Read and re-read Polycarp’s and Sol Gundy’s posts.
And besides, you’re not that far off from the half plus seven rule.
Go for it, Sampiro. As others have said, you are being overly analytical, but it’s not easy to turn that off if you’ve been doing for a while. I speak as one not ignorant of that evil. He likes you, you like him, go with it and see what happens.
Not that what I think matters, but I think you’re a very attractive guy. Sounds like your new pal does too.
I’m going to echo what everybody else has said – go for it. You are not a chicken hawk or a cradle snatcher. You’ve someone that you have a connection with – age be damned! Yes, I’m speaking from lovely experience.
[Grace Jones in Conan The Destroyer]Grab him and take him! Take him and grab him![/Grace Jones]
You’re way cute. And he sounds way cute too – I like nerdy guys myself.
Go for it! He’s legal, so don’t worry; if you two hit it off as well as it sounds like, then the difference doesn’t mean much.
You’re being silly. Call him.
Sophie Tucker, “Last of the Red Hot Mamas” go to
Coupla things: First of all, Sampiro, you are adorable. Since I’m a straight chick, I don’t know if that’ll mean anything to you, but you are. Second - I have a friend about your (and my) age, and he’s always been attracted to younger – waaay younger – guys. Fortunately, they’ve all been legal, if some were just barely. I was completely delighted when he hooked up with a guy who is actually within a year or two of his own age finally. But here’s a little bit of wisdom from him, which never would have occurred to me. A lot of people our age didn’t grow up in an environment that encourages being “out”, so consequently, guys our age probably have more personal baggage about it than younger guys. Younger guys these days (stop me if I start to sound like a codger, willya?) are more confortable with themselves and their orientation - and YOURS. Which flat out makes things all around more comfy for everyone.
And yes, you’re overthinking. Relax and get you some of that.
Dear Sampiro,
Stop being a schmuck and CALL HIM! Jiminy, man, you found a guy in your taste- forsaken backwoods region who is smart, funny, AND cute, and you’re dithering over such a petty issue as age? Dude, I’m 43, my partner is 26–I went through much the same feelings you’re going through now, but when it comes down to it, if the souls match, then the ages don’t matter, do they? You like this guy, he likes you, so do the math already.
And knock off the modesty about your looks–in addition to your wit and erudition, you are highly beddable. You’re CUTE, so get over it already.
In re: Sophie Tucker
"I will never forget it. The other day, my boyfriend Ernie says to me, “Soph (he calls me Soph), when I turn 80, I’m going to get myself a 20-year-old girlfriend. What. Do. You. Think. About. That?”
And I says to him, “Ernie, when I turn 80 I’m going to get myself a 20-year-old boyfriend, and Ernie, 20 goes into 80 a hell of a lot more than 80 goes into 20.”
Dammit, not another “Meee toooo!!!” post.
(You mentioned nerdy. Does he have glasses, a beard and wear baseball caps forward? Best combination, ever, right there)
And FTR, I like your profile too. I’m just not much of a midieval/history kind of guy. <wince>
You’re PBTing (Pretzel Brain Twisting). Relax.
If it happens, who cares about age? If it doesn’t happen, you’ve found a new friend to hang out with.
You’re absolutely adorable. I don’t have a “type,” really, but you’re the kind of guy I would have had a life-threatening crush on in high school.
You know, he probably likes you because all the guys his age are saying, to use your words, “Hey thats intresting you wann a meet somewher and fukk?” Besides, if he’s into older men, who are you to tell him that’s wrong?
Anyway, you’re debating whether to get together with a good looking person who’s attracted to you too. We should all have such dilemmas.
This is partly a bump to encourage Sampiro to respond to what all has been said, and partly a substantive post to deal with some issues that have occurred to me since posting here.
First, I neglected to mention that the relationship between me and the (formerly young) man I described has been rock solid for fourteen years now – in describing what it was like back then, I neglected to realize that not everybody happens to know my current age and so would have no idea how long-term that relationship has turned out to be.
