try to illustrate the point, I googled brutal honesty and came up with this quote which seems to have a lot of buzzwords that I’ve seen in this thread.
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Your arguments are very varied, so I don’t know if you’re defending your behavior by saying that it’s not condescending or you don’t care if it is. In either case, though, I think this quote would apply.
I’m rather surprised by Giraffe’s earlier statements, but if he’s reading you correctly, then I’m sad too. But I’m not reading you like that. I’m reading you like you’re just playing around here and don’t mind that you’ve made a caricature of it. If that’s not the case, then I’m not really sure how to feel about it because then the quote above really does apply to you and not just to the caricature that you’ve created.
.
Well, I seriously doubt that anybody thinks not suffering fools gladly is a positive characteristic. I’m well aware of that, and that to some folks, that makes me not a good person. I don’t have the patience to deal with the chronically incapable of understanding, which is why it’s best that I don’t spend time in their presence. On a board, I’m just a bunch of squiggles on a screen. In person, not so much. It would be nice if I were able to deal with people who just don’t get things easily without getting frustrated, but I’m not that way. If I were, I’d be ‘a good person’. But otherwise I’m pretty nice, actually.
So you’re saying I should do the schoolyard equivalent of bursting into tears and saying I’ll run to tell the teacher if she doesn’t stop? Isn’t that kind of goofy for grownups to be pulling? And I have, on numerous occasions, explained that the thing she’s beating me up about is not anything like what I said - all I get is more abuse. At some point, I lose my patience and point out that she’s just not understanding or is deliberately misconstruing. Neither is a mod-worthy report; I’ll be laughed off the boards by mods if, in the Pit, I say ‘that Ruby is deliberately misconstruing what I write, make her cut it out’, dontcha think?
I was just thinking today how I don’t actually like the beach much. It’s about the sea lettuce that’s all over the beach these days. I can’t link because it’s a pay story, but the summary is
Thanks, Auto.
Look up. You’ll see a reply. I didn’t have time before. See, I work for a living. And unlike some people, I actually do my job when I’m there.
Cite? And don’t go with typos; that’s just lame.
I have worked with scientists. More than once. It was a blast. I said I’d like to work with them again because they were a ton o’ fun. Now them, I could talk to.
Why would the latter be relevant in any way, shape, or form? There are almost as many world views as there are humans. I’m not terribly impressed with groupthink and herd mentality, thanks. No, I’ll not be joining in. I find few people with my world view; I treasure them. The rest are welcome to live as they wish.
As for checking my facts, I do all the time, actually. I just double-checked ‘odoriferous’ to be sure I had the definition right. I’d learned it this way:
odoriferous
from dictionary.com. before and thought it had been misused in the article. I was wrong. However I checked before I posted which is what I said before; yes, I check myself all the time before I write.
With all due respect, what I’m being bashed about is not science, but style. If you see mistakes in fact from me, by all means let me know.
Do you see the word “may” in that quote? How is the OP admitting to anything?
Even assuming that that is what the OP meant, why do you further assume that the OP meant it in a dismissive sense, and not in the sense of “There are some subjects on which a response could perfectly validly vary according to the sex of the poster,” which seems to be how everyone else took it?
Well, H&R here’s what’s insane about this whole thing. Basically, I’m being told ‘you evil cuntbitch from hell; scum-sucking harridan who probably spawned Satan, don’t you dare say somebody’s not wise in the Pit’.
Don’t you think that’s just a wee bit ironic? This is, as is endlessly pointed out to me, the Pit, after all. Not saying you called names, but a few others did. And I did say that I have seen (I think anyway) wisdom in some posters who never turn up in the Pit.
I said that this is not the place for you to vent your frustration that people IRL don’t understand you.
You said that you never said that people don’t understand you.
I gave examples where you said that people don’t understand you.
You now acknowlege that people don’t understand you, and that you have to modify your behavior accordingly, IRL.
Let’s go full circle now, and I will repeat myself…this is not the place to vent your frustration that people IRL don’t understand you. You don’t have to edit your vocabulary here, this is true. Most of us know how to look up the big words you use. My suggestion, though, is that you learn what to edit and what not to. There is no place in life where it is appropriate not to edit our base impulses. Use the big words, cut back on the snottiness.
The OP was suggesting that maybe some people may alter their behavior based on gender. WhyNot said that she believes that some people treat her differently because she is female. What you said about this thread was:
Can you explain to me again where this happened? Because it’s not in either of the examples you gave.
