hey, she was 18. yes i checked first.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

well, about bout 6 months ago, this young lady i know peripherally approached me with the idea of helping her with a “situation”. simply put, she wanted to get laid.

she was (yeah, WAS) a virgin, but really wanted to not be, and found the boys at her school interesting and cute but probably not capable of giving her the experience she wanted. she laid out her case perfectly: she wanted someone older, more experienced, she didn’t want to be fumbling around while both of them learn on the fly. looks were important, but also someone she thought capable of caring, generosity and patience who would respect her and care about her as a friend, especially after.

ok. i’m 45.

i said hey thanks but no thanks. i’m in a situation in my town where i have a “name” and people know me pretty well. being the old guy who did the cheerleader would be a lousy addition to my rep.

i should add that few men of ANY age would consider telling this girl no. just the cutest, sexiest thing you ever saw. small, thin, athletic, olive toned, big bambi looking eyes, long brown hair…

but we continued talknig - mostly via e-mail although she’d call from time to time. incredibly discreet on those occasions when we’d see each other in person, she was just one of the kids from school i know. (NO, if you’re wondering, i’m not a teacher or in any way associated with her school)

eventually i wore down. as i said, there was this huge physical attraction anyway, and the extended e-mails and phone calls let me get to know her enough to judge her maturity and sense of purpose. the girl has her head screwed on; she knows what she wants and went about getting it.

we made contingency after contingency. arranged a safe, secure place and time. she very sensibly asked me to provide test results, because she wanted no part of condoms for this, her first time (i’m spayed, and had to provide THAT result too, what fun - wanking for science).

yesterday was the big moment, and as it turned out, leading into the occasion we were both a bit terrified, yet once together, we were just fine.

i will not lie, i had a blast. it wasn’t cheap or tawdry, it never felt like “just” sex, although there was plenty of that crammed into the few hours we spent together. she met me at the appointed place, a relative’s place where she felt safe. we talked, had some water (hey, i’ll have sex with an 18 year old, but i’m not feeding her booze) and just kind of led into things naturally.

i said she was very pretty, she was absolutely amazing undressed. and shy at first, yet still very sure that she wanted to be there and do this. very possibly the most memorable sexual experience i’ve had, no shit.

now this morning, i found an incredible e-mail in my in-box. imagine, all you old farts like me, spending the afternoon with an 18 year old angel wrapped all over you, then in the morning finding an emphatic THANK YOU waiting for you. along with an invitation for more.

do i feel lousy because i defiled this little beauty, or do i feel good about the fact that i didn’t chase after her, but instead shared a nice experience with an unusually mature, self-confident young girl who asked for my cooperation? she did tell me today that what she wanted was for her first time to be a pleasant memory that will make her smile when she tells it at the sorority house someday, and thanked me for making it just that.

so dopers: scoundrel, or no?

2

Good for you for being gentle and leading her into her first time. Did she orgasm? Do you know how few women orgasm the first time around?

3

Nothing scoundrel-like about it. You took all the right precautions, made extra sure it was what she wanted, etc. Two consenting adults had a great time.

4

Is this from Penthouse Forum? You checked her driver liscence, right? She doesn’t have an older sister who looks remarkable similar does she? If everything is on the up and up, then Sir, you have quite possibly lived every (straight) man’s fantasy. She then thanked you and asked for more please? And then you have the audacity to ask if you are a scroundrel? You Sir, are a scroundrel of the highest order and should be proud of that fact.

And you are now my role model.

5

pardon me if this sounds like bragging, but, technically the FIRST time she did not. but she says she did the third time. and i tend to believe her, because it certainly appeared she did, and hey, why would she make that up?

oh, you mean women fake that? get out, i don’t believe that.

6

“i should add that few men of ANY age would consider telling this girl no.”

Don’t kid yourself. If I was 45 there’s no way under any conditions I’d be having sex with a teenager. Maybe she just reached the age of consent if indeed she is 18 but I think the proper course of action would have been to encourage her to wait until she’s older, more mature and most especially in love.

I’m not going to call you a heathen but I do find “scoundrel” to be far too kind a description.

