This isn’t the map I found in the paper yesterday, but this one is from the Ohio State University. It says that Atlanta is well outside of Brood X’s (that’s Brood 10, not Brood “Ex”, but you can say “Ex” for “10” because everyone does) range. No bunker needed for you, my little apple blossom.
No cicadas for me then.
I’m just glad she didn’t search “Kallessa” or “dove gray morning coat,” because you guys might be reading an obituary right about now.
Tiramisu! Yum yum YUM
Art? You guys go and see art without me? I’m an art teacher; kid art is my life. Plus I know how to fake ecstasy over any little scribble so the kid thinks he’s the next Picasso. This is a very useful skill, I give lessons on tuesdays.
Cicadas are different from katydids, right? Because we have those here and I’ve got to say, while the rattle/screech is annoying, we don’t arm ourselves with racquets. Do they fill the air with their bodies, moving in great swarms? Because that could be the beginning of a great monster movie.
Hey, Ex! Would Angel Pants The First be alright if you called Swampy, Cherubim Chinos? Just a thought.
I’m wondering what is the difference between the X Cicadas and the ordinary Florida Cicadas that we get down here every year, other than there are apparently a lot more of them? Did you know that eating too many of them can give you a tummy ache? I just put that in here cause Lucy seems to like to eat crunch things. Cite: http://www.dog.com/news/more (You have to scroll down about two-thirds of the page and click on the story.)
Well, first she’s bright and creative. So you could use her to do Soupo’s homework or art projects. Second, she does help cook, she cleans, and she’ll wash your cars. She also sings reasonably well, can dance, plays a wicked sweeper in soccer and is about to get her white belt in karate, so she could protect you from angry mobs. She is afraid of some insects and worms, although she loves dogs and cats and most other animals. She’s had both gerbils and chicks from her Mom’s school to take care of this semester.
Oh, and she’s loving, sweet and cute as a button. What else do you need to know?
Speaking of Cicadas, I need some help. At work we’ve got an extremely nice, even extremlier (I know that’s not really a word) naive co-worker, who has never seen nor heard of cicadas. We currently have him convinced of the following:
They are between 12 and 18 inches long, they are attracted to any source of light except Glow Sticks, can burrow under your house unless you water the lawn (they’ll drown, of course), have an instinctual attack pattern towards tobacco users, and will eat the rubber on your tires unless you cover them with plastic.
I figure I’ve got another hour or two before he either stops beleiving or starts stocking up on plastic bags and Glow Sticks. Any more Evil Cicada Dangers out there that I should warn him about?
Hey Ex, in the future you should point out to Angel Pants (not Swampy, your Angel Pants) that you use this board to investigate serious threats to National Security, and that your online relationship with Swampy is both purely professional and requires the assignation of code names. It’s not your fault NSA can’t come up with something better.
Trust me on this. You can fool her. I swear.
There are katydids, regular cicadas, 13 year cicadas and 17 year cicadas. The 17 year (and I think the 13 year) cicadas come in (at least) three different species. The Periodic (17 year in this case) cicadas explode out of the ground (where they have been burrowed 12 to 15 inches deep sucking on tree roots), shed their skin and get it on. Then the lady cicadas lay their eggs and they all die. It takes about 4 to 6 weeks start to finish. They really don’t do anything other than make a LOT of noise, get it on, and die in large piles.
They survive on the Predator Satiation plan. That means there are so danged many of them, all the local predators eat and eat and eat as many cicadas as they can, (barf them all up and eat and eat and eat some more in the case of dogs) and there are still a bizillion of the screaming sex addicts left. They don’t “swarm” so much as fly around, but when there are as many of them as there are, just flying around can be daunting. Hence the need for a badminton raquet to “clear your path”. And they don’t fly all that far. I mean there’s a quadrillion lady cicadas at their buggy fingertips (if bugs had fingers), so why invest in a roadtrip? One neighborhood can be litterally crawling with cicadas, while nearly around the corner, nary a BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!! Luckily my neighborhood was built right after the last outbreak and all the trees around here are less than 17 years old. If there are no trees to suck the roots of, cicadas aren’t a problem. So, all in all, they shouldn’t be a problem right here.
