Condoms. Yes condoms. For the past 2 or 3 weeks my front yard has smelled vaguely of condoms. I don’t get it, and its starting to irritate me.
I guess it COULD be worse. I could have the fresh smell of condoms mixed with the pungence of “sperm trees”.
Anybody else ever noticed this phenomenon?
New or used?
No, I’m pretty sure it’s just you, Whammo. Have you complained to the City? If you do, would you please post that phone transcript? 
Perhaps the Latex Fairy has been burying all of the used condoms in your back yard.
Sure, don’t you know about the Latex Fairy? After you’re finished with a condom, you just put in under your…what? Doesn’t exist??
Oh crap. Excuse me, I’ve got to go…make a sandwitch…or something.
Dude, thats gross. I would never put a used condom under my pillow. It goes under HERS.
Whammo, that’s disgusting…and also hilarious. 