7

No, I don’t mean they fake it, I mean it’s too uncomfortable or too new for them to relax enough to orgasm.

lieu: I think you’re wrong, and I’m female. I would have liked for an older man and a wiser man to help/teach me when I was young. And you don’t have to be in love to have sex. What a quaint little idea.

8

thanks anaamika…i’m not feeling scoundrel-like, i appreciate the defense. to answer a couple questions: when she approached me this summer, part of my denial was to tell her to come back when she’s 18. her response was that well, then she had until december to work on me. i checked the date at that time.

no, not an older sister, but the cousin whose apt. we were at is, if possible even prettier.

9

I think it sounds kind of creepy. I see blackmail looming on the horizon.

If she honestly believes that just because someone she barely knows has a “negative” STD test that he is without a doubt negative, and therefore it’s okay to skip using condoms, she is much more immature than she presents herself. And you as a 45-year-old man should know better.

10

He certainly is older but where did you get “wiser” from? She’s still a kid and he’s probably older than her father. He helps her “get laid” and then comes to a public message board and brags about it.

If there had been a paragraph in there about how her parents agreed this was a good course of action and gave their consent, then hey, have at it. But I’m kinda thinkin’ her guardians would be having a murderous shitfit right now if they knew what he’d done.

But then I do inhabit a quaint little world and I’m probably too old to change that now. Nor am I so inclined.

Color me repulsed by his behavior.

11

She spent 6 months “working on you” as a minor, as in convincing you to have sex with her? Gross. Just gross.

12

Yeah I think its kind of skeevy. But hey, I’m biased; I’ve had a girls turn me down in favor of some guy twice my age and I will definitely say that in some situations having 20 years worth of life experience and time to accumulate capital has an edge over the broke college student with no full-time job and an uncertain outlook on life.

13

No offense, but to me, this entire story sounds like fiction.

I can’t wait for the next chapter where she tells all of her cheerleadig friends about how great he is and they all want to come and get their sex ed from him.

14

Let me help you answer your question for yourself. Would you show her your post on this message board? Even without your identifying her, what do you think she’d think about it? If you don’t want her to see it, why not?

Oh, and another question. You don’t have a kid yourself at her school, do you?

15

Well, I may be an old prude, but if it had been my daughter, and if my husband and I had found out, things would have been very ugly.

That aside, there’s something creepy about a 45-y/o man and an 18-y/o girl, no matter how “mature” she may appear. Yeah, you’re both adults, but neither of you acted the part, as far as I’m concerned. Your life. Her life. None of my business. Just my gut reaction.

16

again, several answers in one.

we didn’t “barely know” each other. were both pretty familiar with each other. peripherally was probably not the right word - casually is.

i know i’m not carrying an std, my history and lifestyle tell me (the parts that are my business), and she knows full well what she’s going in to. the test was to satisfy her to the extent that a single test could.

it’s not fiction, but then there’s no way to prove that much to you, so why bother?

in the past 30 minutes i e-mailed her the link to this post, because yeah i did ask her if i ought to put the question out there since it’s something we both struggled with somewhat. this may be public, but it’s private at the same time. she’s pretty amused by some of your responses. made the case that some people seriously underestimate the maturity level of today’s teenager.

and no, i don’t have a kid at her school. mine graduated.

17

On second thought, maybe you should also share this with your wife and 20 year old daughter. I’m thinking they know you better than we do and might be better able to answer your question about whether your actions/public gloating were scoundrel-ish or just trying to help out a nice kid.

18

Very quaint. It could be worse, she could have had a nationally televised reality show to pick her first lover (not that far-fetched, I’m surprised there hasn’t been one already). Instead she chose someone she knows, and both parties put a lot of thought and consideration into the matter.

19

You’re both consenting adults and you handled this in the most respectful and responsible manner possible. She seems to have no regrets, so I say, good on ya.

That said, I dont know if making it a regular thing is a good idea. She may be smart and mature, but probably isn’t jaded ans wise enough to where she might not form a deeper emotional attachment. And that’s something I would recommend against.

20

I don’t think you did anything wrong to the girl. If the situation was reversed and it was an 18 year old male with a 45 year old woman I think many people’s opinions would be changed.