Alone, certainly. But “terribly, terribly?” Why do people always associate “alone” with “terrible?”
The one that really frosted me was the person who said “most of you are alone because you don’t love yourselves enough.” Hooey. Some of us love ourselves so much that we don’t feel the need to throw ourselves at any yahoo who asks, just to avoid being alone.
Oh, that—I mean my career writing books; not my lousy nine-to-five job.
“Would a convent take a Jewish goil?” Gobear, dear, I dated for about 15 years [almost typed “125 years,” which it sometimes seems like] before hanging up my spike heels. The stories I could tell . . . But I have no intention of doing so. Let’s just say I speak from experience.
Was this thread a cry for attention or did nobody read the OP? Usually, people who have accepted, happily, singlehood are not looking for commentaries about how crazy all the people were that didn’t remove them from that position. But hey, don’t let me interrupt the love-fest.
Eve But “terribly, terribly?” Why do people always associate “alone” with “terrible?”
Good question. I never had a problem being alone. I quite enjoyed it, actually.
Yeah, I hate that too. I have family friends who constantly tell me that they’re “praying that the right girl will come along” or “god will send me a nice christian girl to marry”. Please stop doing that. Just in case there is a god and just in case (s)he’s listening to you. My life rocks as is, and if there were a woman in my life it wouldn’t be the kind you’re trying to send my way.
Ah Eve honey, sweetheart. Don’t worry. Soon-- before you even know it-- a man will appear in your life and your biting, bitter pain will be eased. He will appear when you are not looking or while you are doing things you like to do or at church or maybe even on-line. You can then drop dead the minute you meet him.
It will be lovely, really. I know it seems impossible right now, but with just the right amount of good thoughts and positive thin. . . . arrrrgghhhg please. . . move. . . hands. . . from. . . throa. . grraahfffggh
Hey, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life alone, and then it turned out totally differently. To my benefit.
How does this make me a “condescending Pollyanna?”
Now, if you don’t wanna HEAR that, fine. Say so. Oh, wait, you jut did, didn’t you? Admittedly in a rather snotty, bitter way, but, hey, if that’s your bag…
True, it makes you come across rather badly, but far be it from me to criticize or insult a stranger whose motives are a friggin’ mystery to me.
In the future, when you do not wish to hear viewpoints opposing your own, you might say so early in the thread, so’s us condescending pollyannas can stay the hell out…
All I wanted to say was that where I come from, “fanny” refers to the front-bottom, as opposed to the back bottom, so in Australia, unless you are into SM kind of stuff, you really probably don’t want your ‘fanny’ pinched.
Since when does transgendered mean bisexual? You can be transgendered and not be bisexual. I thought transgendered meant basically a sex change operation occured.
I’m not looking but if I found a woman that I loved in every other way and found out she was transgendered… oh well. As long as all the female parts are female parts NOW, WTF does it matter?
Yes and no. Sure was a cry for something, for Eve doth protest WAY too much for someone who is disinterested in being in a relationship. She keeps trying to convince others but I think she has only convinced herself if she doesn’t think about it too hard. And no, people did read the OP. It’s just that, when somebody is talking like her, it’s sometimes best to be supportive agree with her though you REALLY just want to roll your eyes and say, “You don’t really believe what you are saying, do you?”
I do feel bad for her that she thinks she is screwed because of the gender issues, especially as all that is changing as we speak. Perhaps she has a reason; the last time I paid any attention to the status of the transgendered their official, legal reassignment looked like a fait accompli. Many times burnt, many times shy, I suppose.
But we all like to have a little wallow in the self-pity now and then. It feels good to have people pat your arm and say how things aren’t as bad as they seem. Unfortunately, what she wanted was “You go, girl! Show 'em how strong and independent you are,” while what she and the other people in the other thread got was, “Chin up! Mr Right will be along soon.” And some of the people there might’ve benefited from the latter.
So, now that I have solved the problem of how to stay friends with Eve while speaking my mind (I’ll guess I screwed up, speaking of wallowing in self-pity)…
Well, she’s been “out” on the board for some time, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to expect that many posters will know, just as they know she lives in New York and writes books about Hollywood stars of the past. But I don’t see why it should matter either way here. It’s not as if being single, or wanting to be single, is something unique to transgendered/transexual people.
You are right. december was…confused. I’m not sure how he could have made such a mistake, but somehow I’m not surprised.
I asked Eve to explain her reaction in the thread in question. Her explanation was reasonable and I could empathize, but the thread wasn’t just about people like her, who know that they will be single. Contributers also included people who felt as if they were going to be single because no one would want them. I didn’t see any condescension or smugness about Wang-ka’s posts or any other “love will bring us together” posts. They were there to encourage people who were unhappily convinced of their single fates to never give up hope, to not be so quick to resign themselves to a solitary future. I did not sense that they were there to tell people who are happy being singletons that something is wrong with them.
For some reason it seems as if Eve thought all these particular posts were addressed to her, when they were not.
What I demand is a show of hands of all the people here who even GET the cultural reference, “Pollyanna.” Of you, who has actually seen the movie? Read the book? Both? Had a massive crush on Hayley Mills or wanted to be Hayley Mills? Wondered what the hell they had been thinking when she showed up on Saved by the Bell?
We need a new name for the nauseatingly chipper. :mad:
Let me just pipe up here in support of Eve and her rant. I have something to add to nobody in particular. (I stopped reading the other thread so I don’t know if anyone said this.)
When we confirmed singles say, “I am not looking,” please do not continue to patronize us by saying, “That’s what happened to me. The minute I relaxed, stopped looking and stopped worrying about it, that’s when the Love of My Life showed up at my doorstep with roses and chocolate.”
I call Bullshit! I stopped looking years ago. Just because something happened to you a certain way does not mean there’s some unwritten universal law that will make the same thing happen to us in that same way. I just don’t buy it. I think some people who say they stopped looking, were really still looking, but maybe just out of their peripheral vision.
I get the sentiment, good things happen when you least expect them. Just not sure I’d say being partnered with somebody is necessarily a “good” thing in my particular case. Other confirmed singles may agree or disagree. YMMV.
Back when I was in grade school, they used to show us movies when it rained and there was an outdoor activity planned. Actually, they didn’t show us movies, they showed us a movie, always the same: Pollyanna.
God I fucking hated that movie.
I’ve been subjected to that movie at least 30 times. God I fucking hated that movie. Although, (and I’m rather proud of this) I managed to erase it from my memory. There was a girl, Polly… Pollysomething. That’s about it. And it sucked.
Usually, people who have accepted, happily, singlehood are not looking for commentaries about how crazy all the people were that didn’t remove them from that position. But hey, don’t let me interrupt the love-fest. 