[MickeyRooney]
Me and the boys can build a stage!!
[/MickeyRooney]
Cheerfully enough, your Master of Ceremonies can also juggle.
No foolin’.
And a little guitar and some stand up comedy…
Where’s the spotlight! I want to check my blocking!
**Strippers!!!
We need strippers!!!**
I can wrestle some women and win underhandedly to retain my World Intergender Wrestling Championship while offering to marry any woman who can beat me.
Or, failing that, I can read The Great Gatsby aloud.
I found some strippers for you, Sweetie!
----:p/ x o x o x
----///\\
I can…no, wait, last time I did that I threw out my back.
Oh wait! I know! I’ll…no, can’t do that either. Last time I tried that, it ended up being outlawed in 17 states.
Um, I know I’ve got a talent here somewhere. I’ll get back to you. 
I almost forgot.
I can do cartwheels.
Carry on.
I can play the recorder, sing pirate transvestite songs, and juggle. Not all at the same time, of course. That would be weird.
It’s been done. Saw it on a porn site once.
Well, I play a slightly annoyed saxophone, a fairly vexed tin whistle, and a just plain pissed-off piano.
Plus I’ll design the programs and get them printed.
There’s MORE than one?
There’s ONE?
Hey, :wally
That’s MY turf, bub.
oho ohhhhh, I juggle with the best of 'em. Five balls, 7 if I’m outside and can throw high enough.
I can also walk on my hands (feet in the air style)
I also can turn my tounge upsidedown[sub] maybe this will finally get superdude to flirt with me [/sub], but that’s typically reserved for the SO… ah, heck, anything for the SDMB
Do I get to wear my Mime costume?? (yeah, i admit it. I used to be one of those…please forgive me… i was in college… money was tight…)
sic
Okay, I can tap dance. Would a tap dancing stripper be TOO tacky?
Well, I play an extremely dissappointing trumpet. Maybe we could all get together and form the SD jazz band. Can you paly the sax and the piano at the same time 
I’ll do some wicked Irish dancing for you all. Colin Dunne, eat your heart out.
Hey, where will this be held? Does someone have a hall for rent? Could Scylla loan us a barn?
Alas, I have no talents to contribute, unless someone wants to set up an MST3K-style movie room. I’m fairly good at mocking crappy movies.
Hey, Smashed Ice Cream, how you doing? Didn’t know you wanted me to flirt with you. Come here often? What’s your sign?
Like that’s really a big deal. One of my male friends can do that 
I used to be excellent at crab-walking, although ACL surgery and two years of college may have hurt that ability a little. Looks like it’s time to start training…
Weird?
Oh gawd no, man, that would be stupendous!
I’ve seen it done.
Okay, so it was a cartoon, but it can be done.
[sub]And I don’t think it was pirate transvestite songs, but you get the idea[/sub]
Let’s see, so far we have:
Jonathan Chance- MC and juggler
iampunha- cartwheels and his horizontal hand stand
blur- ear wiggler
spiratu- wounded crab walker
HerMajestyLorna- contortionist
Orators- Rysdad and Cajun Man
Ace309- intergender wrestling
chique- cow milking, with help from lno
Superdude- professional comedy
Smashed Ice Cream- juggling, hand walker and tongue contortionist
Abe Babe- porn surfer
heraldgwena and shera- mind readers
ShibbOleth- stage manager
The Dancers- Zyada, saffostarr, ZeGirl, FireUnderpantsBoobs
The BAND- Spider Woman, greenlady, racinchikki, Gaspode, Ethilrist, Tygr, heraldgwena
True Pisces- soloist
Ballybay- inhouse heckler
Amazing Tiki God, techchick68- technical support
persephone- oral support
If anybody feels they can do more, please tell.