Dear Sammy,
Listen, you 'roided freakshow… we are all sick and tired of your “Sammy hop”, not to mention your two-finger kiss-and-blow routine. Please. Stop. Now.
I can’t believe that an opposing pitcher hasn’t taken offense to your antics and pumped a 95 mph fastball into your earhole.
I lothe you. If the owners get random drug testing, two-finger kiss-and-blow your ass goodbye.
Is he allowed some Preparation H?
Yeah! Twice, even!
I don’t know why, but that thread title has me in giggle fits. Man, if I could just get past this “asses are funny” thing.
And this:
Sounds very vaguely obscene. And erotic. And I’ve probably said too much.
OK, now I’m not the only one. This sounded, ah, euphemistic.
You’re comparing Sammy Sosa to Edward II?
Esprix
Wasn’t there some dude in one of those Chaucer stories that got a poker in his ass? We got to read the dirty ones since we were in the advanced class 
I guess asses are funny though. I mean, that “boot in yer ass” 9/11 song was pretty funny, but not in the way the author wanted.
Really. He so roided 
Thread should be “…up your ass with a red-hot polka!”
Its sublime and rhymes better.
My pet suffers from dyslexia and a Christ complex.
Reminds me of George Carlin:
If I were a major-league pitcher (well, American League, anyway), I would be tempted to drill Jim Thome, what with that habit he has of slowly pointing his bat out toward the mound during his bat-waggling routine.
Maybe if I was a very large American League pitcher…
If someone did stick a red hot poker up his ass, maybe he’d chase a fly ball once in a while.
He plays outfield like he’s on a lounge chair with a drink in his hand.
Of course, you have certified proof that he is on steroids, right?
Right?
CITE PLEASE.
Personally I can’t believe that an opposing pitcher hasn’t taken offense to Rickey Henderson’s antics.
Eh, as slow as Thome runs, and as dumb as he is, you could be halfway to Haiti before he even took a step towards the mound.
Sammy’s “antics” are not meant to show up the pitcher. I’ve never even heard of a pitcher (or any other player for that matter)taking offense. IIRC, the two-fingered thing is for his mother.
Think about it; you know what happens to a guy with a reputation for being too big for his britches up at the plate. Sammy rarely catches one in the ear.
He’s not a great fielder, but I don’t consider him a loafer. He runs them out. He tries.
Their ‘evidence’ is that he has muscles and can hit the ball a long way. Hard to argue with that kind of logic.
:rolleyes: That’s me glancing up at spooje’s post. My sarcasm detector had to be set to the ‘subtle’ setting before displaying spooje is in Baseball Heaven.
Sammy has Hustle. I won’t get to see him this year till the Cubs come to Shea late September. But I’ve been to Chicago and seen (and joined in) the cheering that dude gets when he sprints into Right Field.
The Cubs fans know, at least when Kerry Wood heads for the mound and Sammy sprints into the outfield - that today they have a damn good chance of winning.
As a lifelong Cubs fan, this is difficult to say…
Sammy blows on defense. Compare him to Jim Emonds of the Cardinals. When’s the last time Sammy dove for a ball? How many times does he misjudge? He should be used to the conditions at Wrigley by now.
Sammy Sosa went from being a .200 hitter who struck out all the time to a 60 home run powerhouse how fast?
Sorry, not buying it. Something’s not right–roids, HGH, corked bat, something. And yes, I am sick to death of all the cutesy things he does. Also, if he played outfield like that for the Phillies, he would have been clocked with a battery a couple years ago.
Slight hijack, but I’d also like to know where the hell Brett Boone came from. He’s sneaking under the Bonds and Sosa radar of “hey, maybe this guy’s on roids”.
Over the course of a few years. The main reason he is now a .300+ hitter is becuase he has trained himself to become much more disciplined at the plate. Used to, you couldn’t walk him if you tried. Now, he doesn’t swing at too many pitches out of the strike zone.
That does more to explain the batting average than the home runs. I can’t really comment of the steroids thing because I just don’t know.
I do hope MLB begins to test for steroids.