Well, it’s official –
After many months of trying to be a gentleman and not get mad at you because you stayed with me for 2 years, signed a lease on a townhome, and THEN told me that you were a lesbian out of the blue, on top of all the other shit you put me through, I am calling you a bitch.
“Who? Me?” You say? Yes, you - you selfish, ungrateful little shit-eater.
How DARE you get mad at ME ! And for what, because I decided that I’d rather stay home and get a little rest instead of going to your goddam brother’s family birthday party that you told me about 5 minutes ago? Oh, well excuse me, what an asshole I am. Nevermind that since you couldn’t be troubled to get off your fat, lazy ass for 5 seconds to come downstairs to get the breakfast I spent half an hour making you and the coffee I had to run out to get you - I was nice enough to bring it upstairs to you without complaining about it. Nevermind that I’m the one who ends up paying 95% of the bills because you can’t hang onto your lousy paycheck for 5 minutes without blowing it all on some obscure records that you’re never going to listen to. Nope, no issues there! So why don’t you just stomp off in a huff and walk your self-centered ass over to MY car that I make the payments on AND pay the insurance on, despite the fact that it’s 4x higher than it should be because of YOUR crappy driving record. Oh yeah, I’m a total jerk.
Well, this is it hobag, no more Mr. Nice Guy. I’ve put up with enough of your bullshit and I’m sick and fucking tired of your incessant whining and nagging, and I’m not fucking playing this game anymore. Being diplomatic about things is no longer going to work. You’re losing your car privileges, and you’re going to start carrying your own weight around here until I can kick your lazy, selfish ass out in a few months when the lease expires.
So FUCK YOU, OK? You hear that? Yeah, I’m not going to sit around and take your shit anymore just because I think it might be easier if we’re not at each other’s throats for the duration of this lease.
I feel better now.