Being called out is a bitch, innit?

The BBQ Pit
1

I just wanted to get some things clear from our little phone convo the other day.

You wanted me and your boyfriend to spend more time together so we could all get used to being friends?

How considerate! Having a guy who likes you hanging out with your boyfriend who resents his presence? Yeah, that’s cool. It’s like having two scorpions under a glass to see what happens.
It’s perverse to treat people this way. It’s greedy and it’s a sick game. You wanted to play me off of your boyfriend to make him feel insecure and make me feel jealous; all over you, so you could watch it unfold.
The reason you’re mad at me is because I exposed it and now you won’t get to have your fun anymore, will you? Man, that sucks too because you probably thought you’d be able to string me along for the next 2 years, huh?

One of two things was going on:

  1. You genuinely liked me and wanted to spend time with me, but I jumped the gun. Like I should have waited in the wings until you were through with your boyfriend. But the best part about being me is I don’t have to settle for that. So I called you out.
  2. You never liked me but were just using me as a wedge between you and your boyfriend to make him insecure and make me jealous and pining.

Either way, it is perverse or its mean-spirited, you egomaniac. You are perverted, you are a social pervert. And don’t even say that it’s all in my head. The non-stop flirting, the looks, the gestures, the calls, the time spent together, the complaining about your boyfriend… all of it paints a picture, got me?

In your onslaught, you said that I should have more respect for the girl I just started seeing; that she’s a “good girl”.

You mean the same Lauren you called a hobag the day before? Yeah, she is a good girl, but since I told you I’d prefer to be with you, you decided to try and embarrass me by yelling at me on the phone a few days later. All because I didn’t show up at happy hour? I said I wouldn’t feel comfortable with you and Adam there and you blew up in front of our mutual friends? (So now everybody knows everything.)

But why did you get so angry? Why did you care so much? Why did you call me against your best friend’s judgment and yell? I’ve never been talked to like that before… did you have it rehearsed, or did you read from a script? That’s what I’m assuming since I couldn’t slide a word in edgewise.

And then you call me immature. Yeah, being honest about my feelings is real immature. You’re the guilty party there – playing guys off each other for sick fun is not graduate student behavior; that’s 7th grade stuff and I didn’t appreciate it. Let’s face it, you screwed the pooch, chicky.

But that’s why I called you out, isn’t it? I wonder what you’ll do for entertainment now that you only have your gauky, snake-eyed boyfriend to faun all over you. It’s OK though, I’ve seen your true colors. You’ve revealed yourself to me.

I’ll do you a favor and make it real easy to put this behind us. It won’t be awkward in class, or whenever I run into you. I don’t know you anymore. You aren’t even an acquaintance. You are dust on the wind, and I’m backed up baby. I’m floppy.
I don’t consider you worthy of my attention anymore, and may God help that pussy-whipped lacky boyfriend of yours wake up before you suck his soul dry.

I must have a horseshoe up my ass for being saved from an impending dry hump of a relationship you’d give me until you’d dump me for the next dolt who looks your way. See ya in class, ho.

2

Slut.

3

Can everyone please stop using words like “ho” and “slut.” They make you sound ignorant and sexist.

But more importantly:

Good on you ! You don’t need to be treated like that. You’re not a toy for some messed up woman’s ego to play with. Let her go.

4

You say “Slut” like it’s a bad thing.

5

So does the girl you are now seeing think that you and here are in a serious relationship or does she know that you aren’t really over this other girl? I doubt it would be much fun for the new girl to be going out with someone who simply settled for her.

6
7

ParentalAdvisory

Me too. It demonstrates thought, instead of knee-jerk idiocy.

8

Man, that one hit just a little too close to home.

9

Blackclaw:

Yes, that’s a good point. The girl I’m currently seeing doesn’t know that I felt this way about this other girl.

I needed to know there was no chance with the “skank ass biatch” until I could really put my heart into my current relationship.

But am I blowing this out of proportion? This is uncommon behavior, yes?

10

I don’t know. Kinda sounds like the OP is a bit of an asshole as well. He’s with a ‘nice girl’ but goes after a girl just b/c she flirted with him.

11

Darkhold:

I literally just started dating this girl. Two dates. I’ve known the other girl for months in a steadily-elevated back and forth flirting situation.

I’m just sayin’ is all.

12

Do slattern and trollop make one sound learned and sexist?

13

Winky Dinky Ho Cakes!
Hos gotta eat, too!

14

Acco40,

Fair enough. I’m glad you seem like you don’t want to play mind games with everyone. Hope it works out for you.

15

I had a very similiar situation in which I was the girl you describe. Except I wasn’t “playing two guys off each other” nor was I an “egomaniac” who “was socially perverse”.

Is it possible that this girl is genuienly confused? That your feelings are so hurt that you can’t see that? That you are hiding your hurt behind anger?

[moral] Do your damnest to never remain friends with someone who says they “like” you when you don’t return the feelings. The friendship will one day self destruct at much emotional cost to you. Never remain friends with one who you find you have unrequited feelings for-see above.[/moral]

16

Simon, I’m with you, derivative insults are definately not the way to go here. Use Whore, instead of ho, for instance. Trollop, rather than slut, and so on.

NoClueBoy…Have we forgotten about the ho-ho?

Acco. Ya did the right thing here chap, just walking away in silence may have been seen as a compromise on your part. Good for you, and what ever you do, give this horrible wench not one more minute of your life.

If you wake up one day, and she’s standing over you naked with a bucket of hot fudge sauce, a can of whipped cream and a leather riding crop, your duty is to turn her away, press charges if necessary, but don’t give in, she’s better off in the wind.

17

Good move Acco, let her go. Forcing the guy you’re dating to spend time with the guy who declared his feelings for you so they can “get used to each other”? Puh-leese. Ego-check on isle 3 please.

And I agree with torie, there’s just no sense in remaining friends with someone who either has feelings for you that you don’t have for them or vice versa. Someone is bound to get hurt. Also, why would you want to put yourself through that anyway? I could think of little worse than pining away for someone while watching them happily (or unhappily) with another.

18

Way to cut it short. Shit like that can go on for years. Or umm so I’m told…

[hugs Algorithm ] So this is what it sounds like when doves cry… sob.

19

Wot’s wrong wif bein’ sexy?

20

[Ian Faith]
You should have seen the cover they wanted to do.
[/Ian Faith]

But about the OP: If you have posted previously about this woman, forgive me for jumping in without knowing the full story. Out of curiosity, what specifically invalidates option #3, which is

  1. She genuinely wants you to be her friend, which involves laughing, having a good time, calling on the phone, and hanging out, but she does not want you to be her boyfriend; and she genuinely wants you to be part of her life, part of which includes the boyfriend she’s chosen? How do you know that this isn’t the “let’s just be friends” part of the relationship (which you are too stiff-necked to accept) where she asks you to continue to maintain a supportive and loving friendship (which you refuse to do)? How do you know she isn’t angry at you because you took her honest and sincere intentions of friendship and completely misinterpreted it into paranoid speculation of bitchness and trampitude? Are you sure this isn’t just bitterness on your part where you decide that if you can’t have the whole woman completely to yourself that you will venomously revile her to everyone you meet and shun her company forevermore? Is there no middle ground?

I’m jus’ sayin’, is all. I don’t know if there is more to the situation in previous posts, so forgive me if the evidence for her complete unworth as a human being has already been demonstrated.

FISH