I was kicked out of Wendy’s once, and it was all my roommate’s fault. This was back in the day, and Wendy’s slogan at the time was “Hot and Juicy.” Or maybe it was “Hot 'n Juicy,” don’t remember exactly. But the staff wore buttons with the slogan, and my roommie and I went in one day. A very attractive girl was at the counter taking orders. Roommie took one look at her button and said, “Hot and juicy, eh?” She slammed down her pencil, exclaimed, “That’s it!” and stormed off to fetch the manager, who asked us both to leave.
I also used to order the Sausage McMuffin and I found that about 30% of the time I would get a Sausage McMuffin with Egg. Didn’t really bother me too much, as long as they didn’t charge me for the egg.
I also order Subway sandwiches without cheese and sometimes the sandwich maker puts it on anyways. Again, doesn’t bother me too much; I just find it adds almost zero flavour and presumably a non-zero amount of fat, salt, etc.
That one kind of surprises me; isn’t the whole point that they make the sandwich right in front of you, while pausing to ask which type of cheese you want?
I have had this problem at various hamburger joints. I’ve learned to say something like, “I want a hamburger. Not a cheeseburger. I don’t want any cheese on it. Do you understand that? No cheese.” Incidentally, I like some kinds of cheese and always have some in my refrigerator. I don’t want to eat too much cheese though. I don’t want to eat the kind they put on cheeseburgers. I don’t want them to put various things on my hamburger. I make sure that they only put the things I want on them, and cheese is one thing I don’t want on my hamburger. I suggest that rather than complaining to the people at the hamburger joint you usually go to or even the top management of the chain, you just quit going to that place. Similarly, I don’t waste time posting to websites that rate restaurants. If I don’t like their food, I just don’t go there again.
American cheese is “pasteurized, process cheese”. It really, truly, is real cheese. It’s not the most distinctive cheese and often mocked, but it is real cheese.
However -
Most people who think they have eaten or are eating “American cheese” are not, in fact, eating cheese. These days it goes by name "cheese product " but you might also see “cheese food” or something of the sort. Those might have a bit of cheese in them but they also have a crapload of extenders and fillers and other things which are cheaper than actual cheese, even an unrespected cheese such as American cheese.
Kraft singles are “cheese product”, not cheese
Kraft Deli Deluxe are actual American cheese.
Read the labels. It’s important.
Another brand of cheese that is also a “pasteurized process cheese” that does not seem to have the same lack of respect (in America - in its native France I gather it’s not considered a serious cheese) is Laughing Cow (in French, La Vache Qui Rit. I guess people think that because it’s from France it’s a cut above other processed cheeses. Read the label. I know any number of people are are convinced that somehow it’s more of a cheese than American cheese but it’s not. And there’s nothing wrong with either of them really. American cheese is closer to cheddar in flavor (traditionally, a mix of Colby and cheddar), and the original Laughing Cow was Swiss cheese, but they’re both processed cheeses.
Processed cheeses are mass produced with an emphasis on consistency, they are not artisanal cheese made in small batches. Gourmet/artisanal cheeses are meant to have a strong character and they vary. Processed cheeses are meant to always be the same. Two different niches.
One clue is that if each slice must be wrapped or they will all melt into each other then it’s not cheese, it’s “cheese product” or whatever. If slices will remain slices when stacked on top of each other then it’s most likely actual cheese.
Now, IF you intend to melt your cheese or “cheese” then the “cheese product” might be your preferred choice. Velveeta, for example, is a “cheese product” that is promoted as a choice for melting onto cheeseburgers, making grilled cheese sandwiches, various sauces, and dips, and for mac-n-cheese and it is a good choice for that because it melts at a lower temperature and the result has a more consistent texture than a true cheese.
It’s also a “good” choice for school cafeterias and fast food cheeseburgers because it’s cheaper.
Processed cheese also melts well, but not quite as well as “cheese product” or its variations. And processed cheese melts better than non-processed cheeses like cheddar or other hard cheeses.
Want a cheese board with your wine tasting? Get some artisanal cheese for that. Want something for an informal party appetizer or snack? Get some American cheese or Laughing Cow or something similar. Want a cheese burger? Go for “cheese product” unless you want a particular flavor of some other cheese variant. Having Jewish friends over? Don’t serve cheese on the burgers (unless they specifically ask for one - not all Jews keep kosher and my Jewish dad’s liking for ham and Swiss on rye was well known, which is about as un-kosher as a sandwich gets).
In the US “processed cheese” has to be 51% cheese and a few other requirements. Less than that it’s “cheese flavored” something-something. Cheese food is what you feed your pet cheese. (Yes, in the past “cheese food” was a designation used by the industry but not any more due to regulations).
From Family Restaurant by Uncle Bonsai:
Yes, they ask “Cheese?”. But every once in a while, they still put on cheese after I say a simple “No thanks”, either from sheer muscle memory or because they just heard “thanks”. I learned to say something more distinctive like “No, no cheese, thank you”.
I used to get that almost every day a few years ago when my daughter went to school near a McDonald’s, so a sample size of about a hundred or so. Unfortunately, I’ve never had the luck of getting them to screw up the order by adding an egg to it, but I did find myself intimately familiar with the range of quality to be expected from that order. I should not have that kind of connoisseur knowledge, but there were days (most) where it was just warmed through, other days (maybe 10% of the time) when it was overcooked and dry, but about a fifth of the time, they would arrive in their perfect (to me) state, which is sufficiently toasted so they were just crusty on the edges, but not so much as to be get brittle and dried out.
I love a sausage McMuffin. It has the perfect ratio of meat, cheese, and bread. Not super salty, just salty enough, warm and delicious.
I do not like the egg on a McMuffin. It is flavorless and just adds a rubbery and unnecessary texture that throws everything off. I’ve never had one added to my sandwich by accident but if they did, I’d just take it off. (I wouldn’t be mad, it’s not s big deal unless I was charged for it.)
I haven’t had one in years, but I used to order them “sub folded egg” (a code given me by the Younger Ottlet). That way they’d put on the same kind of egg used on the biscuit sandwiches; didn’t add a whole lot of egg flavor, but at least it didn’t bring to mind congealed snot.
I don’t mind the egg on their biscuits (the biscuits on the other hand are another story). It’s the same scrambled egg thing that comes in their “big breakfast” platter. It’s all right, both taste and texture-wise.
I might try this someday, thanks for the suggestion. Their muffin with the right kind of egg might be pretty damn good.