Dear Sammy,
Listen, you 'roided freakshow… we are all sick and tired of your “Sammy hop”, not to mention your two-finger kiss-and-blow routine. Please. Stop. Now.
I can’t believe that an opposing pitcher hasn’t taken offense to your antics and pumped a 95 mph fastball into your earhole.
I lothe you. If the owners get random drug testing, two-finger kiss-and-blow your ass goodbye.