Oh look, the bitch is back.

The BBQ Pit
1

She’s turned up again. I can’t fucking believe it. I open my inbox and there it is - an email from my ex-girlfriend. Heart in throat, I open it. She’s just being friendly - oh look, she’s living with someone else now (and her new gf has a daughter! They have a dog! How cute!). You bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch queen from hell. You two-faced, cheating, bullying, manipulative bitch.

Bullying, floozy-baiting, tormenting, frightening, destroying bitch.

I’m happy. Fuck off. I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, I don’t give a fuck if you’ve changed. What you are in my mind is the person who made me feel like a worthless piece of shit. What you are to me is someone who i was too frightened to breathe around in case you disapproved. You turned me into a victim and I accepted that role and I hate you even more for that. I was willingly humiliated and good god you walked away anyway. I worshipped you, everyone does. You’re Heather; Miss Life and Soul, Miss Funny, Miss Funky, Miss Two-faced Whore from Hell.

It’s been three years now. Three years! I’ve spent the last two of those three years with a wonderful man. Yes that’s right, a man. You can go fuck yourself with a spike with your “I don’t believe in bisexuality” shit. I had to lie to you and to myself for all the time we were together - one more grain in the desert of eroded self-respect you caused. And I’m self-aware enough to know that I didn’t have to accept that. But i did, and you played on my weaknesses. You used my insecurities and you bullied away any sign of resistance. You slept with other women and then came home and shared our bed, wouldn’t let me in the kitchen, wouldn’t let me go out. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I hope you drown in the pit of guilt that keeps leading you to get in contact with me. You can say sorry for the rest of your life and you’ll still be the person who almost destroyed me.

Almost destroyed me. But I’m back now, baby. I have a job, I have a healthy relationship with a wonderful partner, I’m getting fit, I’m in control. That, more than anything, is my fuck you to you. Except that it’s not even that any more. Apart from times like these, when you suddenly appear back in my life, I’m indifferent to your existance. You have no bearing on my life, you have no control over me, I don’t care if you sink or swim. You’re still a bitch queen from hell though.

Fran

2

PS - My apologies to all those who saw the thread title and came rushing in rubbing their hands with glee at the thought of a juicy in-SDMB flame. ( :wink: )

3

  1. I hope you feel better. It’s usually best to let it out, and also to move on.

  2. There are only certain posters who can rub me with their hands (actually it’s quite a long list…)

4

Please, tell me you e-mailed this back to her!

5

YOU GO, GIRL! The saying goes, “Living well is the best revenge”. I can understand what you’ve been through- I was in a relationship where the guy broke up with his long-time g.f. to date me, then after a while he broke it off and we still saw each other, then he got back together with her but was still screwing me on the side! And I let it happen. But I took it because that was where I was at that time in my life. The best thing that you can take away from this experience is that it has made you a stronger person.
Good songs to listen to when you’re feeling angry:
“Human Nature” by Madonna (“I’m not your bitch, don’t hang your shit on me”)
“That’s Just the Way it is, Baby” by The Rembrandts
“You Oughta Know” by Alannis Morrissette
“Troy” by Sinead O’Connor
“Precious Things” by Tori Amos

6

moggy, I find that Offspring’s “Why Don’t You Get a Job” does it pretty well, too:)

Fran, your ex and xenophon’s ex should get together. Hoo baby the shit THAT’d cause.

As for not believing in being bi . . . my roommate didn’t either, until I sorta convinced him. “No, it’s not that we don’t know what we want, it’s that we know EXACTLY what we want!”

[sub]Did anyone else think this was going to be another Anal Mary thread?[/sub]

7

Francesca,

I really hope you didn’t respond to your ex’s email, and I hope you never will.

Sounds to me like if you needed to rant about being contacted, this person is still under your skin and makes you angry. That means she’s still got some control. Any sign you care in any way will give her satisfaction she doesn’t deserve.

Try hard to let it all go. I’m sure you know the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference, and it’s wonderful when you can truly say to yourself - “I don’t give a shit about this person anymore, they aren’t worth it.” And then forget about them forever. You’ll know you are there when you are contacted again and it doesn’t mean a thing one way or another. People who want control will continue to try to contact you until they realize you really don’t care anymore and they can’t suck any more emotion out of you. Then they simply work on other victims …

8

Naww… the ULTIMATE song in this situation is I Will Survive, by Gloria Gaynor. The version done by Cake a few years ago is fan-fucking-tastic.

Don’t play The Bitch’s games. Ignore her like the slug slime she is.

9

glee - yes I did feel a little better after that thank you.

Nimune - No, i didn’t email it to her. I’m nice. No, really.

moggy - Thank you. I do, indeed, go. I listened to a lot of Ani DiFranco after the breakup, but I have no need for breakup songs now. I’m happy now!

iampunha - Well i know what I want. (BTW - i think we’re long overdue another “iampunha’s roomate” story).

romansperson - Thank you for your concern. My outburst was spurred by the shock of suddenly seeing her name in my inbox. In general, I’m quite indifferent to her nowadays. But I do think it’s perfectly normal to have a residue of emotion about those who played such a dramatic and influential role in your life. I certainly won’t forget her, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I did learn a lot after all. Thinking about doesn’t give her any power over me - it gives me power over her. I’m free to think what i like - that’s power and I know it drives her crazy because she keeps trying to talk to me and to get me to tell her that i forgive her and that I like her. Well, I don’t and I don’t have to. But the vast majority of the time the only thing time i think of her is in passing (which incidently has lead to a rather unfortunate avoidance of pigs. Heather loved pigs.). She gets a big old “Nyeh” and a shrug from me.

Kamandi - actually, at the moment i’m finding “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child bizarrely inspirational. Normally I wouldn’t like that sort of thing, but that song really gets me going when I’m down the gym.

Fran

10

Superb rant! A solid 9.5, which includes the international judge.

:smiley:

[sub]Allow me to add my voice to the chorus urging you to ignore her–obviously she sent you the thing 'cause it bugs her that she let you off the hook. If you wiggle, she’ll know you’re still there. Chill.[/sub]
:wink: