Damn you. As if your flagrant waste of electricity was not enough.
This morning I had to walk into the bathroom to find a used jimmy on the floor.
At first I felt bad, because I thought briefly that it could be mine.
Then I realized I did not, in fact, have sex in the bathroom last night.
And having only one roommate kind of narrows down the list of suspects.
Garr!! shakes fist
Hang it over his doorknob.
Ick, don’t touch it!!
Personally, I would put four tiny orange cones around it, with itty bitty hazard tape strung around them. A diminutive “biological hazard” sign would be a nice touch as well.
Drop on his face while he’s sleeping. Use tweezers to pick it up, if you’re concerned about germs and whatnot.
whatnot? WHATNOT? I wouldn’t be so worried about what’s inside the condom, but Good Lord, who knows what’s on the outside!!! Where’s my Hazmat suit? 