After many months of trying to be a gentleman and not get mad at you because you stayed with me for 2 years, signed a lease on a townhome, and THEN told me that you were a lesbian out of the blue, on top of all the other shit you put me through, I am calling you a bitch.
“Who? Me?” You say? Yes, you - you selfish, ungrateful little shit-eater.
How DARE you get mad at ME ! And for what, because I decided that I’d rather stay home and get a little rest instead of going to your goddam brother’s family birthday party that you told me about 5 minutes ago? Oh, well excuse me, what an asshole I am. Nevermind that since you couldn’t be troubled to get off your fat, lazy ass for 5 seconds to come downstairs to get the breakfast I spent half an hour making you and the coffee I had to run out to get you - I was nice enough to bring it upstairs to you without complaining about it. Nevermind that I’m the one who ends up paying 95% of the bills because you can’t hang onto your lousy paycheck for 5 minutes without blowing it all on some obscure records that you’re never going to listen to. Nope, no issues there! So why don’t you just stomp off in a huff and walk your self-centered ass over to MY car that I make the payments on AND pay the insurance on, despite the fact that it’s 4x higher than it should be because of YOUR crappy driving record. Oh yeah, I’m a total jerk.
Well, this is it hobag, no more Mr. Nice Guy. I’ve put up with enough of your bullshit and I’m sick and fucking tired of your incessant whining and nagging, and I’m not fucking playing this game anymore. Being diplomatic about things is no longer going to work. You’re losing your car privileges, and you’re going to start carrying your own weight around here until I can kick your lazy, selfish ass out in a few months when the lease expires.
So FUCK YOU, OK? You hear that? Yeah, I’m not going to sit around and take your shit anymore just because I think it might be easier if we’re not at each other’s throats for the duration of this lease.
TeleTronOne, I think the band Offspring knows your girlfriend. They even wrote a song about her. (I know that you said that she has a job, but since you pay 95% of the bills, I think these lyrics work.)
Lyrics removed - Coldfire
Good luck, TeleTronOne. If, in the future, you find your resolve waivering, come back and read what you wrote.
Point taken. Although it is slightly depressing that The Offspring seem to have more talent for analyzing my life’s little hiccups than all those high-priced therapists. I’ll have to go see even higher priced ones to get over THAT
I should have known somebody would misinterpret this. Alright, for the record - the simple fact that she is (or at the very least, claims to be) a lesbian has no bearing on any feelings of dislike/anger I may hold towards her. The fact that she must have had some inkling of these supposed tendencies for some time, and that she stayed with me for 2 years, after reassuring me MULTIPLE times in her most sincere and genuine demeanor that she was, in fact NOT a lesbian (there had been speculation on this beforehand)- and then signed a 1-year lease on a townhome with me in which I presumed that we would be living as a romantically involved couple. She of course had to wait until about a month after that to spring it on me.
In the grand scheme of things, I could care less if she’s straight, bi, gay, or has a thing for those gray guys with the big eyes who come down and land in the parking lot at night. It was just one of those things where I was like “And you had to wait until NOW to tell me this?” She’d get a little more slack if she was one of those people who felt ashamed/embarrased/etc. about the whole thing, but she seems more proud of it than anything else, so I really doubt that’s the case.
It was the event that made me realize that, yep, we’re through.
So, to sum up, it’s the circumstances surrounding the whole lesbian thing (not necissarily those ones that directly relate to sexual orientation) that I’m ticked off about, not the fact that she IS a lesbian.
So, did that come out right at all, or did I come off as being some sort of homophobic jackass?
