Hey, buddy, did you get the e-mail from ywahwegrzimmawahy@microsoft.c0m? You know, the
one with the “Latest Securty Patch”, the 104KB file that “includes the functionality = of all previously released patches”?
OK, good, I’m glad you got it. Now, did you run the patch? You really need to in order to protect your computer from “all known vulnerabilities to Microsoft products”.
Oh, you already ran the patch? Good for you! There’s only one thing I can say to such a sharp cookie as yourself:
_
| | | | _ | | | | |
[ |
EAT MY UNWASHED ASS, COCKMUNCH!
If numbfucks like you would stop stupidly opening up these obvious virus e-mails, then there wouldn’t be any reason for those stupid fucking virus developers to fill my inbox with 5 or 6 friggin’ trojan e-mails a day.
If your computer is chewed up by one of these viruses, do the world a favor – don’t fix it, and don’t buy another computer. It’s the Information Age version of Natural Selection, and you are the fat, gimpy Moronasaur slowing down the herd. Go quietly into extinction, you dimwitted fuck!
Also, I feel your pain about the dumb people who open up the obvious virus emails. Anyone remember the I Love You virus? We had to block people from opening attachments after that. I had all kinds of people asking me why they were unable to open that file. I had to look them in the eye and ask, “Do you really think the COO of the company is sending you a love letter?”
CrazyMonkey, I’ll bet those same users completely ignore all IT Dept. advisories on how to REALLY avoid infection. And tell you, “Well, you should send a global email warning everyone about [the last thing you sent a global warning everyone about]!”
Yeah, I probably DID get your email. However, I DO NOT know the email addresses of all the Teeming Millions by heart, nor are all of you on my safe list. So unless you put SDMB in the title, I probably deleted it unread! Just this week, I’ve caught a couple of SDMB related emails, one was even in my junk mail folder, which I probably would have deleted if I hadn’t felt that the name was vaguely familiar. People, “Emergency” is not a good title. Neither is “HELP!”, unless it’s got SDMB preceding or following it. Even if you are SURE that I know you, put SDMB in the title. My memory is not all that great, and spammers are using some pretty clever generic titles these days.
While I’m on the subject, TELL me your username in the body of the letter. Or even in the title, such as “Hi, it’s Postername from the SDMB” would work. I generally don’t have any clue what your username is, and if I have to fire up the SDMB and get to the Administration panel to look up your email address, well, that’s gonna take another few minutes IF the hamsters are co-operating. If the hamsters are constipated and don’t want to run, then it might take hours. Frankly, I don’t want to spend that much time on something that YOU should have told me about. Nor do I wish to put any unnecessary strain on the board.
I don’t open any frigging attachments unless you’ve noted in the body of the letter that you’re attaching a file, pic, whatever. And when I need to attach a file, I also note in the body of my letter that I’m doing so. BE CONSIDERATE of your recipient’s email limits. Most of us don’t have unlimited mailboxes.
Oh, and I have HTML/ActiveX turned off in my email. Put everything in plain text, otherwise I just get annoyed. Even if I did have rich text enabled, it doesn’t really impress me.