Hey, did ya hear Robert Palmer . . . oh, never mind . . .

The BBQ Pit
1

Is it the great unwritten rule of the SDMB that no matter what great misfortunes may have befallen humankind, if someone who once had a non-speaking, walk-on role in a Bonanza out-take dies, we must drop everything, run to the nearest computer and post a thread about it. And then, presumably, breathlessly and smugly kick back and contemplate our life-changing success at being the first . . . with the news. On a fucking message board.

It’s like A Mad Mad Mad Mad World for the morbidly geek generation; I envisage members going about their daily lives – at the shopping mall, perhaps – tuned into ‘Breaking News’ on a walkman and then . . it happens, 106 year-old Arthur A. Nonymous of NoWheresVille and with a dodgy ticker falls off his back porch, the medics rush over but, damn, it’s too late. But wait! Arthur once brushed genitals with the sister of a backing singer for an act that almost got signed to a record label in Belgium in 1929.

<< Submarine crash diving alarm>> << Red lights blinking>>

Got to get to The Dope!

Out rush’s our morbid geek with No Time To Lose, hudling bushes, leaping flower beds, heart pounding, legs pumping; ”Please Officer, Please Officer, can you help me someone just . . . died!”

Into the car, slam her into reverse, fuck the happy families loading their weekly shopping this is . . . important; breahtless, sweat pouring, hands trembling . . . gotta think clearly, gotta think clearly . . what if, what if someone posts the thread before me! . . . and, and, I haven’t even throught of a snappy/witty title yet. The Horror!
Okay, it’s Robert Palmer, a singer of pop tune related repute some while ago but, but . . it does all seem to posted with a slightly undignified haste. And repeatedly

01:10 PM
01:24 PM
["] 2:39 PM](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=2137130[/url)
02:39 PM
02:45 PM

2

And I thought I was gonna be the one to post this. I, too, love to be the first person to inform everyone that “hey, Uvula Gladwynne died!” But fer chrissakes, people, check to see if anyone else has posted it first! We are now up to, I think, six “Robert Palmer died!” threads, which results in everyone talking past each other, not to each other.

Oh, and show-biz deaths go in Cafe Society, not MPSIMS.

3

L-C

I guess you are about a similar age to myself, probably much older though!!

Anyway, I remember RP quite well, I remeber carry around my first tranny radio I’d paid for with my paper round money, he accompanied my early teens, to me RP has more import than some barely known person who perhaps emptied the bins on the film set of Rocky XXXVIII the sequel.

So to me it seems a shame, and thogh not life alteringly significant, it is a real reminder of my own mortality.

Takes every knind of people…

4

[Eve has to lie down from the mental image this gives her . . .]

5

Eve - Gotta get up early to beat me, toots!

Anyway, what are you moaning about; you’ve cornered the market in sepia-tinted daft old trouts who no else has ever heard of but maybe once had a threesome with Lloyd George and Jesse James.
Casdave - I’m not complaining about the fact of people wanting to post dead threads, but the unseemly haste and lack of thought. Why not take a little time to compose something meaningful or thoughtful rather than lists of “Yeah, RIP RP”.

And tell us more about your teen experiences with trannies; do they have midget trannies up North ?

6

Maybe it started off life as a teletype machine and …

[I was momentarily boggled too.]

7

Hey, I might have been the first one to post anything, but I was listening to the radio at the time and they mentioned it. I guess yeah, I did want to be the first one. :stuck_out_tongue: I did check to see if anyone else had mentioned it, in both CS and MPSIMS. But even if I wasn’t first, those five other people probably would’ve started the threads anyway.

Call it lame if you want, but many people use the board as their “breaking news” source. Don’t ask me why. Next time I’ll check with you to make sure the story is newsworthy.

8

Well, what I’m complaining about—and what I think London-Calling is complaining about, too—isn’t the newsworthiness of Robert Palmer’s passing. Hell, people post threads about the passing of their lunch, if ya know what I mean. And we all want to know when some “sepia-tinted old trout” has died.

What plucks my last chord is when six or seven people post the same goddam topic in various forums, without bothering to check first to see if anyone else has! And then, a pasel of lunkheads will post answers into all of them, not letting one rise to the top . . . And we all end up talking around each other.

9

Niche marketing?

10

Which reminds me, did you guys hear about George Plimpton?

Yessss! I scooped ALL your asses! Read it and weep, losers! AAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAAAH!!!

11

I agree whole-heartedly with the OP. As soon as I saw on CNN.com that he died, I predicted at least 5 threads.

12

Yes, you’re right Eve – if people weren’t in such a hurry to be first to post, not only would we have fewer threads but they’d be more thoughtful and considered. What the fuck is the hurry, the guy’s dead already. But, of course, it’s not about the guy who died, it’s about being first.

The sincerity of these dead threads is heart-warming.

I blame the media and all this going off half-cocked, gotta-be-first “breaking news” bullshit culture. Why do people buy into that stuff . . . and why do I sound so old . . .

13

I assumed there was some kinda prize for being first. Cuauhtemoc, what did you win for Plimpton?

14

Robert Palmer and George Plimpton were STRAIGHT?

Jeeze, with gaydar as bad as mine it’s a good thing I’m straight.

15

When I first heard, I thought it was Arnold Palmer who had died. You know, the 70-something golf pro? So I didn’t even have the right guy for the first half hour.

Anyone else do that too?

16

When I first heard, I thought it was Arnold Palmer who had died. You know, the 70-something golf pro? So I didn’t even have the right guy for the first half hour.

Anyone else do that too?

17

I heard he was addicted to love, perhaps he bought some bad stuff.

18

She did? :eek:

Robin

19

I get to do this.

20

Look, I get all of my entertainment news from Cafe Society. I need a half dozen threads about Robert Palmer, just to make sure it’s real.