Dueling scars.
/threadwinner
I perform live music and stand-up comedy. Those activities seem to start conversations with strangers well enough. I don’t worry too much about looks…usual attire is jeans + t-shirt when not at work.
I’m looking for a job. I figure that will increase my attractiveness to others enormously.
Which kind of douchebag are you?
I can cough up blood on command.
I staple my summary of yearly earnings to the front of my hat.
and avoid fancy bars.
I was all set to wear a Chinese dragon costume at a women’s curling tournament yesterday, but it fell through.
Seriously.
Meh…when you have these abs and pecs, you don’t have to worry about going shirtless!
Mmmm, I like my men like I like my coffee–weak and bloody.
I’ll have you know that I’ve bathed not just once, but twice this year.
How you doin’?
Bloody get your bloody coffee bloody out o’ here. Bloody yanks.
Hmmm, I like my women like I like my coffee…black and bitter. 
I don’t know about singly guys, but my lovely and long-suffering Wife really appreciates it when I dress to go out. Even if we are just going to Mustang Sally’s for the happy hour wings and sliders, if I wear a jacket and tie she looks like she’s landed a prosperous gentleman.
No one needs to know that I find my Brooks Brothers shirts for $5 at Goodwill.
In one of the Dress for Success books (I think the first one, not sure), the author says that it’s easy to look great if you go to an upscale department store and buy a high end shirt for a lot of money, but it takes skill to be able to pick out a shirt that makes you look good at the thrift shop.