Hey Iowa, could you send us your extra rain, please?

The weather people keep teasing us with their forecasts: “30% chance of rain” or “isolated thunderstorms.” We need rain! Really! A good, ground-soaking two inches would be great, if only to prevent fourth of July grassfires. And you good folks in Iowa keep hogging all the rain! Couldn’t we have some of it? PLEASE?

Yours sincerely,


Dear Iowa,

I second this request.

I would add that just because we want your rain, doesn’t mean we necessarily want Iowans roaming around here too. That river is there for a reason. Respect it.

Hugs and Kisses,

mr bus guy

ps: “Iowa” = idiots out wandering around.

pps: Iowans may now respond. Feel free to get help with the big words.

We did need it badly but I admit we’ve had enough for the week. I will attempt to redirect the rain your direction by painting a large arrow on the large tree that fell on the pasture fence during the third thunderstorm in 48 hours. Apparently the ground just became too soggy and it relocated across the driveway, allowing the cows and cowettes to spend the day on walkabout, much to the detriment of all our hanging baskets of flowers and the neighbor’s putting green. Just make sure you send the rain packing before it overstays its welcome again.

I’ll see if we can ship some up. We had up to 6 inches of rain here locally yesterday, and we’re well above average for the year to date.

Apparently you type faster than me, Mr. Short Bus Guy. I choose to ignore you and attempt to help the more polite people who are stuck in the same state with you.


Actually, I’m polite, and I don’t mean to disparage all of the Iowans. Just those with the misfortune to come from my mother’s side of the family.

If you’re not of latin descent, and residing in or near West Des Moines, or the east side of DM, you could probably just ignore that remark.

I was just venting.

Fact is I love your State Fair. Where else you gonna see 10,000 lbs of sculpted butter?

And thank you for the rain, I humbly beg anyone’s forgiveness not directly targeted by my rant.

Dear Alberta,

Could we have some of that extra rainwater you’ve been flooded with recently? It’s a win-win situation all around, really.



We are not related, short bus guy, so we are therefore cool.

The usual butter cow sculpture is nearly complete, but apparently the butter lady is now waiting for a call back from Tiger Woods to see if he will agree to be rendered in yellow creamy goodness. It could be the Best. Fair. Ever.

The Iowa State Fair is the King of food-on-a-stick State Fairs from what I’ve heard and read. MMMMMMMM… corn on a stick and 10,000 pounds of sculpted butter.

I meant “mr” bus guy. Really. In fact, I will now refer to you as Mister bus guy.

(And don’t tell my co-staters, but I thought the wandering idot thing was funny.)

Each year, one of the highlights of the Iowa State Fair is the Butter Cow Lady.

mmmmmm, butter

I’d elaborate, but you gotta see to believe. If memory serves, the sculpture is housed in a building also accomodating the creampuffs, or some other tasty dairy dessert morsel.

mr bus guy, I WILL be purchasing her book. This is just - how can I say this - way too cool. For real.

I will also SO be at the Iowa State Fair to see this - I will FORCE Mr2U to take me there if necessary! Oh and Kid2U will love this too - I just know it!!!

OOH - it’s gonna be a great summer!!!

Thank you thank you thank you!

Well then say hi to my cousin’s kids, they sell some sort of frozen chocolate confection every year, right by the carnival.

Not to get the Iowans started again, but one of the funniest comments I ever heard about the state fair actually came from a relative of mine. He said the Iowa State Fair has the highest concentration of bibbed denim overall wearing, mustached, cigarette smoking, tattooed people you ever saw, and the amazing thing is they all bring their husbands too!

It IS a blast though, I’d plan two days.

And Noodles, Adding the “short” to bus guy was perfect, I lost a noseful of Pepsi!

Screw Illi - noise, send it down here to Texas (We’ll pay the freight). We haven’t had rain for more than thirty days now.

Short women at the factory sometimes would look up at me, saying they wished they had some of my tallness. With false reluctance, I’d say, “Oh, I guess I could give you a few inches, if you really want it.” :wink:

I pictured the Iowans saying the same thing.

Did they ever take you up on your kind offer?

I can’t believe this.

There’s another “isolated thunderstorm” passing us about two miles south of here. Meanwhile the skies rumble ponderously, and no rain falls.


This is Houston’s driest June since records have been kept… at least 1888. It averages 5" and last year we had 18". This year? 8/100.

Oh, and it’s been hotter than Kim Cattrell’s underpants.

You want this water? Come and get it. I’m tired of getting rained on. I left work the other day at 5am, and it was pouring so badly that it was ankle-deep water in the parking lot and it took me an extra 20 minutes or so to get home! I could barely freaking see!

It’s bloody humid, too. Ugh.