Second, on rereading the OP, I realized that everyone, including myself, has been looking at this from Sampiro’s POV – reasonable, if we’re giving him advice – but I took a look at it from College Kid’s perspective – and it occurred to me that “gay young man with extreme maturity and strong intellectual interests” may be having a bit of a problem relating to people his own age who are substantially less mature in their interests and would probably respond with the “Hey thats intresting you wann a meet somewher and fukk?” message that Sampiro satirized in his OP. In other words, someone who is gay and shares his interests and is interested in him – what makes him tick as a person, not merely his sexuality – may well be rare enough that Sampiro comes across as a breath of fresh air to him. (And yeah, I’m stereotyping all to Hellengone in that – perhaps some gay Dopers can better evaluate whether the stereotype is a valid one!)
But if you’re going to be (over- ;))analytical, Sampiro, you owe it to him to look at the potential for this relationship from his perspective, and see if you can see what he sees in you that he isn’t finding elsewhere.
IMO, that further strengthens the “Go for it!” position that every post here so far has taken.
IMHO. YMMV. In 1960. For 20 minutes. And all that.
One final comment àpropos the similarities in our relationships: I’ve made two posts here so far without saying that your thread title tripped some straaaange memories for me – it was almost a direct quote of what I was thinking on April 26, 1991! 
Thanks to all for the encouragement (cue Sally Field “You like me” music). We’ve exchanged several more e-mails and we’re having dinner tomorrow night. I’ve asked some friends in The Waking the same question and I’ve been amazed that nobody but me seems bothered by the age difference or seems to think that I should wear a man-burqa when in public among cute young people.
Now I’m just trying to remember how this whole dating thing is done and how you figure out if the person likes you and if a hug is too little or a kiss is too much and that type of stuff. been celibate (of the two party variety) for so long that I don’t need Viagra as much as I need Pledge dust remover (though I’m pretty positive it still works if called into active service). I’m going to try hard not to mention the age difference on the date as that would have to be a turn-off.
So, since I’m flush at the moment due to some totally unexpected reimbursement and he’s your typical broke student, do you think it would be untoward of me to offer to pay for dinner or would that seem too Sugar-Daddyish?
Depends on how comfortable he feels with it. Speaking as one who’s just slightly older than your new beau, and going out with someone a few years older than myself, it really does just depend on the comfortness threshold. I don’t think he’ll mind, per say, just be a little taken off guard.
Can I be one slight voice of caution?
You’re not a chickenhawk (don’t be stupid, he’s legal, you liked his mind first, etc etc etc), and you’re not bad looking. Being straight, I honestly don’t find guys that attractive, but Burl Ives you ain’t. ETc. etc. etc.
But the one thing is this - in large age difference realtionships that I have had, the problem came about because I was the ‘more experienced’ one and therefore had to take the lead in so many things. Guess what, sometimes I like to be led. So that’s my one word of caution. Let him be young and you be yourself and don’t get all paternal on him just cause he’s younger than you.
Oh, and just to confirm - my vote is to go for it, like immediately. But I see on preview you already have (GOOD FOR YOU! 
) so here’s another piece of advice:
Do mention the age difference. Tell him you’re a little concerned about that, and ask him if he is to. Then it’s not gonna be the elephant under the bed that no-one can talk about.
As for the rest of it, if it’s right it’s right and you’ll know it. Body language is transparent to about everybody
Oh, there’s an image. <shudder>
Having hit the age of forty, I sometimes struggle with the same concerns about potential age difference (if I was actually in a relationship, that is).
Honestly, though, Sampiro, I can only echo the others: go for it! If the age difference isn’t a problem with anyone else, there’s no reason it need be a problem with you.
As for the sugar-daddy thing, I’d say generosity to mitigate student broke-ness trumps concerns of untowardliness for the first time anyway. If you were always treating him, I could see how that might build up some strain without discussion, but just once? Not a problem.
Oh, that one’s easy. If dinner goes well, snatch the check when it comes and say something in your more-clever-than-I speak that translates to : "I happen to have a little extra money this week due to a totally unexpected reimbursement! So dinner tonight is on me. Dessert will be on you and it will be sticky! 
"
OK, no, don’t say that. But “How about I pick this one up and you get the bill next time we go out?”
Treats him, lets him know you’re not intending to sugar-daddy him all the time AND lets him know you want to go out again. Also lets him pick a cheap place next time if his college-boy finances are tight.
Did you ask for dinner or did he?
usually the askee pays, is all. Unless you’ve agreed to go dutch.