A “friend” of mine has a problem with these. No matter how much he wipes, all his undies are brown in the ass… he, naturally, thinks this is pretty gross. Any thoughts as to how he might stop this embarrASSing problem?
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Shouldn’t be a problem as long as you friend stays out of the emergency room. I guess it would also require some explaining during a one nighter. Doing laundry in a public place could also be a mother.
But seriously folks, try some fiber in your diet, helps keep your “shit together”. Another possibility could be a prolapsed butt hole; one that doesn’t close all of the way. Your not putting anything up there are you?
Here is a quote you can take for what it’s worth, considering the source:
“Floating poop is an indication that the food you’re eating is properly balanced, not too contractive and not too expansive. If it’s hard and sinks you’ve probably eaten too much protein. If it has a sheen and leaves skid marks, too much sugar.”
My friend’s little sister got hold of her essay and started writing about HSs. Makes me giggle impossibly whenever I read it:
"I was almost happy then I farted and I was sad. Gas makes me so unhappy, but what makes me really unhappy is the hershey squirts. You notice how the hershey squirts looks like chocolate, I guess that’s why them damn people who call it that, call it that. One thing that makes me happy, though, is burping, 'cuz most of the time burping doesn’t smell as bad.
Another thing that makes me unhappy is when people piss and take shits in teh river [the essay was about “On the Rainy River”] 'cuz you know that river water is the only thing keeping me alive right now (sick bastard shit sucking vampires). Anyways, I almost lost it there for a second, back to the subject, you know if I urinated and so forth in teh river then someone sure as hell would hunt me down and eat me for their breakfast and then hershey squirt me out later on that day.]
Man, she’s weird!
how do I know if my ass whiping technique is improper or proper? they didnt teach this shit in school ya know… haha
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned
something very wise that I can’t quite remember. -George Carlin
A) Obviously, if he’s having such messy bowel movements, he needs to improve his diet.
B) If it’s simply a matter of skid marks, I have tha answer, because I am obsessed with having a tidy butt and I do it myself: BABY WIPES. Dry toilet tissue is insufficient, in my view. And seeve a bidet, the only other answer is a damp cleansing wipe. Baby wipes. They are cheap and effective. I buy 'em at Costco by the case, just like my TP…heaven forfend Y@K should break down the supply lines and I find myself with a dirty butt.
Well, my prob… Imean, my friends problem hasn’t stopped, despite on, occasion, wipeing until raw. Are those baby wipes flushable? That might be a good idea. Also, how do I know if it’s a bacteria? My, er… friend has had stool cultures done, to no avail. Anyway, lemme know.