Thanks for helping me laugh, instead of grind my teeth about it.
@Spice_Weasel, yeah I’m kind of curious about how this works. Does her added prayer power make the desired outcome more likely? Does she need to pray for us by name, or could she just request bonus points for everyone?
And on a more practical note, does she want to open herself up to confidences and sob stories from random co-workers?
Apologies though. Guess what song will go through your head whenever you see the basket. Perhaps you can smile about it though.
I LOL-ed at work at this.
Stealing.
@Dung_Beetle, please put a request to pray for my soul in the basket as I believe I’m violating one of the “Thou Shalt Nots” here.
About 5 years back, the director of the Arizona Family Assistance Agency (food stamps, TANF and medical) went to Lourdes with his wife. Before leaving, he emailed the entire agency (around 6,000 people) saying that he would leave their prayers at Lourdes for them. He sent the entire agency daily emails from Lourdes telling everyone what a blessed event it was.
(The whole Director Jeffreys thing was as horrifying as it was entertaining. I don’t think he was batshit crazy when he was appointed, but he sure was when he was fired. At the end, he was storing weapons in a basement of a state building while he built up his army of armed guards. I thought the daily puppet shows he did for the morning briefing were the best part of the day, but others weren’t as entertained.)
And now they are advertising dog prescription medicine. Watching some movie on a free channel, and in two different breaks they had a commercial for some prescription dog itch medicine. It even included the list of common side-effects.
I rarely have any outgoing mail. But last week I had a couple things. I first put them on the mailbox last Tuesday. They did not get picked up all week. I put them back out today and no pickup yet. I think, but am not sure, that USPS doesn’t have to pick up if you aren’t getting mail but I’ve never gone more than a few days without getting catalogs or junk mail. One of the things is a check to a small local cat rescue group that helped me out recently and I really want them to get the money soon. Grr.
Please tell us more about this man. I want to hear about the puppets.
I assume it’s this guy?
A former cheerleader for his alma mater, Jesuit-run Santa Clara University in California (where he was known for playing the mascot “Lizard Man”), Jeffries worked most of his life in various business ventures.
It turns out that Lizard Man was indeed fired later.
Yep, that was the one. He did fire some people who deserved it. He also fired entire offices because they had a culture of bullying. Entire offices, everyone walked including the contracted from Manpower (employment agency) Customer Service Relations folks and the office closed until staff from other offices could get there.
He got us raises and he ramped up security, which was nice. He terrified everyone who cared about their job because all it would take to be walked was an accusation of rudeness to a “customer”.
(Before anyone asks, I only stayed on for my retirement. I only needed a few more years of state employment and I really didn’t want to have to go through all the bullshit required to get a different state job.)
His plan to put vending machines in the lobbies so customers could use their food stamps to buy soda and chips while waiting got held up over paperwork, most vending machine companies aren’t set up to accept EBT. He got fired before it happened.
He once mentioned to a staff member that he liked seeing people’s pictures on their emails and im’s so the terrified staff member thought that was a mandate and an email came out telling everyone that they needed to go to their supervisors to get acceptable head shots by the end of the day. I was one of the first to go to my sup and say “Not only NO, but HELL NO!!!” and a few hours later, we were all allowed to use a picture that meant something to us if we were concerned about privacy. I was a cat the entire time I worked there.
About 6 months before the end, Jeffreys thought everyone needed a daily video with somethingsomethingsomething. The first video featured the head of IT and his assorted staff in all their best business attire welcoming everyone to the first morning briefing. Then he said “Always remember to floss, it helps keep your smile bright and DES wants bright smiles all day long.” His staff all gazed at him like he was a god, everyone in my office was loudly upset and I was cracking up.
They got more and more surreal as the days went by, so I started getting up early to be sure I had time to get majorly stoned before walking in and starting my computer. (I don’t drive dirty, I would drive to work and park behind the dollar store a block away and smoke as much as I could.) I love those video briefings, I would laugh at them all day long. Besides flossing, we learned that everyone should carry some breath mints around just in case, to turn around in a mirror before going out to greet a customer because we want to be sure our appearance is always perfect.
After a while, the department heads ran out of things and Jeffreys started putting on puppet shows. The camera showed his hands (everyone knew what his sacred wedding ring looked like by then) holding a couple of beanie babies while he used voices and acted out someone having a problem and the other one being supportive and kindly offering suggestions.
I honestly missed that guy once he was gone. Laughing my ass off every morning made my day go so much faster.
I know you guys are all thinking that I made most of this up. I really didn’t. I don’t have that much imagination!
When I was growing up a Mormon, I’d have to attend a church meeting once a month where people would share their “testimonies” that they know God was real and all the wonderful things God did for them, such as help find the baby’s binky! “We were in such panic, so we prayed and God directed me to find Little Sam’s binky!”
It was the same on my mission, God micromanages events, but only if you pray to the right god.
Do you know this song?
Thank you, God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum
I had no idea, but it’s suddenly so clear now
I feel such a cynic, how could I have been so dumb?
Thank you for displaying how praying works:
A particular prayer in a particular church
Thank you Sam for the chance to acknowledge this
Omnipotent ophthalmologist
Can I get a divorce? Does this fall under cruel and unusual punishments?
My tweens are home all day because the schools are closed. My wife and I are both working from home as well, so there is a lot of stress, of course. I don’t have enough hours, but whatever.
No. Why I need to escape is that my wife has turned my kids on to older songs. Not the great classics of the 70s but no!
I now have two tweens who love The Carpenters!
I rest my case. I’m leaving the family today.
I can appreciate The Carpenters, but when my little brother was 4, his favorite song was “Top of the World”. Endlessly. Enough to make you want to hurt somebody.
What did I do to my wife that she would inflict this on me? Couldn’t she just run off and have an affair?
Eh, they could do a lot worse. Be grateful they’re getting a decent musical foundation, even if it’s hard on your ears. Try to slip in something subversive if you can.
Maybe some Captain & Tennille…
They both take the violin and my daughter takes the piano as well. They love singing and their school has s lot of music.
So what the fuck is special about “I’m on top of the world. . . “? It’s driving me crazy.
It doesn’t help that we’re all isolated here. Why Taiwan doesn’t have enough vaccines is a major rant, not a mini.
Idk, my brother has no recollection of the sheer hell his 4-yr-old self put us through with that hopelessly jaunty song played nonstop.
I hate you
I work for a state agency (in Washington) so I get it. Luckily our director is pretty cool, very relatable. I’ve helped him out personally a few times with IT issues. I’m glad you were able to at least get some enjoyment out of the insanity of your old boss, it must have helped to know that you were a short-timer. (Me, I probably have a couple of decades before I retire.)
A former coworker had just found out that I’m an atheist. She came to me and stated, “I can prove you’re not an atheist.”
Me (rolleyes): “Ok, prove I’m not an atheist.”
Her: “If you’re an atheist, (pause) then who do you pray to?”
She literally COULD NOT believe that some people don’t pray.