Note: a VA Disability Pension is a different thing from VA Disability Pay.
Disability pay, also called service-related disability, is based upon time in service and rank at time of separation. It is then modified by the degree of impairment imposed by the disability. It can be as much as 100% disability, or it may be some lower fraction. A service member is eligible for this no matter when or where s/he served, so long as the injury (defined very loosely) is service related.
VA Disability Pension, is a different program. This is a program available only to veterans who have served during various authorized times of war. (Granted some of those qualifying periods are a bit… strained - such as IIRC, the Panama Invasion.) For this pension the veteran doesn’t have to prove any service connection to his or her inability to work - rather they need only prove to the VA that they are genuinely unable to find work, because of some medical condition. The pay scale for this is generally far less than that for Disability Pay, and is comparable to what someone on SSID would get. The medical qualifications for the two programs are generally similar (I won’t claim a one-to-one correspondence), but because of the difference in the way the two programs are administered, it may be both faster and less frustrating to qualify for the VA disability pension - provided one meets the service time requirement.
Especially when dealing with debilitating mental illness, the SS office has a reputation for denying most claims on the first pass, then requiring a years long appeal process to get approval. Which can make applying for the VA Disability Pension look very attractive, compared to going through SSID.
Excellent pitting. Could use some more background. How did he get there? Does he have a plan to ever leave?
I’ve been there, sort of, with a step child who wouldn’t do anything and my wife couldn’t take the steps necessary to get him moving. I hate to say it but consoling helped us. It helped my wife see the situation more clearly and let me express myself without it turning into a big fight. Because a freeloader will gladly take everyone down with them before they will resort to actually working.
I like the idea of canceling cable - cut off internet access too. It’s not like you can use these when you are at work.
I thought the line about tossing another $20 on the fire as the cost of entertainment was one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. Bravo!
I am sorry you are having such a problem with him, but I don’t think all of the suggestions made here are going to work. If you cut off his cable, he might be able to find things like Hulu using the browser on your Adobe Ubuntu Windows computer.
What would be really funny is to set up some sort of time-based redirector so that, when you and your wife are at work, the only thing your network would allow him to reach is Monster.com or CareerBuilder.com.
I keep telling my sister to do that. Her MIL lives with them, does nothing but watch tv and eat, and makes the house so uncomfortable with her manufactured drama that my sis and BIL spend as much time away as they can. (The last time I was there visiting MIL came out of her room to scream at me, for what reason I still have no idea, so now I don’t like to visit my sis anymore.) She’s an able bodied 55 year old woman who hasn’t worked in the last five years, has no money, fritters away whatever money she gets her hands on, has no intention of ever getting a job (and has no job skills anyway), and will live with my sister and BIL until one of them dies.
It’s not so much the leeching that’s a problem, it’s the leeching without any motivation to do anything about it.