All over the news and in the paper, they’ve been whipping up a Cicada Frenzy so people know all about ALL the perils of the orange-and-black menace with red buggy eyes. They even print up cicada recipes every couple of days. (Mmmm! Stir fried cicadas! I’ve been waiting 17 years for that!) The worst part of the whole thing is when a cicada lands on your back and you don’t know it. It’s not like it can bite you (they have no mouth) or dig their vicious claws into you (no claws) or sting you (no stinger), but all of a sudden BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!! right ON YOUR BACK! It’s startling.
On the upside, we’re going on vacation early June. With a little luck, by the time we get back (from a No Cicada Zone) things should be winding down. I shouldn’t have to sedate the Little Woman hardly at all.
-Rue. (been buggy before)
Let’s just stick with swampy. Cherubim Chinos just hurts to look at. My, this has been an exciting week. I have caused strife, turmoil, jealousy and jewelry buying. I feel like I’m 25 again. 
Rue we need pictures of Soupo’s art work so’s we can ooh and ahh over what a budding artistic genius he is.
earthpuppy it’s love bug season. The boogers will be a flyin’ all over here in the next few days. Ah, the joys of scraping love bug guts off of vehicles! :dubious:
Shibb there’s an excellent book for reading up on bears. It’s called (surprise! surprise!) “The Bear Handbook.” Actually it’s probably more than you’d ever wanna know, but it is funny.
I got me some learnin’ about crop dusters this morning. I learnt how the seats and the rudders and the wing flaps and the landing gear are put together. I even got to read blueprints and specs on all of it. Now comes the fun of how to get other people to understand it all so’s we can start putting stuff together. Yep, I am on the way to becoming a crop duster subcontractor. YEHAAAAAA!!! Dang, what I won’t do to place people in jobs.
Now that’s and evil insect. Lovebugs suck. Plus thier little dead bodies damage the paint on your car.
I thought we had a truce on, man. Why are you trying to get me killed?
I just realized that there’s nothing preventing her from reading this right now. There’s a good chance I’ll be posting in falsetto tomorrow.
Tell me about it! I mean I’m all for lovin’ but it ain’t worth gettin’ my guts squashed all over the place for. And ya gotta wash em off every damn day. I’m willing to bet that this is a big reason FCM is glad to be leaving Florida.
A True Evil Cicada Fact:
They are drawn to small engines, like lawnmowers and chainsaws.
Darlin’, just tell her I’m a middle-aged wedding consultant specilizing in de-sensitizing soon-to-be-grooms from the stresses of wedding planning. 
Although you may need to keep her from reading my sig line.
Another Evil Cicada “Fact”
They will crawl into the dryer vent from outside (they’re big and strong enough to open the little vent cover and are attracted to lint) and will enter your house through your laundry room!! :eek:
Yet Another Evil Cicada Fact
They like to get in the pool. They will be floating in your pool every morning because apparently they only like to take a dive at night. Sometimes when you are skimming them out of the pool they are still alive and will start going BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! You also get to clean out large chuncks of Cicada from the skimmer basket.
Did you know that the Pacific Northwest has no really big insects? Sure, we got the termites, the ants, a few hefty spiders, but nothing monsterous. On the coast, you don’t even get that many mosquitoes. No madly mating cicadas or love bugs gunking up windshields. Oh, the no-see-ums can be annoying, but they rarely come inside, and our beetles stay happily munching on tree bark. Yep, no big creepy crawlers around here. Just something for you to think about when you’re picking bugs out of your hair. 
Okay, we do have slugs the size of a small dog, but they’re slow and easy to avoid.
But for tiramisu I’d have to get sponge cake and whipping cream. That sounds complicated.
Any other ideas?
Can you make cookies with it? Candy maybe? Gravy? Ok so I don’t know what the stuff is. However, if it can’t be turned into cookies, candy or gravy then what good is it?
Oh, and the cold is all gone. Thanks for asking.
So these cicadas aren’t destructive like locusts or anything, just really annoying? I mean if they were carrying off children and small dogs then that would be worrisome, and we might have to take drastic action. Like maybe cutting down all the trees and starting over every decade or so.
How come you get 'em in Ohio, but we don’t get 'em here? Upstate New York not good enough for enormous annoying insects? Picky little bastards.
Ex cicadas come in many forms. I am sure there’s one suited for Upstate New Yawk. I am in the 17 year cicada free zone but we have a type we call June Bugs and July Flies. They’re big ugly things. Harmless as in they don’t bite or sting or hold you hostage and stuff but they are damn annoying!
They go:
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
And get in the pool.