I spend enough time at marinas, public launches, etc to have witnessed all kinds shenanigans in real life.
Act pious and tell Mr. Wrekk God is sending him a message through his travails: less fishing, more pedicures.
Does this mean you get a break from eating fish? Maybe you could buy some Goldfish crackers and put some on his plate…in the shape of a fish…with a note: “For all the ones that are getting away.”