The mirror of this thread. We’ve talked a lot about how women accidentally turn men off and I’m interested in hearing how men trip themselves up.
At least the last two are not primarily for the purposes of making themselves attractive to women.
Well, at least we’re gender consistent. If you don’t do those things to make yourself attractive to women, then you’re not the topic of the thread. Just like in the mirror thread.
I’ll second those, and add excessive cologne, greasy hair (whether unwashed hipster greasy or slicked overcoifed greasy) and bling.
That’s basically the same argument that people were using in the other thread, and I’m not buying it here, either.
My first reaction was bodybuilding, too - a guy who has muscles because he works at a manual job or because he plays sports or does woodworking or whatever is light years more attractive than a guy who spends four hours in the gym every day.
Hair plugs or combovers or hairstyles that are obviously trying to hide a thinning hair issue are all not achieving what their owners are aiming for.
Aftershave/cologne - if you must wear it, it should be the same rule as for women - no one should be able to smell it unless they are actually hugging you. And, Just Say No to Drakkar Noir (and Axe).
So far, I’m good.
Oh, I thought of another one - the highly-stylized, metrosexual look, where a guy spends more time and effort on his hair and clothes and look than I do. Although, thinking about it, those guys might not be trying to attract the ladies.
Bodybuilders posing without their shirts on, with the duck lips, fake tan, and flashing the peace sign, or the hang loose sign, or the heavy metal hand sign, or index finger up sign.
Bodybuilding, past a certain point. More is not always better. Same thing with cologne. Personally, I like a light scent on a man, but it should not track me down and demand my attention. Of course, the same thing goes for women’s scents, too. If I can smell you coming, or if I can tell you’ve been in a room a quarter of an hour after you left it, then you’re wearing too much.*
Combovers/backcombing can help very slightly thinning hair, but once the viewer notices it, it fails. And that time comes earlier than most will admit. Wearing tight clothes only works if the body is very, very well toned. Wearing tight clothes in an attempt to look smaller fails. Trust me on this. Ear and nose hair should not be visible to the casual viewer.
Smoking. I don’t care how cool you think it looks, almost all smokers smell. And they taste nasty.
*Sorta sweet but sad: I had an older guy who kept encroaching on my personal space. It turns out that I wear the same perfume as his dead wife did (Opium) and he just wanted to smell me. Didn’t want anything else, just the smell, but I apply the perfume lightly so he had to get pretty close. Opium is…pretty strong, so I’m careful with my usage. I love it, but I suspect that it could give people headaches if I put it on too heavily, even people who normally don’t get headaches from perfume.
“Bodybuilding” is being used here for what I believe should be “building muscle”. The two are NOT synonymous and the same.
Man here but I think the following count as “things men often do to make themselves more attractive to women but are overall counterproductive”:
Taking risks where the only reward is showing off your machismo for having taken the risk. E.g.: street car races and any number of fail videos you can see on Youtube.
Showy jewelry like a Rolex watch.
Talking about being a PUA.
All of these are sometimes done to prove something to other men, to oneself but also sometimes to women and I doubt more women are attracted than are repulsed.
I’m not guilty of a single one of these infractions against attractiveness.
All that tells me is you guys haven’t yet put together a very dependable list
Leaving too many shirt buttons unbuttoned.
How about being loud and obnoxious, especially about sex? Whistling at women, or trying to chat up complete strangers in the street?
Wearing so much hair gel that it can act as a hard hat? Sleeveless vests? Ridiculously ornate sideburns and facial hair? Strutting? Acting like you’re Springsteen because you can strum a few chords on a guitar?
After starting the other thread, I feel I should provide a little balance
From what I hear, women don’t like bloated muscle heads. Lean with muscles in a Olympic swimmer of Olympic diver kind of way is preferred. Fit/tone is preferred, too.
Really? Because I see Abercrombie and Fitch’s live model advertising campaigns are doing quite well.
Bragging about beating someone up or threatening/scaring them. Most boys and men who chat me up work a fight story into the first conversation. Doesn’t make you sound brave and strong; makes you sound combative and impulsive. If you want to know why I suddenly bailed on you and walked away without comment, it’s because you bragged about fighting.
Laying on the compliments too thick. I may have pretty eyes/nice smile or some other notable feature, but I’m not the most beautiful/hottest woman you’ve ever seen, and shame on you for underestimating my level of self awareness and self esteem.
Jewelry. It’s not your fault that Hollywood uses gold necklaces nestled in a thatch of chest hair to indicate sleaziness, but I’m stuck with that image. Same for rings and bracelets.
Man cleavage: button your shirt. Open collar is fine, but I don’t want to see your bare chest or chest hair until I’m in your bed.
And this one is unfair and my own personal preference: I find the IT Guy outfit overly stuffy and uptight. Pleated khakis cinched tight with a skinny belt paired with a tucked in Oxford shirt. It must be comfy business casual, (and I like smart guys), but something about the baggy pants/loosely fitting shirt and high, cinched waist seems asexual. Like Julia Sweeney’s Pat character.
The exaggerated str-e-t-ch and complaint about how sore your muscles are from working out or lifting all the heavy things? Just cracks me up. It doesn’t turn me off, it doesn’t turn me on, but my inner dialogue switches on the Betty Boop voice. “Ooo…you coitenly do seem off-ly strong you brute, I hope you don’t rough up my goodies when I swoon into your big, strong arms later.” [eyelashes] bat bat bat [/eyelashes]
Maybe we should do two corresponding threads for things we like; this just makes me feel mean and judgemental. Obviously the population growth hasn’t stalled so I’m sure plenty of women like the things I don’t.
What’s a PUA?