I pit you, asshole houseguest!

The BBQ Pit
1

I didn’t mind you oh-so-coyly letting me know that you were having sex with your girlfriend. I didn’t even really mind you letting me know when you were having sex with your girlfriend. I just laughed and thought you were kinda sad and seeking attention.

I didn’t mind (all that much) that you used all the toilet paper and didn’t put a new roll on.

I did mind when you walked into my bedroom in the morning, in only tighty-whities, without knocking, while I say laying in bed with someone.

But I sure as hell minded when you left a fucking used condom on my bathroom counter. I would have counted my weekend quite complete without you getting your cocksnot all over my damn bathroom.

And when I left a note in the bathroom asking you to clean up your damn mess, you ignored it. You got up out of bed, used the bathroom again, saw that your host was asking you to remove your diseased seed from the counter, and just went back to sleep.

I’ve never had my hospitality abused like that, and you’re the only guest I’ve ever thrown out of my home.

Asshole.

P.S. I didn’t invite him. Blame Nevermore

2

[stupid] Damn… preview… I “was laying in bed” or “sat in bed” Pick and choose. [/stupid]

3

Ugh…you poor thing, that’s just…eeeeuuuuw!

4

I’m thinking if you sat laying in bed you are some kind of contortionist. And I hope that when you threw him out you literally threw him out. And called his momma bad names. And made it clear to him that there is no excuse for bad manners and that Michael Moore and George W. will be doing the horizontal bebop long before he is welcome in your home again.

5

I just want to take this opportunity to thank you for an image that will, no doubt, haunt me until the end of my days.

6

I exist only to serve.

7

That’s just nasty.

8

Which one, NurseCarmen? The used condom or the thought of Moore and Bush…I can’t even finish typing it.

[Ron White]Things that make you go…bleeeechhh[/Ron White]

9

Damn. I wouldn’t leave a used condom on my own counter, let alone someone else’s. How disgusting!

10

CanvasShoes: Yes… ewwwwwwwwwww indeed. Did I mention that the condom was discolored by blood along with his filthy idiot seed?

trandallt: I’m generally a very easy going kinda guy, and in part due to a rough childhood I really hate getting angry. There’s also the fact that when I do get angry, I freakin’ loose it, big time.

I was ready to drag his ass out of bed at four in the morning, hand him some cleaning supplies, then throw him out and his belongings after him. As it is, I just had Nevermore, whose friend he is, call him and tell him to get out of our home by 9:00 am, sharp.

I couldn’t even stay in the apartment because I knew I’d end up screaming my head off at him and physically throwing his ass out if he resisted leaving. I went to UT campus till 8:30 am at which point I returned and pointedly ignoring him, went into my room, and locked the door.

He had the good sense not to knock on my door.
(and I think he has the good sense not to even try asking to stay in my home again)

NurseCarmen Yes, yes it is.

whiterabbit I don’t even understand how it could have happened. I assume he wasn’t smart enough to keep some tissues in ‘his’ room in order to wad up any used condoms before immediately throwing them away… (not to mention the used condoms he left on the floor of ‘his’ room, oh-so-cleverly tucked into their wrappers. )

~shivers~ Good gods… now I’ve got a mental picture of him walking down the hallway, naked except for a condom and, leisurely, removing his condom and placing it on the counter for safe keeping, or maybe a midnight snack if he needed more protein… or maybe he just thought that ‘stale cum and blood’ is a decorating choice I’d have made on my own.

Why the fuck didn’t he throw it out! We do keep a garbage in the bathroom.

11

I dunno…this seems a bit more psycho than arseholish. It’s like he intended for you to be fully aware of his sexual activity, like some sort of perverted exhibitionism.

In other words, it seems more creepy than gross to me (notwithstanding the complete grossness of course).

:frowning:

12

That’s what I thought too!

It was almost like he was saying “Look! Look at me! I put my penis into a vagina!”

So yes, on retrospect, the creepy factor is gaining but last night the gross factor far outweighed it.

13

I’m confused here, maybe because I’m larger than the average guy but I’ve always had the rule:

Leave a used condom on my counter and I punch your face a lot. Then you clean it up or I go back to -punch your face a lot-

14

As disgusting, sick, and vile as a used condom on the counter can be, at least it is easily cleaned up. I had a houseguest a few summers ago who was into “aromatherapy”. Her fucking stinkoils were soaked into the bedding and the mattress in the guest room - I had to have the mattress professionally cleaned.

I’d trade a few peckertracks for that ordeal any day.

15

BubbaDob: I’m 6’0" and about 240 pounds, not all of it muscle, but not all of it fat either. I try not to be violent if I can help it, especially since once I start seeing red my judgment kinda goes out the window. I didn’t wanna put my fist (or his head) through a wall.

Uvula Donor I grok… I guess I’d have to have gotten a whiff of her oily mess in order to be able to rate the two side by side. But, simply as a personal prefrence, I’d be pissed off about someone ruining my mattress, but more disgusted by a bag o’ cocksnot left (open side down) on my counter. Proabably more pissed off by it too… at least with oils someone can claim ignorance, what excuse is there to even put a damn condom down on the counter?

And… cleaning up a used condom may, theoretically be easier… that is until you’d actually have to get out the papers towels and mop up someone else’s cum.

16

Every once in awhile I’m very, VERY pleased that I share my house with lesbians.

Now is DEFINITELY one of those times.
Ick ick ick. You shoulda picked it up (with a dishwashing glove on, of course) and flung it at his head.

17

Sorry, I didn’t mean my post to sound as dismissive as it did. What your guest did is just plain filthy. Surprised you didn’t make him eat it.

18

I’ll echo the above statements, and I’ll also applaud you for actually kicking his ass out. So many pit thread sound like this, and are followed by forty posts asking, “yeah, so, uh, why the hell is he still in your home?” followed by some lame-ass excuse (“Well, he’s my husband’s cousin’s son-in-law…”). Kudos for booting the bum.

19

Malkavia: Sharing a house with lesbians wouldn’t have helped, as this was an invited guest. Be wary! This could happen to you! ~ominous music and thunder~

On a side note, is your screenname from Clan Malkavian?

Uvula Donor: Dont’ sweat it. You certainty didn’t come off as dismissive, just as putting forward another point of view, which I always appreciate, even when I don’t agree.

Troy McClure SF: Thanks much. I was fit to be tied, I couldn’t even contemplate letting someone like that stay in my home.

20

I may have to make this a sign in my apartment. Well, not the used condom thing, but you know, leave a blank to fill in whatever happens to incur my ire.