My husband plays this one computer game where you trade stuff about 6 or 7 hours a day, ignoring both me and the kids. It has gotten to the point where it’s all he talks about, and he even talks about it and hums music from it in his sleep!!! He does anothing anymore except play. And tonight he even had a fight with me because he lost!!! How do you suppose I go about getting him rehabilitated, cause damn this is ridiculous!
Does he have a job? Is he depressed?
I know that I tend to over focus and “obsess” on things when I have troubles I don’t want to think about.
How long has this been going on? Some people obsess on something new and enjoyable for a short time before they manage to work it into their normal life. If he has only been playing this game for a few days or a week then I wouldn’t even worry yet.
What game is it anyway? I want to play!
Did he just start playing? If so, maybe the novelty will wear off in a few days. If it doesn’t, or if he’s been doing this for a while now, you can always suggest that perhaps he’d like to trade for a new family. 
I think your husband might be depressed. Also, you are going to have to have a serious talk with him. Tell him that he’s shutting you out, and how you and the kids feel.
In my opinion 6-7 hours a day is ridiculous.
Is the game multi-player? Maybe you could play it with him?
If it is a new game, he might just be binging a bit and then he’ll slow down.
I play games and sometimes its a great way to tune out the world and have some time to myself. If I can get a solid weekend of gaming, drinking beer, not shaving and eating pizza, I’m good for a few months. Usually I time breaking out a new game with a trip by my girlfriend to see family or friends.
Maybe you two can create space in you schedules for him to take a gaming vacation for a couple of days and then get back to reality. Good luck
It is multiplayer, I played it with him and he lost and so he declared he never wants to play with me again, started a whole fight with me about it.
Yeah, he has a job alright and he has told me he’s only stressed or depressed when I disturb his game plays by TALKING TO HIM!!! He actually gets pissed off every time me or one of the kids talks to him, he extends his playing time by at least 15-20 minutes for every time he’s interrupted.
It’s called Patrician II, it’s like you’re a trader with ships in the middle ages. He’s already been playing it close to a month, and has extensive pages filled with notes he’s taken on it to increase his success. Before this he was obsessed with a few other games, but this is the worst I’ve ever seen him yet. AGGHHH! I feel tempted to hide the disk so that I can force him to join reality…
Hiding the disk will not work. It will just cost you another $50 when he replaces the whole thing 
That is a bad sign. When the game is no longer a matter of fun, such that he holds his position in the game over the position over you, you need to do something more drastic.
I would recommend telling him how you feel and that you deserve as much time as the game, if not more. Tell him you tried to be a good sport and play with him until he ruined it. If that doesn’t work, demand you both go to counselling (which he will HATE since it will take away from his game time).
I’m no expert, but I am an ex-EQ junkie myself, so take it how you will.
As an aside, make sure if you are going to take him away from the game, it is so you two do something as a COUPLE. Nothing made me more nutty than to have Mrs. Llama want me away from the gaming, and we end up just watching tv together… a total waste of time (not that EQ was better, but at least I could interact).
How old are the kids? Are they old/smart enough to play some good board games? (although your hubby seems like a bad sport) Perhaps if you all could play together it would satisfy his need to strategize and your need for a husband.
How old is he?? This is wierd behavior, if you ask me.
Hopefully this will blow over. When my brother got EverQuest he had a 9 hour marathon, during which the only movements he made were with his index fingers on the keys (yes he types with two fingers).
get a spare hard drive. erase all data, and put it into his machine. Keep his existing one safe.
Take the kids away and leave him a note saying that if he would rather play games than be with his family, and mentally abusing you when he loses, he can start again with a new hard disk and a new family.
Or just tell him to get help. which ever you feel comfortable with.
Best of luck.
I think he really does need to get some help. The type of behavior you’ve outlined does not look good in my opinion. He’s become antisocial.
How long has he been doing this?
My wife (programmer by trade) WILL NOT use a computer outside the office. With the single exception of the release of a MYST series game. At which point she won’t come up for air until the game is complete (three, four days usually at about 18 hours a day)
Otherwise, she’s a completely rational person.
I’ve done stuff like that in the past, just not to that level. If this is something that’s not gone on for WEEKS, it might be something he’s got to tire over himself. (Just offering a dissenting opinion.) Not Everyone is an obsessive-compulsive-addictive-personality-fixated person in need of medication. (I know, I was engaged to one who WAS. :eek: )
I’ve got a bad computer habit, but even I consider this beyond acceptable. This:
says to me that it’s more than just enjoying a game, that maybe he’s got some kind of control issues. He’s in control playing the game in a way that he can’t be (or is afraid to be) in real life, and when you beat him, it endangered the fantasy world he’d built up around the game.
I’m not a psychaiatrist, so this is all pulled out of my butt. When you tell him you think he’s playing too much, how does he react?
Ask him to be rational. How many hours a day would be a reasonable amount for a man his age, with a family? He could easily play 2 hours a night after the kids have gone to bed.
If he says it’s reasonable to 6 hours a night, he probably needs counseling. This has become an addiction. Nothing you can do will change that. He needs outside help.
Mr Vena is addicted to Asheron’s Call, currently. (I call his computer his One Eyed Mistress.) We have 2 computers, so I play with him from time to time.
After intense negotiations, he has agreed that 2 hours a night is plenty, with more on the weekends. But it can’t interfere with us having a life outside the house!!
I don’t want to take his only outlet away from him, but this is a marriage. Both people have to work at it.
Good Luck! I hope he can see how much this is hurting you and that he needs to spend more time with you.
As someone who plays about thirty games a year, for anywhere from twenty to two hundred hours each, I can tell you that the amount of time he’s playing isn’t the problem. It’s the way he treats you and the kids.
If he’s only had the game for a week or two, it could wane soon. If he’s been like this for weeks or months, you need to have a serious heart-to-heart talk with him about his attitude. If he refuses to listen to what you say, then he has far worst problems than playing a game for too long.
Nah, they’re 2 and 3 and have limited attention spans. Our usual group activity as a family is cleaning up the house after the kids destroyed it. : )