This is just great. If either side gets banned, my sex life is cut in half! 
Um, I know this was WAAYY at the top of the page, but…
I seem to recall reading that the Spartan army was gay, as was most of the Roman aristocracy. BUT…there was reasoning behind the Romans homosexuality, and to be frank it’s sexist. The reason that Romans were gay was simple because the aristocracy was expected to have mates of the same status: and of course, women (in those days) were no where CLOSE to where men were status wise. So to have an equal mate, you had to be gay. And to start families, many of the homosexuals became hetero. So hence we see that many wars were started by heteros. (Like me, 'cept I haven’t started a war. Yet.) And so, is heterosexuality a crime? No…we started more wars simply because pretty much all the population was hetero. Anyone who wasn’t was killed (outside of Rome). England had a gay king once. They jbed a red-hot poker up his ass. Ouch.
Wage, Next time the sarcasm fairy is in your town, you two should have a talk. maybe he could explain some stuff to you
Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.
Who the fuck decided it would be OK to change the name of this thread without asking me? If I’d wanted the fucking thread to say “parody” in it then I would’ve fucking put the word “parody” in it? Do you not have a real high opinion of the intelligence of the average SDMB denizen, that you feel it’s necessary to label an obvious parody? Change it back.
[Moderator Hat ON]
Easy, Otto. I changed the title because it isn’t a debate, so I thought I’d make that clear before people even open the thread–this is great debates, you know. Technically, it should be in the Pit, but I thought I’d leave it here since it’s been here so long. If you like, I’ll remove the “parody” and move it to the Pit, where you can make fun of Orion all you want (and even use obscenities freely, which you should know is frowned on in this forum).
[Moderator Hat OFF]
Please, make it a crime…
I confess - I’m a hetro woman - worse, a breeder with two children. I really tried to become a lesbian in college, but after several akward encounters, found myself, despite my best intentions, dating only men! Eventually, I found myself married, with two children, driving a minivan, living in the suburbs. Every day I worry about corrupting my children with my lifestyle choices.
Of course, if you make hetrosexuality illegal, I won’t have any choice but to pack my bags and move my children in with a woman who wears sensible shoes. The way God meant it to be…
[Moderator Hat ON]
Hmm. Well, my first backing-down. I apologize, Otto; I saw the Judaism thread, which is obviously a slam at Orion (not that he doesn’t deserve it, but not here), and since your title and OP are nearly exactly the same, I assumed it was basically a Orion slam as well, and for consistency’s sake I thought I’d change both. But I read your thread more carefully, and it’s not; there’s actually some debateable questions hidden in here, and you’re not just making fun of Orion. I apologize for altering your thread title when there was no need, and I’ll change it back (I’ve tried, but it keeps timing out). I also apologize for our little flurry of posts here, which kind of derailed an amusing thread.
But you still can’t swear in GD (much), even if you’re really pissed. 
[Moderator Hat OFF]
I appreciate your apology and your changing the thread title back. I’ll try not to swear so fucking much.
No, no, no. You still can’t covet your neighbour’s ass, remember? Of course, I’m not a Christian so I can covet anything I want. And I can also beget with whomever I want. Covet covet covet, beget beget beget.
I’ve seen this around for years, and Dandmb50 just posted it in MPSIMS, but I thought having it here might generate some interesting discussion:
Heterosexual Questionnaire
Just something to ponder…
Esprix
My ghod, snorting Jolt out the nose hurts like hell!!
I truly wish I were ten years younger, and you were blind and tasteless. 
Can Heterosexuality be cured?
Heterosexuality is the biggest threat to the American family. Just think of all those people who cheat on their mates with members of the opposite sex. What will happen to the children??!!
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.