I need to get this off my chest.
Several weeks ago, my 80 year old father in law requested one of my my sisters in law to organize the rest of his four kids to provide him with regular payments into his bank account of $25 each. No question that we are going to do it, but considering his past it really galls me.
This man has always had a spending problem. My wife tells me that when she was growing up, her parents were always "borrowing " money from his long time widowed mother in law whom I met in a nursing home (he’s been “borrowing” from us for years). It wasn’t that he wasn’t making enough money. For example one year he bought himself an expensive camera and accessories. When his wife told him they couldn’t afford it, he said he would rather give up his car than the camera. This from a travelling salesman which he was at the time. Oh sure. In a time when most families were on one income, his wife who had TB in her earlier years had to work outside the home to make ends meet.
Well after his wife died 25 years ago, he sold his house, the cabin, quit his lucrative government job as a director of an alcohol recovery centre and at the age of 55 enrolled in a university. Right on you might say unless you have a chance to understand his motivation. Both his brothers have successful careers resulting from a university education. Now he is as good as them. Oh, I should mention that he bought himself a brand new 1200 cc Honda touring motorcycle with all the bells and whistles at that time.
My FIL is a suave man. He loves to dance. Since my MIL died he’s gone through a slew of girl friends. The ones we hope he sticks with are discarded. More recently, quite often he would travel all over western Canada with his girl friends in his diesel volkwagon, either a brand new Westphalia, brand new diesel Rabbit and two years ago his brand new diesel Golf.
Well here’s where hes at now. Eighty years hold, with Canadian government pensions, living in a subsidized small apartment paying $250 a month. The problem is that his most recent girl friend and likely the last, has moved away 60 miles and he must visit her every weekend. Compounding that problem for him his the substantial increase in diesel prices now higher than gasoline. He has absolutely no assets considering his car is financed.
But what irks me as well is that a lot of people think he is a great guy. He is absolutely fun to be around as long as there is someone else in the room besides his immediate family. This guy can tell stories like no one else. And joke like no one else. But when its just his kids around he relaxes and become morose.
Another problem I have with him is his inability to refrain from commenting on my wife’s and daughters weight. Let me tell you they are all very attractive. Most recently he came to visit just before supper, and told my 14 year old daughter she was fat, which is utter bullshit. No I’m not she said. Yes you are he said.
It is only fair to me to mention that he does do volunteer work at the hospital counselling old people on wellness in their declining years. That allows him to utilize his university education. Considering what a mess he’s in right now I really find it ironic.
It has always been clear to me that in many ways my FIL was far more sophisticated than my own dad who died at the age of 81 several months ago. My dad was a semi-skilled non-union worker with almost zero people skills who most people would rather ignore. Yet, my mother and step mother never had to work outside the home. He had eight kids and worked his ass off to support them with long hours, and never spent a cent on himself until he comfortably retired. Even in his retirement years he donated and lent money to several of his kids. He may not have had the intelligence and personality that my FIL has, but let me tell you he has 100 times my respect.
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